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Hello Brothers and Sisters
This is a very interesting subject, and I will apprecite everyone's input Muslim or Not
We all know that the Allah told Muslim Men to marry up to 4 AS LONG AS THE HUSBAND WILL BE 100% fair between all wives:
<b>“If ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans, Marry women of your choice, Two or three or four; but if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one, or (a captive) that your right hands possess, that will be more suitable, to prevent you from doing injustice.”</b>
<b><i>[The Quran ; 4:3] </i></b>
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وَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ أَلاَّ تُقْسِطُواْ فِي الْيَتَامَى فَانكِحُواْ مَا طَابَ لَكُم مِّنَ النِّسَاء مَثْنَى وَثُلاَثَ وَرُبَاعَ فَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ أَلاَّ تَعْدِلُواْ فَوَاحِدَةً أَوْ مَا مَلَكَتْ أَيْمَانُكُمْ ذَلِكَ أَدْنَى أَلاَّ تَعُولُواْ (3)
-> This is the verse that allows Muslim men to marry up to 4 women, there is no other location in the Quran that talks about polygamy other than this verse. This is a very important verse in the Quran, a very detailed understanding is really required but please bear in mind that I read all the tafseer to it in Arabic many times by the following :
A) Ibn Kathir
B) Al Gallalin
C) Al Tabarri
D) Al Qurtuby
Clear in the verse that Allah said <b>“Marry Two or Three or Four”</b>, but that was as a solution to a problem, also the same verse stated to <b>“Mary Only One”</b> but again that was another solution to another problem,
-> If we look again on the English translation above, we can easily identify the two problems and the solutions told to us by Allah :
<b>I) The first problem:</b> <b>“If ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans,”</b>
i.e “IF WE FEAR NOT TO BE ABLE TO DEAL JUSTLY WITH THE ORPHANS”, i did not add much the words are very clear indeed. the most important keyword in here is “<b>The Orphans</b>”
<b>The solution :</b> <b>“Marry women of your choice, Two or three or four”</b>
We can see easily see that the problem was about “<b>The Orphans</b>” and the solution was to marry “<b>Women</b>”
All the scholars interpreted this verse with difficulty; in fact many were a bit confused about it, please read all the tafseer by those top 4 great scholars.
<b>Their interpretation was briefly as follow:</b>
In the past men used to marry the Orphaned Women and not pay their dowries, obviously because they had no parents to take care of this condition and insist on it, so the scholars interpretation was, this verse tell them to marry up to four as a solution.
Come on brothers and sisters, this does not make any sense whatsoever.
First of all the verse was talking about a problem related to “<b>THE ORPHANS</b>”, <b>NOT </b>
to “<b>THE ORPHANED WOMEN</b>”, please read it again in both languages, but assuming this understanding that the verse is talking about “<b>THE ORPHANED WOMEN</b>” we will find easily that the proposed solution does not make sense,
if you fear not to pay the dowry to the Orphaned Women, Marry up to 4
logically speaking, I would say that it should be like this:
if you fear not to pay the dowry to the Orphaned Women, do not marry 4 (one is enough and you should still pay the dowry to her)
Am I right here brothers and sisters?
It seems the scholars got mixed up with another verse in the same sura, let’s have a look at it:
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“They ask thy instruction concerning the women say: Allah doth instruct you about them: And (remember) what hath been rehearsed unto you in the Book, concerning the orphans of women to whom ye give not the portions prescribed, and yet whom ye desire to marry
, as also concerning the children who are weak and oppressed: that ye stand firm for justice to orphans
. There is not a good deed which ye do, but Allah is well-acquainted therewith.”
