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Journey out of Darkness - Mutawakkil - 08-11-2003
Bismillahir-rahmanir-raheem
As-salaamu alaykom wa rahmat-Allaahi wa barakaatuhu to my brothers and sisters in Islaam
[u:f0a9a501ea]My journey to Islaam[/u:f0a9a501ea]
How did an anglo-celtic man, who lived a regulation average life in the western world, whose knowledge of religion was gleaned from ‘Sunday school” as a kid, come to accept Islaam?
Al-hamdu lillaahi Rabbil-`Aalameen, All the praise is due to Allah, the Rabb of Aalamin - mankind, jinn and all that exists. It was completely the result of the great Mercy of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful. This is my story, as a way of praise to Allah Most Gracious, Most Merciful, for His Love for me and His Mercy to me and setting me on a journey out of the darkness that is this world into the light that is Islaam. And hopefully a means by which other seekers, may come to realize Who it is that is missing in our lives.
And again and again and again, Al-hamdu lillaahi Rabbil-`Aalameen, All the praise is due to Allah, the Rabb of Alamin - mankind, jinn and all that exists, that Allah Subhaanahu wa Taalaa guided me to Islaam:
[b:f0a9a501ea]Whomever Allah wills to guide, He opens his chest to Islaam[/b:f0a9a501ea] Surat Al-An'am (The Cattle) 6:125
My life was the regular kafir fare - christian by birth certificate and ’sunday school’ only. Wife, kids, cat & a dog etc. But there came a point in my life I realised only God could make sense of this life for me. So I recited what I was taught in ‘sunday school’ - 'The Lord's Prayer' which I recited over and over with a special prayer thrown in: "If you are really real, please show me."
That was some ten years ago now. From that moment I spent seven long years peeking in every nook and cranny searching for God, searching for the secret of life. My search was an inward journey. I never discussed my quest nor religion with anyone, except my ex-family, who concurred that I was slowly going insane.
Not once in all that time did I notice the word, Islaam or Allah (Subhaanahu wa Taalaa) or Muhammad (Sallallahu Alaihee Wassalam). Islaam was never considered. My search for God took me to many highs and many times of intense fear.
Then, one day, we finally got the internet at home. And I was introduced to a thing called a search engine. It had this small panel where you could type in some words and then click on a button called 'enter' and would search the whole world over for the answer to your question. Late that night when all were in bed;
>Power up computer
>select - 'search engine'
>type in biblical and religious parameters
>click on 'enter'
>and up comes page after page after page of -
>HUH ?? What ?? ISLAAM ??
>Picks a web-page
>HUH ?? What ?? The Holy Qur'an ??
>Sura Baqarah (The Cow) opens
>and all I read was;
>[b:f0a9a501ea]"This is the Book; in it is guidance sure without doubt to those who fear Allah."[/b:f0a9a501ea]
>I exclaimed.....ah-ha !!!
>Found you!!!
:::::::::::::::::::::
Seven long years and it finally was over, I had found the secret to life.
[b:f0a9a501ea]Ash-hadu ala ilaha illal-Lah wa-ash-hadu anna Muhammadur rasulullah.[/b:f0a9a501ea] (I bear witness that there is no deity worthy of worship but Allah and I bear witness that Muhammad is the servant and messenger of Allah.)
[b:f0a9a501ea]Allah has revealed the most beautiful message, a Book consistent in its verses yet repeating its teachings in different ways. Those who fear their Rabb are filled with awe when they hear it, their skins and their hearts become pliant to the remembrance of Allah. Such is the guidance of Allah: He guides with it whom He pleases. But he to whom He confounds shall have none to guide him.[/b:f0a9a501ea] Az-Zumar 39:23
Al-hamdu lillaahi Rabbil-`Aalameen All the praise is due to Allah, the Rabb of Alamin - mankind, jinn and all that exists, I am muslim three full Islamic years a couple of days after next Eid, in shaa Allah. What a time that was. To enter into Islaam when every single muslim on the planet was filled to the brim with 'Deen'. Ramadan had just finished and everyone I met was 'high' on the spirit of Islaam. It seemed as if I was on another world, far, far away.
I announced to my ex-family that I had accepted Islaam. They would fly into a rage when I made wudu (washing for prayer) claiming it to be some satanic ritual, and especially when they would see me in sajud (kneeling on the floor with face on the ground). It wasn't long before I heard those words;
[b:f0a9a501ea]"Get out of our lives and take your precious Allah with you."[/b:f0a9a501ea]
I packed a small suitcase, grabbed my pillow and walked out of that nightmare world. I walked away with dignity from my ex-wife, my ex-children, my ex-house, my ex-business and my ex-life. But I still got me mum although she has said I am not to mention religion. May Allah Subhaanahu wa Taalaa open her heart one day. Make dua'a for her please.
