looking for a second wife

[imanov]

bismi-lLahi-rRahmani-rRahiem

alhamdu li-lLahi Rabbi-l'alamien wa-shshalatu wa-ssalamu 'ala asyrafi-lAnbiya-i wa-lMursalien, wa ba'd:

a-ssalam 'alaikum wa rahmatu-lLahi wa barakatuH,

im a father of 2 daughters, married since 1997 with a marrocan. i'm planning to marry a second wife, and later insh a Allah the third and the fourth. just for the sake of sunnah.

is there any muslimah ready as a co-wive to marry me ?

anything incorrect is from me and the syaithan, while everything correct is from Allah Azza wa Jalla.

wa-lLahu 'alam bi-shshawab, wa bi-lLahi-ttaufiq wal-hidayah baraka-lLahu fiekum - wa shalla-lLahu wa-ssallamuH 'alaa Nabiyyina

Muhammad, subhanaka-lLahumma wabihamdiKa asyhadu alla Ilaha illa Anta, astaghfiruKa wa atuubuilaiK.

wa ssalam 'alaikum wa rahmatu-lLahi wa-barakatuH.

[Purgetory]

well its non of my business realy, but as far as I can remember, if you want to marry 4 wives you should be able to spend on them and give them equality. just for the sake of sunnah, i believe, is not enough.

heck, just for the sake of sunnah people do hajj every single year and turn this holy pilgrimage for hard already, to heck-i'm-dieing-over-here. if you know what i mean.

[imanov]

bismi-lLahi-rRahmani-rRahiem

alhamdu li-lLahi Rabbi-l'alamien wa-salatu wa-ssalamu 'ala ashrafi-lAnbiya-i wa-lMursalien, wa ba'd:

a-ssalam 'alaikum wa rahmatu-lLahi wa barakatuH,

thanx, jazakumu-lLahu khairan for your posting.

Insh a Allah !

if He gives me a second one i'll try my best to do it.

anything incorrect is from me and the shaythan, while everything correct is from Allah Azza wa Jalla.

wa-lLahu 'alam bi-shshawab, wa bi-lLahi-ttaufiq wal-hidayah baraka-lLahu fiekum - wa sallallahu wa-ssallamuH 'alaa Nabiyyina Muhammad, subhanaka-lLahumma wabihamdiKa asyhadu alla Ilaha illa Anta, astaghfiruKa wa atuubuilaiK.

wa ssalam 'alaikum wa rahmatu-lLahi wa-barakatuH.

[MichelleSeeking]

I'm very curious to know what the status of a second wife is in Islam. Does she live together with the first wife as a sister-wife? If I were to be a second wife this is the way I would want to live so that my home would be filled with peace and love! Do the co-wives help with the raising of children and keeping the house?

My ancestors, the Crow Indians, would sometimes marry more then one wife and rank was assigned to each woman as she entered the family (first wife, second wife, and so on.) Does this happen to multiple wives in Islam or are they all equal?

When the husband wishes to take a second wife does he discuss this with his first wife - and does he respect her feelings and her wishes if she cannot handle being a co-wife?

It may be surprising that as an American I am open about polygamy - but I'm used to hearing about multiple wives through the oral traditions and stories of many tribes, including mine. When I was a child I would imagine being a treasured second wife in a happy village - something my other friends DEFFINATELY did not daydream about hahaha! But this just shows a difference in culture between me and my peers I suppose.

What does the Qur'an say about multiple wives?

I hope no one will mind my questions.

-Michelle

[Muslimah]

Michelle I must tell u u surprise me with your very opened opinions. But I like them all. Well Insha Allah later on today may be I will explain more to u. And make this a rule: No one minds u asking Michelle that is why we are all here including us Muslims. We are always in need to learn. Allah commanded us to do so.

Mash a Allah day dreaming of being a second wife.

[AbuNoran]

I'm very curious to know what the status of a second wife is in Islam. Does she live together with the first wife as a sister-wife? If I were to be a second wife this is the way I would want to live so that my home would be filled with peace and love! Do the co-wives help with the raising of children and keeping the house? [/quote:a55a99abc2]Michelle, your whole post describes a picture perfect polygamy in Islam, but [b:a55a99abc2]not[/b:a55a99abc2] now a days sorry to say.

Her status is exactly the same as the 1st, 3rd, or 4th.

According to Islamic Shariah, they can't live together, and the perfect example in that is our Prophet (SAAWS). Each of his wives had her own place to live in and be responsible about. They would all meet in one of the houses, but not live together. They all considered themselves sisters in Islam and loved each other and tried to win his (SAAWS) love more than the other :wink: , and he (SAAWS) loved them and treated them equally, except for our mother A'isha which he loved a bit more.

<blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="197" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div>My ancestors, the Crow Indians, would sometimes marry more then one wife and rank was assigned to each woman as she entered the family (first wife, second wife, and so on.) Does this happen to multiple wives in Islam or are they all equal?[/quote:a55a99abc2]They have to be treated equally, provided for equally, spend time with each equally and so forth.

<blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="197" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div>When the husband wishes to take a second wife does he discuss this with his first wife - and does he respect her feelings and her wishes if she cannot handle being a co-wife? It may be surprising that as an American I am open about polygamy - but I'm used to hearing about multiple wives through the oral traditions and stories of many tribes, including mine. When I was a child I would imagine being a treasured second wife in a happy village - something my other friends DEFFINATELY did not daydream about hahaha! But this just shows a difference in culture between me and my peers I suppose. [/quote:a55a99abc2]

Well its our right and women know it so before they didn't discuss it with their wives, and the wives never objected to it, but now a days, the woman usually says that she won't accept polygamy at all, and some ask to discuss it 1st, and some ask for divorce when it happens. :roll:

<blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="197" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div>What does the Qur'an say about multiple wives?[/quote:a55a99abc2]There are a lot of Ayat in the Quran that sets the rule for polygamy.

There is a whole Surah (chapter) in the Quran named An-Nisaa (women) and that surah pretty much covers all women issues. Here are some Ayat (versus) from that Surah (chapter)

An-Nisaa (Surah 4)

In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.

[1] O mankind! reverence your Guardian-Lord, who created you from a single Person, created, of like nature, his mate, and from them twain scattered (like seeds) countless men and women; fear Allah, through Whom ye demand your mutual (rights), and (reverence) the wombs (that bore you): for Allah ever watches over you.

[2] To orphans restore their property (when they reach their age), nor substitute (your) worthless things for (their) good ones; and devour not their substance (by mixing it up) with your own. For this is indeed a great sin.

[3] [b:a55a99abc2]If ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans, marry women of your choice, two, or three, or four; but if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one, or (a captive) that your right hands possess. That will be more suitable, to prevent you from doing injustice.[/b:a55a99abc2]

[4] And give the women (on marriage) their dower as a free gift; but if they, of their own good pleasure, remit any part of it to you, take it and enjoy it with right good cheer.

[127] They ask thy instruction concerning the Women. Say: Allah doth instruct you about them: and (remember) what hath been rehearsed unto you in the Book, concerning the orphans of women to whom ye give not the portions prescribed, and yet whom ye desire to marry, as also concerning the children who are weak and oppressed; that ye stand firm for justice to orphans. There is not a good deed which ye do, but Allah is well-acquainted therewith.

[128] If a wife fears cruelty or desertion on her husband's part, there is no blame on them if they arrange an amicable settlement between themselves; and such settlement is best; even though men's souls are swayed by greed. But if ye do good and practise self-restraint, Allah is well-acquainted with all that ye do.

[129] [b:a55a99abc2]Ye are never able to be fair and just as between women, even if it is your ardent desire: but turn not away (from a woman) altogether, so as to leave her (as it were) hanging (in the air). If ye come to a friendly understanding, and practise self-restraint, Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.[/b:a55a99abc2]

[130] But if they disagree (and must part), Allah will provide abundance for all from His All-Reaching bounty: for Allah is He that careth for all and is Wise. [/color:a55a99abc2]

Sahih Al-Bukhari:

Volumn 003, Book 044, Hadith Number 674.

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<span>Narated By 'Urwa bin Az-Zubair : That he had asked 'Aisha about the meaning of the Statement of Allah: "If you fear that you shall not Be able to deal justly With the orphan girls, then Marry (Other) women of your choice Two or three or four." (4.3)</span>

<span>She said, "O my nephew! This is about the orphan girl who lives with her guardian and shares his property. Her wealth and beauty may tempt him to marry her without giving her an adequate Mahr (bridal-money) which might have been given by another suitor. So, such guardians were forbidden to marry such orphan girls unless they treated them justly and gave them the most suitable Mahr; otherwise they were ordered to marry any other woman." 'Aisha further said, "After that verse the people again asked the Prophet (about the marriage with orphan 'girls), so Allah revealed the following verses: 'They ask your instruction Concerning the women. Say: Allah Instructs you about them And about what is Recited unto you In the Book, concerning The orphan girls to whom You give not the prescribed portions and yet whom you Desire to marry..." (4.127)</span>