<b><i>[The Quran ; 4:127]</i></b>
<b> </b>
وَيَسْتَفْتُونَكَ فِي النِّسَاء قُلِ اللّهُ يُفْتِيكُمْ فِيهِنَّ وَمَا يُتْلَى عَلَيْكُمْ فِي الْكِتَابِ فِي يَتَامَى النِّسَاء الَّلاتِي لاَ تُؤْتُونَهُنَّ مَا كُتِبَ لَهُنَّ وَتَرْغَبُونَ أَن تَنكِحُوهُنَّ وَالْمُسْتَضْعَفِينَ مِنَ الْوِلْدَانِ وَأَن تَقُومُواْ لِلْيَتَامَى بِالْقِسْطِ وَمَا تَفْعَلُواْ مِنْ خَيْرٍ فَإِنَّ اللّهَ كَانَ بِهِ عَلِيمًا (127)
-> After reading this great verse in the same sura , the confusion arose in verse 3 has been cleared
-> It seems verse 3 is talking about a totally different thing, that RELATES TO THE ORPHANS in general, NOT to the ORPHANS OF WOMEN
-> The Quran clearly differentiated between the General Orphans and Orphans of women in this verse, can you see “<b>as also</b>” between the two?, it also clearly stated the problem of not paying the dowry
-> going back to verse 3 that allows Muslim men to marry up to 4:
<b></b>
“If ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans, Marry women of your choice, Two or three or four; but if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one, or (a captive) that your right hands possess, that will be more suitable, to prevent you from doing injustice.”
<b><i>[The Quran ; 4:3]</i></b>
-> We all know that this verse was revealed after Uhud Battle, in which too many Muslim men died, most of those Muslim men left widows and children behind, it was very important for Allah to provide a solution regarding the care of those orphans, especially their fathers died for the cause of Islam, while I will agree that any capable man can take any oath to help any orphan, possibly by paying a certain amount of money per month to his/her mother, but again what guarantee that this kind man will continue to do as such until the orphaned children grow independent?, there is no guarantee for sure, possibly in a month I forgot, or I went away for a few months, or I prefer my children to have the money this month, etc etc, we are humans not Angels, and truly I may take an oath to help a poor orphan but I may fear that I may forget this help at a certain time under certain circumstances, the most legitimate way to show my sincere desire to help the orphans “<b>the most in need</b>” and defeat my fear to not to deal with them justly is to marry their mother “<b>the second most in need</b>”, in fact that was a commo practise in Egypt, when a borther dies and leave a wife and children, one of his other brothers marry his sister in law "even if he was married" to take care of his brother chidlren, I'm sure that was inherited when the polygamy was Islamicaly and morally practised in the past
I can not believe that for those many years Muslims thought a man after getting bored with his wife just go and marry up to four, this is ridiculous and is so unfair for women, especially they may also get bored with their husbands, while the two still continue to love each other,
I can see easily the effect of this flawed understanding in many families including members in my family who resorted to this flawed understanding without putting any amount of reasonable and logical thoughts regarding it and just following what was said as long as it is in their favour, if man simply wants to marry another woman to satisfy a lust then sure this most likely will end in an undesirable outcome regarding both families I reckon, I have seen many examples in life in my country of origin Egypt.
We can see that the Quran stresses the care for orphans big times in many locations, and this makes great sense because the children if raised properly, many future problem regarding their nature, their belief, and their integrity can be avoided, it is a lesson from Allah to show us how extreme we can take it by marrying their mother, as long as the main objective is to help the orphans and raise them properly and to demolish the fear not to treat the orphans unjustly.
But sure this solution will cause another problem and because Allah is the All Knowing and All Just, He can’t not leave it unresolved especially He is the one to create the solution:
<b>II) The second problem:</b> <b>“but if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one”</b>
i.e “IF WE FEAR NOT TO BE ABLE TO DEAL JUSTLY WITH THE MULTIPLE WIVES”
Again can’t be straighter than this indeed.
<b>The solution :</b> <b>then only one</b>
The solution sounds more of an order to me, because Allah will not just consider the orphans and careless about the first wife or wives if the husband wanted to care for more orphans, Allah is always just and because He provided the solution, and He knows us very well, He knows that the solution will have side effects, the main side effect will be the jealousy between the wives "we have seen even examples between the prophet wives sura "Al Tahrim", this well sure lead to unjust treatment from the husband towards his wives, but again how many men thought about this before marrying another woman?
Well if you marry another woman for lust, I bet you will never think about fearing to not to be fair between them
But of you marry another woman for caring for her orphaned children then I bet the thought will come to mind regarding the first wife, <b>make sense to anyone?</b>
We also need to ask?, why 4?, why not 6? Why not 10?
