04-30-2009, 07:43 PM
Bismillah
Amira
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This is a story which I do ask and supplicate GOD Almighty to reach everyone who is looking and seeking salvation and truth. To those who are honest with themselves. May Allah open and reveal the truth for all.
I was born as a Christian among an orthodox family, in which I had a very strict and prejudiced father and mother. Since we were 8 years old they took me and my sister weekly to the church so as to put the seeds of Christianity inside us to grow up and live with it. First, I did not understand the rules and teachings of the church due to my young age. When I started to grow up all my intentions and plans were to avoid these obligatory visits to the church which were not interesting to me. Inside me I had a feeling of rejection and refusal may be due to a psychological reaction of refusing orders and instructions. At that time my doubts were only limited to the strange and vague behavior of the church in some matters such as confession, touching the saints pictures to gain their blessing, drinking and eating flesh and blood of my LORD Jesus!!!!!!.
On the age of 19 I fell in love with a Muslim man regardless of any religious conflict. Our story ended with marriage. I stuck more to my religion demonstrating to my family and myself that I did not change by marrying a Moslem. Also the objective was to protect and save the relation with my family. I faced a lot of problems with my family to the extent that I was prevented from visiting them. I was not forced or obliged from my husband or any member of his family to think about changing my religion .One day I found by chance some books about comparative religion. I locked myself in a place alone so as not to let anyone know or feel that I am reading something out of my religion. I also wanted to avoid any external influence on me. From this moment I decided to read and think more and never to take anything as it is…you know why because I discovered that Buddhism and many other creeds are based upon the trinity belief, which made me really confused. I started to doubt about Jesus picture which I kept beside my bed. Is that his real picture or I am running after a mirage? especially after I visited the Far East and saw Jesus and virgin Mary pictures and statues ……but in Chinese features!!!!
I started to compare between my prayer and the Muslim prayer as supposed to be standing in front of GOD. I found that first condition is washing as to be clean from any dirt, get rid of the shoes which of course will be dirty, covering the hair for respect. In contrast, I used to enter the most sacred place (church) wearing any kind of clothes, shoes and without the kind of respect that the place deserves. I started to realize in my mind the picture of my GOD –JESUS- hanged on the cross and the Jews are spitting on him and he is in serious trouble asking his father to save him…. A GOD need help from another GOD I am confused, and if that was right; was not GOD capable to find a more respectful way to send his only son who is another – GOD -!!!!I decided to study and learn about my religion and other religions. …Thank God this was THE BEST DECISION I TOOK IN MY LIFE. ANOTHER important point that come to my mind is that when Jesus: my GOD! Was put to death in the grave who ruled the world is it his second hidden half: the father or whom …I can not understand is that the son or the holy ghost or the father or the father and the son or the son and the holy ghost or the father and the holy ghost I am getting crazy…..
I confess to the priest and the priest confesses to the cardinal and the cardinal confesses to the pope and the pope confesses to…………I do not know?????Is it to GOD so why all this Tom and Jerry stuff and mediators? Is not the priest a person like me who commit sins and make faults or he is raised above the human level to have the power to forgive me …..I do not think so.
IN CONTRAST I found that if a Muslim commits any sin he could easily wash and ask GOD FOR REPENTANCE WITH NO NEED FOR ANY MEDIATORS IN BETWEEN.Which is the logical and easiest way.
I started to receive my first shock and surprise upon reading (which I before consider GOD words) a lot of contradictions, sexual verses, adultery stuff, copying faults, wrong numbers, false incidents and insect stories that if you have kids you will feel shy of reading the bible words in front of them.
All that pushed me to feel for the first time that I am really in need to call only one GOD, I looked at the sky one night crying and asking (I do not know who) could show me the right way and if Islam is the right religion please make me submit to it.
The next day I kept crying I do not know why, ALL OF A SUDDEN I felt my self in need to pray. I asked my husband to whom do you pray and how. His answer was very simple and logic, to one and only GOD Who has no partners, the supreme, almighty, powerful and the only one. From the moment I prayed, my whole life changed. Thanks GOD now I can call Him without mediators.
Three months later from becoming a Muslim I started to think about HIJAB (woman’s dress in Islam including a head cover) which I detested as a Christian. I used to consider it as a sign of deterioration for women. In contrast now I really feel it is a high degree of respect to the woman who is seen in Islam as a precious pearl that should be protected against thieves and be revealed only to my husband. Thus I put my scarf on and showed it to my husband who was really proud of me. During all those 7 years since I embraced Islam, I passed through very tough time and received bad treatment from my parents. However, I was compensated with faith and calmness that never felt like before.
Now I am spending my time in a more useful and valuable way to gain GOD acceptance. I thank Him constantly for His great gift. At last I want to add that if I had the chance to write thousand pages of what I feel it will not be enough.