11-26-2003, 03:51 PM
Salaam aleikum
This is a controversial issue. And i have thought about it a lot. I would say that as long as i know that if i want to marry i know there is a lot of good practising single brothers out there who are searching, no need to go after someone already married. Here its more muslim men than women anyway.
But on the other hand. If a man is good or not i cant really know. Until we are married. But with a man already married, i can know if he is good or not, i can get first hand info on most things about him.
Me personally i think i rather come as the second wife, than see my eventuall husband take second wife. Cuz then if i come as a second wife, its something i thought about and know and i have a choice. But to be the first and he take second, is something out of my control.
I know one of my sisters here in Norway, she is SO opposing anything with polygony, she rather divorce her husband if he wants second wife.