<span>What is meant by Allah's Saying: 'And about what is Recited unto you is the former verse which goes: 'If you fear that you shall not Be able to deal justly With the orphan girls, then Marry (other) women of your choice.' (4.3) 'Aisha said, "Allah's saying in the other verse: 'Yet whom you desire to marry' (4.127) means the desire of the guardian to marry an orphan girl under his supervision when she has not much property or beauty (in which case he should treat her justly). The guardians were forbidden to marry their orphan girls possessing property and beauty without being just to them, as they generally refrain from marrying them (when they are neither beautiful nor wealthy)."[/color:a55a99abc2]</span>

<span><span>Volumn 007, Book 062, Hadith Number 043.</span></span>

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<span><span>Narated By Um Habiba : I said, "O Allah's Apostle! Marry my sister, the daughter of Abu Sufyan." He said, "Do you like that?" I said, "Yes, for even now I am not your only wife; and the most beloved person to share the good with me is my sister." The Prophet said, "But that is not lawful for me (i.e., to be married to two sisters at a time.)" I said, "O Allah's Apostle! By Allah, we have heard that you want to marry Durra, the daughter of Abu Salama." He said, "You mean the daughter of Um Salama?" I said, "Yes." He said, "By Allah ! Even if she were not my stepdaughter, she would not be lawful for me to marry, for she is my foster niece, for Thuwaiba has suckled me and Abu Salama; so you should neither present your daughters, nor your sisters to me."[/color:a55a99abc2] </span></span>

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[MichelleSeeking]

What impresses me about you all is that no one minds my billions of questions!!!

Thanks so much. There are so many interesting things to learn about Islam. Your faith is like a multi-facited jewel.

[AbuNoran]

What impresses me about you all is that no one minds my billions of questions!!!Thanks so much. There are so many interesting things to learn about Islam. Your faith is like a multi-facited jewel.[/quote:67c33872d0]

Islam is a complete religion Michelle, you will find an answer to all your questions about Islam and life within Islam.

Al-Maidah (Surah 5)

[3] Forbidden to you (for food) are: dead meat, blood, the flesh of swine, and that on which hath been invoked the name of other than Allah; that which hath been killed by strangling, or by a violent blow, or by a headlong fall, or by being gored to death; that which hath been (partly) eaten by a wild animal; unless ye are able to slaughter it (in due form); that which is sacrificed on stone (altars); (forbidden) also is the division (of meat) by raffling with arrows: that is impiety. This day have those who reject Faith given up all hope of your religion: yet fear them not but fear Me. [b:67c33872d0][u:67c33872d0]This day have I perfected your religion for you, completed My favour upon you, and have chosen for you Islam as your religion[/u:67c33872d0].[/b:67c33872d0] But if any is forced by hunger, with no inclination to transgression, Allah is indeed Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.[/color:67c33872d0]

Sahih Al-Bukhari:

Volumn 001, Book 002, Hadith Number 043.

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<span>Narated By 'Umar bin Al-Khattab : Once a Jew said to me, "O the chief of believers! There is a verse in your Holy Book Which is read by all of you (Muslims), and had it been revealed to us, we would have taken that day (on which it was revealed) as a day of celebration." 'Umar bin Al-Khattab asked, "Which is that verse?" The Jew replied, "This day I have perfected your religion For you, completed My favor upon you, And have chosen for you Islam as your religion." (5:3) 'Umar replied, "No doubt, we know when and where this verse was revealed to the Prophet. It was Friday and the Prophet was standing at 'Arafat (i.e. the Day of Hajj)"[/color:67c33872d0] </span>

[Muslimah]

Well Michelle I see that AboNuran beat me for it I was really getting ready to post the reply. And yes we never mind billion questions. Shoot. By the close guidance of Allah we shall find the answer if we don't know will tell u we don't know.

See I am a female and all what AboNuran said is correct Alhamdulelah. A man is allowed for polygyny up to 4 wives as u read in the vesres, under the condition of equal treatment. Other wise he is in trouble. But now, not in every country, women tend to find it difficult to accept. In Egypt for instance where I come from, men do it under cover. Unlike in the Gulf area they just go for it openly. No taboo. I think Ali on a different topic said the same taboo thing about Pakistan. But to tell u frankly, may Allah be Glorified, His Wisdom is beyond understanding. Polygyny is essential in order to maintain balance of the community in many aspects. I think here in Egypt we have been tooooo much affected by the Western ideas. The man/woman couple stereotype. When I became exposed to reverts community, I saw the wisdom of Allah in legalizing polygyny. Michelle, your ideas are sobhan Allah accepting the instinct of how Allah created us. May He really guide u and illuminate your way and heart. Hope I added something.

[AbuNoran]

Well Michelle I see that AboNuran beat me for it I was really getting ready to post the reply.[/quote:95c340e664] yes i did, lalalala :twisted:

Just kidding

You and I are the same sister.