I slept in the car for a couple of nights then walked into the House Rental Agency:
"I'm sorry." he said. "We have had a big rush over the last week. We only have three vacancies left in the whole town. Two are large houses and out of your price-range, so that leaves you with only a choice of one." I took the door-key and went to have a look.
Alhamdulillaahi Rabbil 'Aalameen -All thanks and praise is due to Allah, Rabb (Lord) of the worlds and all that exists.
When only one choice is available to you there is no way you can pick and choose your next-door neighbors. My new neighbors? Muslims, in large numbers and a beautiful green-domed masjid (mosque). And again, Alhamdulillaahi Rabbil 'Aalameen, All thanks and praise is due to Allah, Rabb (Lord) of the worlds and all that exists.
I spent my first year with Tableegh (islamic missionaries). They were the closest I could find to 'deen' at the time. Something was 'missing' still. I liked there stories and lessons in seerah and sunnah, it made my eman rise. The other parts though left me flat. Alhamdulillaahi Rabbil 'Aalameen, All thanks and praise is due to Allah, Rabb (Lord) of the worlds and all that exists, Allah Subhaanahu wa Taalaa opened a way for me to go to Hajj. In some ways it seemed a little early to go, I didn't understand the true signifcance of the event. Here's two short memories of Hajj:
In Haraam Shareef - I was sitting on the steps just before you step down into the open area around the Kaba. I was looking back towards the door watching people as they came in. Then way over in the distance three very elderly people caught my eye. Two women and a man. They were of tartar appearance and I imagined them to be husband, wife and sister. There's a story that when you enter Haraam shareef for the first time, one should avoid looking upon the Kaba until you get as close as you can. Then when you finally look up and see Kaba make Dua'a and it is said Allah will surely answer your prayer.
Now the sisters had their eyes shut tight and were trying to carry this through and the man was acting as a guide and helping them through the crowd while trying not to look up at Kaba. Closer and closer they came until they stood right in front of me! Imagine, they could have been praying for this moment for maybe sixty years. They looked terribly poor and probably spent their life savings to come. My eyes never left their faces. When they stopped in front of me they looked up for their first sight of the Kaba. What a magic moment. Tears flooded their eyes and rolled down their cheeks like rivers flowing and I cried with them. They were trying to make dua'a and clutched at their throats but only emotion came out.
The second memory from Hajj was my dua'a. "Allahumma; please bestow on me forgiveness, beneficial knowledge and a pious wife."
Three weeks back from Hajj and I was told, I have someone I want you to meet. Alhamdulillaahi Rabbil 'Aalameen All thanks and praise is due to Allah, Rabb (Lord) of the worlds and all that exists. I am married 18 months now. She is an Alim, Hafeez Qur'an (memorised Qur'an by heart), my teacher, my family, my wife, my lover, my mother and my best friend.
[b:f0a9a501ea]Whomever Allah wills to guide, He opens his chest to Islaam[/b:f0a9a501ea] Surat Al-An'am (The Cattle) 6:125
So let this be a reminder that anyone who truly seeks Allah sincerely from his heart, he will find Him and much, much more than he can ever imagine.
Anas bin Malik Al-Ansari (May Allah be pleased with him) the servant of the Messenger of Allah narrated: Messenger of Allah (Peace and blessing be upon him) said: [b:f0a9a501ea]"Verily, Allah is more pleased with the repentance of His slave than a person who has his camel in a waterless desert carrying his provision of food and drink and it is lost. He, having lost all hopes (to get that back), lies down in shade and is disappointed about his camel; when all of a sudden he finds that camel standing before him. He takes hold of its reins and then out of boundless joy blurts out: 'O Allah, You are my slave and I am Your Rabb'.He commits this mistake out of extreme joy".[/b:f0a9a501ea] - (Muslim)
[b:f0a9a501ea]And your Rabb says: "Call on Me, I will answer your prayers. Surely those who are too arrogant to worship Me shall soon enter hell in humiliation."[/b:f0a9a501ea] Surat Ghafir 40:60
[b:f0a9a501ea]The most beautiful names belong to Allah: so call on Him by them. [/b:f0a9a501ea] Surat Al-A'Raf 7:180
So as you see, he answered my prayer, "If you are really real, please show me."
And never despair of Allah's mercy.
