let us start a thread on poylgyny

[Muslimah]

As Salam Alykom ummibrehim

what do u think of starting another thread on interracial marriages, specially those among americans and ME men. And I really need your opinion girls whether to do it here or have it shared with our male brothers in teh woman and family forum, (which personaly I think is better to let them share their opinion).

let me know I think it is worth starting.

[Suhail]

have it in ur forum so then i dont have to read it

[Red Sea Diver]

Thank you sister for raising this issue, in fact we men are in need of more than one wife, you know we are living in a time full of temptation, just give us a chance and we shall try our best to proove that we can act justly between our wives by the Will of Allah.

[Muslimah]

as salam alykom

I moved the thread back here, I saw that brothers' input is also important to this topic. May Allah allow us to benefit

[Muslimah]

As Salam Alykom

Today I was visiting a friend of mine who is married in polygyny (she is the second wife), and we were discussing why women here in my country (and I will not comment on other countries since I have no idea about it), usually don’t accept polygyny easily and take it very hard.

I told her my opinion is that the woman feels totally insulted taking it as she is not enough in all aspects, either looks, manners, personality and more. She feels she is not a woman.

She told me the problem is that long ago we have seen examples (and this is very true) of men re marrying but then they totally dump the first wife, children, they fully lean towards the second one. We saw cases where the man does not even provide the financial support he is supposed to assume towards the family. He may for example stay away for months without even checking on the family. In such cases, the woman suffers a bitter empty life, with major responsibilities, she is neither divorced nor married. Certainly a terrible situation.

The result is of course women feel threatened when the man takes a second wife, they feel a total automatic rejection. But we must really differentiate between Shar`a Allah and man kinds usage. The usage is never a judgement of the legislation.

I just felt to share this thought with all of u here. I am not sure about other Islamic countries what may the reasons may be. May be someone can fill us about it.

[Red Sea Diver]

Sister Salamu Alaikum

I think its the nature of the woman which brings gheerah in her, I mean who can be better than the mothers of the believers they had gheerah and there are so many incidents e.g.

When 3aisha May Allah be please with her broke the plate and when she dropped herself from the camel and asked Allah to be stung by a scorpian so Rasul Allah PBUH could return to her.

When I open this subject with my wife you can't imagine what happens to her, but to be frank one wife is not enough specially in this time of temptation. I ask Allah that I find a good pious God fearing second wife soon and of course beautiful.

[hefny]

Aslaam alikum

Simply if we want to obey Allah and profit we have to stop thinking what we like or dislike

If sister like to do good deeds for sake of Allah they should themselves see if their husbands are surfing from their capabilities which could be intentionally or unintentionally they have either to accept the poylgyny and thank Allah for his mercy on us who allow a solution for his creation to avoid evil acts from us

If we are not accepting Allah commands simply we will suffer from Allah punishments in our life and hereafter

I leave in Saudi Arabia when poylgyny is normal and acceptable by most of women and I heard that they are even looking for their husbands to find a good wife

Even I heard that some of them the accept living together sharing same bedroom

Allah mercy on us we never understand it by our limited knowledge but we have to get the feeling of faith that if it is only for the saake ofa Allah

That not means women is less than men in Islam but Allah well known what the men could need but women is more important in islam because they have been created for a major tasks that to be the factory of creating and loving and caring of one family at a time

And Allah mercy that every thing else is supporting women even if husbands died Allah has commands all of us to take care of them with big rewards and thier kids (Allah wa akber)

Even if women reject to stay with a second wife she can ask for divorce but she will take less rewards from Allah and she could destroy fatherhood and motherhood for their kids

Some of you ladies will say this selfishness from men to get second wife again I will say this not true because if Allah allow that we should know this is a blessing from Allah if men need it and he can be fair between the two wife other wise he is not allowed to do so

If my opinion is right is from Allah and if I am wrong is from me and sit an