08-21-2003, 07:11 PM
Assamamalyakum sister.
I have read your post and it is difficult to understand exactly what you are trying to say. But, I am going to try and post an answer.
I have thought about polymagy a lot with an open and unjudging mind, as I am sure most muslims have.
First point. To ask your husband not to marry a second wife is probably the best approach any muslim woman can take. I say this following the example of the prophets daughter Fatimah.
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<i>And to fit another point in right here. I have often wondered why it is that women do not consider the example of the muslim women who were companions of the prophet. I mean, as women we need a woman as an example</i>
Second point. I almost hate to make this point because I get so many muslims telling me I am wrong. However, I still lean in this general direction. The prophet made it clear that he and his immediate family of wives were not like other people. (The hadith about this I do not actaully have in front of me to quote right now.)
It seems clear that Allah not only sent the prophet to deliver his message but also as a example. By this I mean that the prophet lived his life in a way that Allah can test us ordinary people.
We are sure that men can have more than one wife. The quran says so. But, also the Quran says that no man can be equal to two woman. No matter how much he desires to be so. And we can see in our everyday life men desire to be equal to two women.
I am sure that a man who has two wives is not being fair to them. And the proof I have is the Quran.
Now before I get into further trouble. I agree with what you say sister. If we are faced with another wife. We as muslim sisters must be strong and do our best to accept what Allah has ordained for us.
Ummibrehim