[i:f0a9a501ea]WasSalaamu alaykom wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh to my brothers and sisters in Islaam[/i:f0a9a501ea]
[img:f0a9a501ea]http://www.alhouta.com/moshaaf5.gif[/img:f0a9a501ea] What do you know about Islaam ??? Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful - is known through knowledge:::[b:f0a9a501ea]So KNOW ![b:f0a9a501ea]that there is no God but Allah.[/size:f0a9a501ea][/b:f0a9a501ea] - Surat Muhammad 47:19
<span>Anything I post that is beneficial & correct is from Allah Azza wa Jalla & anything incorrect is from me & Shaitan.[/size:f0a9a501ea] </span>
Journey out of Darkness - Muslimah - 08-11-2003
As Salam Alykom brother
I have much to say
But will hold it in the name of Allah, just to avoid Riya-a. Yet I can just say may Allah bless u and your wife, may He bestow His utmost mercy on both of u, keep us and u fixed on the correct path. May He also bring u comfort of the eye and allow your ex family and mum to see the light and join the winners club ameen.
Akhi Mutawakkil
WELCOME TO WHERE WE HOPE TO SPREAD THE MESSAGE OF ISLAM
Journey out of Darkness - Muslimah - 08-11-2003
As Salam Alykom
got overwhelmed and forgot to tell u
Masha Allah and Mubarak that Alhamdulelah Allah guided u for this and if it was not for Him you wouldn't have been guided
Mash a Allah
Journey out of Darkness - Amira2003 - 08-12-2003
Salam alikom
May Allah increase your faith and increase your knowledge brother and bless you and your wife. And guide your mum.
Journey out of Darkness - radiyah - 08-14-2003
Alhamdulilah is really the only word i can say deep from my heart , day after day christians reverting to islam , they r finding the right path to God , and with this the prophecy of prophet Mohammad pbuh has become true ,that islam will spread everywhere. (There is a 7adeeth about this but i dont remember it exactly now) so brother Mutawakkil welcome to Islam and may God bless your wife and show your whole family the right path .
![[Image: smile.gif]](http://www.islamsms.com/upload/html/emoticons/smile.gif)
Journey out of Darkness - Ibn_kumuna - 10-07-2003
Salaam Alaikum
My name is Ibn Kumuna. I converted to Islam on Oct 12, 2001. So far the quest has be everything that I have asked for. I'm 20 now, however, when I converted to Islam, I was 18. I'm a student at a University studying Ancient Semitic (Middle Eastern) Linguistics and History.I write numerous articles on Islam, religion, politics and conversion stories. However, when I first converted, I knew a lot about the faith before I delved into its majesty. I wasn't caught up with the fiasco of 'Lets bash Islam for profit' biz. I simply was looking to find Allah (swt) truth. I became more interested in my surroundings. I became aware of what other religions were about rather than just Christianity. This caused me to look at my religion with a skeptical mind. I no longer read the bible for just "reading," I read it simply to analyze it and understand the world it grew up in. I began to have lots of doubts about Christianity. The simple readings of the texts were no longer succinct for a mind of mine. I wanted to know about my faith and what it was about. After a close examination of it, I slowly but surely began to deconstruct Christianity in a very fundamental way. Jesus, according to scholarship, was not the "divine" claimed Palestinian Jew that most theological thinking Christians thought he was. The Old Testament was not a single source, as the Quran repeatedly states. The trinity, most of all, was a theological invention, to put it nicely. I was a Christian to a certain degree, but some of the old beliefs that I held about the faith were not living up to modern investigation/examination.
