10-05-2003, 06:57 PM
As Salam Alykom
Today I was visiting a friend of mine who is married in polygyny (she is the second wife), and we were discussing why women here in my country (and I will not comment on other countries since I have no idea about it), usually don’t accept polygyny easily and take it very hard.
I told her my opinion is that the woman feels totally insulted taking it as she is not enough in all aspects, either looks, manners, personality and more. She feels she is not a woman.
She told me the problem is that long ago we have seen examples (and this is very true) of men re marrying but then they totally dump the first wife, children, they fully lean towards the second one. We saw cases where the man does not even provide the financial support he is supposed to assume towards the family. He may for example stay away for months without even checking on the family. In such cases, the woman suffers a bitter empty life, with major responsibilities, she is neither divorced nor married. Certainly a terrible situation.
The result is of course women feel threatened when the man takes a second wife, they feel a total automatic rejection. But we must really differentiate between Shar`a Allah and man kinds usage. The usage is never a judgement of the legislation.
I just felt to share this thought with all of u here. I am not sure about other Islamic countries what may the reasons may be. May be someone can fill us about it.