I asked myself these questions after seeing how the Quran stressed it : <b>“Marry women of your choice, Two or three or four” </b>
Certainly a man can marry more than 4, we have known about prophets marrying hundreds, and sure normal humans who married hundreds
If it was for lust reason, then there should not be an upper limit, but if it was permitted JUST for the care of the orphans then an upper limit may logically be for a reason, because if each woman has one orphan then that is 4 orphans to care for, if each has 2 then that is 8 to care for and as the number or orphans that each woman increases, the total number for the orphans to care for will be huge, adding to that my own children for sure, but working on an average the number 4 will make great sense if the average is 2 from each wife, so the upper limit is required because the polygamy reason is to care for as many orphans from a max of 4 wives with orphans, not to have a climate change with another wife
We can also see how Allah was very accurate in delivering His solution by including these words “<b>of your choice</b>”, which simply means I still have to look at their mother and see if she will be a good wife, not because I want to care for her orphans I will be locked up with a horrible woman “<b>if she is</b>”, i.e. I must have a choice and evaluation to the mother of those orphans
Very great teaching from Allah, He is considering every bit of details, He is being fair with the Orphans, He is being fair with the Husbands by allowing them to make a choice and cosider the women as wives, and He is fair with all wives by telling us to MUST deal justly with them all, the last bit in this very important verse may give the inclination that Allah is talking about marrying women with orphans , not single women, let’s look at it:
<b>“that will be more suitable, to prevent you from doing injustice. “</b>
i.e if we fear not to treat the multiple wives justly then we <b>SHOULD MARRY ONLY ONE</b> because that will be more suitable, to prevent you from doing injustice.
The last words were translated wrong actually, while it may sound ok and logical as that is the ultimate objective is <b>NOT TO DO INJUSTICE</b>, the arabic words were totally different: “<b>ZALEK ADNA ALA TA’OOLO</b>”, truly it does not mean what was translated by Yusuf Ali, in fact it is striking to see what it means in Arabic, I’m sure all Arabic speakers know what the word “<b>TA’OOLO</b>” means, it clearly means that you have “<b>Eial</b>” “<b>Children</b>” to care for, again please look at the tafsir and see how it was hard for them to find out what it means, some said it means “<b>Lean to another direction</b>” “<b>Tamil</b>” again they based their understanding on another verse on the same sura that the word "<b>Tamil</b>" was used, some suggested it means "<b>to do injustice</b>”, in fact the arabic word is a very common word that means have plenty of “<b>Eial</b>” to care for, “<b>TA’OOLO</b>” or to have plenty of "<b>Dependants</b>"
i.e. it is better to marry one wife than marrying many while being unjust with them and have plenty of children to care for, because it was assumed that the husband intension of the multiple marriage is to care for another “<b>Eial</b>”, “<b>children</b>” not to change the life style by marrying another woman
What is left for me to discuss is Allah did not leave to men to judge if they will be fair between the ,multiple wives or not, because simply men can mislead themselves that they will do so but in reality it can’t happen so Allah can’t leave this without mentioning because He knows us best, let’s read it from the same sura:
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“Ye are never able to be fair and just as between women, even if it is your ardent desire: But turn not away (from a woman) altogether, so as to leave her (as it were) hanging (in the air). If ye come to a friendly understanding, and practise self-restraint, Allah is Oft-forgiving, Most Merciful.”
<b><i>[The Quran ; 4:129]</i></b>
<b> </b>
وَلَن تَسْتَطِيعُواْ أَن تَعْدِلُواْ بَيْنَ النِّسَاء وَلَوْ حَرَصْتُمْ فَلاَ تَمِيلُواْ كُلَّ الْمَيْلِ فَتَذَرُوهَا كَالْمُعَلَّقَةِ وَإِن تُصْلِحُواْ وَتَتَّقُواْ فَإِنَّ اللّهَ كَانَ غَفُورًا رَّحِيمًا (129)
-> Very straight teachings from the Quran men just can’t be fair between women : <b>"Ye are never able to be fair and just as between women"</b>, but look what the Quran said after : <b>"even if it is your ardent desire"</b>, i.e men may mislead themselves to think they will be capable to be fair between multiple wives, and because we know it can’t happen then <b>marry only one</b> exactly as the Quran stated word for word
Again I dicsussed this findings by many msulims in australia, a mufti on a sunni forum and an ex muslim who lives in the UK and I'm trying to get him back to the right oath inshaallah, and a muslim in egypt who already marrying to 2
ironically I ended up with 5 understandings:
1) the one I explained above
2) another one from the mufti
3) another one from the plogymous egyotain
4) the one we have from the tafsir regarding the dowry
5) another one from an Islamic forum for muslim sisters
this is really funny and will be the subject of my following comments inshaallah
please add your thoughts
Peace to all
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