10-07-2003, 05:56 PM
Salaam Alaikum
My name is Ibn Kumuna. I converted to Islam on Oct 12, 2001. So far the quest has be everything that I have asked for. I'm 20 now, however, when I converted to Islam, I was 18. I'm a student at a University studying Ancient Semitic (Middle Eastern) Linguistics and History.I write numerous articles on Islam, religion, politics and conversion stories. However, when I first converted, I knew a lot about the faith before I delved into its majesty. I wasn't caught up with the fiasco of 'Lets bash Islam for profit' biz. I simply was looking to find Allah (swt) truth. I became more interested in my surroundings. I became aware of what other religions were about rather than just Christianity. This caused me to look at my religion with a skeptical mind. I no longer read the bible for just "reading," I read it simply to analyze it and understand the world it grew up in. I began to have lots of doubts about Christianity. The simple readings of the texts were no longer succinct for a mind of mine. I wanted to know about my faith and what it was about. After a close examination of it, I slowly but surely began to deconstruct Christianity in a very fundamental way. Jesus, according to scholarship, was not the "divine" claimed Palestinian Jew that most theological thinking Christians thought he was. The Old Testament was not a single source, as the Quran repeatedly states. The trinity, most of all, was a theological invention, to put it nicely. I was a Christian to a certain degree, but some of the old beliefs that I held about the faith were not living up to modern investigation/examination.
After coming to terms with reality, I no longer considered myself a Christian. I called my self a Nihilist: someone who views the world as nothingness. No morals, no right virtues. This was a hard reality that I felt I needed to accept. Christianity was incomplete and a pious fraud in my opinion. I was a skeptic. I abandoned the Bible, Christianity, but most of all, I abandoned God. I felt God now in question after Christianity had taken the "slaps." I didn't want to abandon God at first, however there was virtually no point in believing in God if one has no faith. That's what I felt. I was revision all my childhood thoughts. The old "Derrick" was dying and the new Enlightened Derrick was emerging. The end was near and I didn't want to be left behind still thinking I was undeveloped. I began to expand my reading material, no longer afraid of the books that aggressively attacked Christianity, or religion for that matter. The 18th century French Philosopher Voltaire critically came at Christianity from all sides. Fredrick Nietzsche demonstrated that Christianity and God were essentially misleading men and women into illusional frenzy. Albert Camus in his Nobel Prize winning book "The Stranger" asked why we seemed thrilled to even wake up everyday. I was unhappy, but then again I found the truth; at least, that's what I thought. Out of all the reading material it never came across that I never read any material on Islam. This was of course after I had received a Quran. I began to investigate who Muhammad (saw) was with a "CRITICAL" mind. I was a still a skeptic. However, I was quite amazed at some of the work done on his life. I was living in an age where anti-Islamic polemic ran rapid. All I had ever heard about Islam was that it was simply an Arabian-raiding brigade, and Muhammad (saw) was the grand innovator. However, as I began to read more and more I soon learned that those "myths" were losing their ground. Most of all, I liked the Quantico description of God. When I left Christianity I was still picturing God in a literal manner. For instance: The picture of God in the sixteen chapel in which he has a beard. This anthromorphic depiction was one of the reasons why I stop believing in God. However, when I delved into the Quran, all my older pictures of God (i.e. the Trinity) were slowly, but surely, diminishing. Secondly, the Quranic depiction of Jesus seems to throw him back into a Semitic Prophet. Contrary to the Trinitarian depiction, which seems to be an _expression of Hellenistic/Greek thought. All my older thoughts on God, Jesus and Christianity were being revised once again, but this time for the better. Alhamdulilah.
I was beginning to research Islam non-stop. Everything I looked up had something to do with Islam. From interpretations of the Quran to biographies of the Prophet, I was thrilled by what I didn't know. I was completely fascinated with Islam. I went to the Masjid and attended services even though I wasn't Muslim. I saw something different in Islam than what I saw in Christianity. I loved Islam and I wasn't even Muslim. Overwhelmed by the Islamic way of life, I converted to Islam. However, It wasn't the only reason. 9/11 was leading component to my conversion as well. But, 9/11 helped me psychologically. I started to dress Sunnah because I wanted to show that I wasn't afraid of what people thought about Muslims. Also, I didn't want Muslims to stop acting like Muslims do to fear. We needed to stand up and be who we are and not run. So far, the quest has been great, to say the least. But, I think most of all I can say that I have learned a great deal about who I really and what Allah (swt) has to offer. With my love for reading, I now dedicate my life to the study of the society that the Prophets (saw) grew up in. And hopefully this will lead to other qualities as well Insha-Allah.
I hope this will warm all of your hearts, Insha-Allah.
Ibn_Kumuna (i.e. the convert)