After coming to terms with reality, I no longer considered myself a Christian. I called my self a Nihilist: someone who views the world as nothingness. No morals, no right virtues. This was a hard reality that I felt I needed to accept. Christianity was incomplete and a pious fraud in my opinion. I was a skeptic. I abandoned the Bible, Christianity, but most of all, I abandoned God. I felt God now in question after Christianity had taken the "slaps." I didn't want to abandon God at first, however there was virtually no point in believing in God if one has no faith. That's what I felt. I was revision all my childhood thoughts. The old "Derrick" was dying and the new Enlightened Derrick was emerging. The end was near and I didn't want to be left behind still thinking I was undeveloped. I began to expand my reading material, no longer afraid of the books that aggressively attacked Christianity, or religion for that matter. The 18th century French Philosopher Voltaire critically came at Christianity from all sides. Fredrick Nietzsche demonstrated that Christianity and God were essentially misleading men and women into illusional frenzy. Albert Camus in his Nobel Prize winning book "The Stranger" asked why we seemed thrilled to even wake up everyday. I was unhappy, but then again I found the truth; at least, that's what I thought. Out of all the reading material it never came across that I never read any material on Islam. This was of course after I had received a Quran. I began to investigate who Muhammad (saw) was with a "CRITICAL" mind. I was a still a skeptic. However, I was quite amazed at some of the work done on his life. I was living in an age where anti-Islamic polemic ran rapid. All I had ever heard about Islam was that it was simply an Arabian-raiding brigade, and Muhammad (saw) was the grand innovator. However, as I began to read more and more I soon learned that those "myths" were losing their ground. Most of all, I liked the Quantico description of God. When I left Christianity I was still picturing God in a literal manner. For instance: The picture of God in the sixteen chapel in which he has a beard. This anthromorphic depiction was one of the reasons why I stop believing in God. However, when I delved into the Quran, all my older pictures of God (i.e. the Trinity) were slowly, but surely, diminishing. Secondly, the Quranic depiction of Jesus seems to throw him back into a Semitic Prophet. Contrary to the Trinitarian depiction, which seems to be an _expression of Hellenistic/Greek thought. All my older thoughts on God, Jesus and Christianity were being revised once again, but this time for the better. Alhamdulilah.
I was beginning to research Islam non-stop. Everything I looked up had something to do with Islam. From interpretations of the Quran to biographies of the Prophet, I was thrilled by what I didn't know. I was completely fascinated with Islam. I went to the Masjid and attended services even though I wasn't Muslim. I saw something different in Islam than what I saw in Christianity. I loved Islam and I wasn't even Muslim. Overwhelmed by the Islamic way of life, I converted to Islam. However, It wasn't the only reason. 9/11 was leading component to my conversion as well. But, 9/11 helped me psychologically. I started to dress Sunnah because I wanted to show that I wasn't afraid of what people thought about Muslims. Also, I didn't want Muslims to stop acting like Muslims do to fear. We needed to stand up and be who we are and not run. So far, the quest has been great, to say the least. But, I think most of all I can say that I have learned a great deal about who I really and what Allah (swt) has to offer. With my love for reading, I now dedicate my life to the study of the society that the Prophets (saw) grew up in. And hopefully this will lead to other qualities as well Insha-Allah.
I hope this will warm all of your hearts, Insha-Allah.
Ibn_Kumuna (i.e. the convert)
Journey out of Darkness - Muslimah - 10-08-2003
Quote:<i>Originally posted by Ibn_kumuna </i><b>Salaam Alaikum</b>As Salam Alykom brother
I started to dress Sunnah because I wanted to show that I wasn't afraid of what people thought about Muslims. Also, I didn't want Muslims to stop acting like Muslims do to fear. We needed to stand up and be who we are and not run. So far, the quest has been great, to say the least. But, I think most of all I can say that I have learned a great deal about who I really and what Allah (swt) has to offer. With my love for reading, I now dedicate my life to the study of the society that the Prophets (saw) grew up in. And hopefully this will lead to other qualities as well Insha-Allah.
I hope this will warm all of your hearts, Insha-Allah.
Ibn_Kumuna (i.e. the convert)
Warm my heart is not enough of a word, Mash aAllah. I mostly like what I quoted is to represent ourselves as Muslims not fearing any comment. YES true very true
May Allah increase your eman, piety, keep us and u fixed on the correct path. And Insh aAllah let us all meet in Jannah
Journey out of Darkness - hefny - 10-08-2003
Quote:<i>Originally posted by Ibn_kumuna </i><b>Salaam Alaikum</b>Alaikum aslaam my son
I hope this will warm all of your hearts, Insha-Allah.
Ibn_Kumuna (i.e. the convert)
I love you & gazaka Allah khair for sharing your conversion to islam with us and really you warm my heart
I hope after two years in Islam you have better understanding about Islam
You know my son most of us as native Muslims our knowledge about our great religion could be less than what you have that is why we are behind and we are not feeling the light of Allah in our hearts
Could I ask 2 more questions?
How about your family and your friends did they convert to Islam?
Also do you mind to copy your journey to Islam as a topic?
Journey out of Darkness - Muslimah - 10-08-2003
Quote:<i>Originally posted by hefny </i>[
You know my son most of us as native Muslims our knowledge about our great religion could be less than what you have that is why we are behind and we are not feeling the light of Allah in our hearts
QUOTE]
absolutely true brother absolutely true
Journey out of Darkness - Muslimah - 04-07-2004
as salam alykom Ibn
I saw to merge your story in this thread to be more accessible, hope u dont mind
Mash a Allah when I re read it it touched me again Sobhan Allah