wa aleikum salam
Quote:i think what i gather is that i should keep my muslim brothers and sisters as my friends.... and the kuffar as \"acpuaintances...\" maybe i can give them da'wah...
This is the wise way akhee. You give daw'ah and keep the boundaries.
Quote:The meaning about the not taking non-believers as friends, as what I was taught, was not to take them as friends OVER believers
This was not the way of the Prophet or the sahaba.
The Prophet sws said In an authentic Hadith,: <b>"A person is likely to follow the faith of his friend, so look whom you befriend."</b> (Abu Dawood and at-Tirmidhee)
In two other authentic narrations of the Prophet (s.a.w.) <b>we were commanded to keep company with a believer only. </b> (Bukhari and Muslim),
<b>And told that a person will be raised with those he loves</b>
(Abu Dawood and at Tirmidhee).
Ali (r.a.a.) said: <b>"Mix with the noble people, you become one of them; and keep away from evil people to protect yourself from their evils."</b>
<b>On the other side, a believer is the mirror of his brother"</b>(Abu Dawood- hassan), and if he sees any faults in the other believer, he draws his attention to it, helps him to give it up and helps him wipe away any evil that he may have. Ibn Hazm said: Anyone who criticises you cares about your friendship. Anyone who makes light of your faults cares nothing about you."
<b>And Allah, the All-Wise also says: "Friends on that Day will be enemies one to another, except al-Muttaqoon (i.e. those who have Taqwah)." [43:67] </b>
Hafidh Ibn Katheer, commenting on this verse, relates a story on the authority of Ali Ibn Abi Talib (r.a.a.) and says that any friendship for other than Allah is turned into enmity, except what was in it for Allah the Mighty and Majestic: Two who are friends for Allah's sake; one of them dies and is given good news that he will be granted al-Jannah, so he remembered his friend and he supplicated for him, saying: O Allah, my friend used to command me to obey You and to obey Your Prophet (s.a.w.) and used to command me to do good and to forbid me from doing evil. And he told me that I will meet You. O Allah, do not let him go astray after me, until you show him what you have just shown me, until You are satisfied with him, just like You are satisfied with me." So he is told: "Had you known what is (written) for you friend, would you have laughed a lot and cried a little." Then his friend dies and their souls are gathered, and both are asked to express their opinions about each other. So each one of them says to his friend: you were the best brother, the best companion and the best friend." And when on of the two disbelieving friends dies, and he is given tidings of Hellfire, he remembered his friend and he said: O Allah, my friend used to order me to disobey You and disobey Your Prophet, and commanded me to do evil, and forbade me from doing good, and told me that I would not meet You. O Allah, do not guide him after me, until you show him what you have just shown me and until you are dissatisfied with him just like You are dissatisfied with me." Then the other disbelieving friend dies, and their souls are gathered, and both are asked to give their opinions about each other. So each one says to his friend: you were the worst brother, the worst companion and the worst friend."
Also Ibn Qayyim explains that one of the sickness of the heart is keeping bad company.
We should be VERY careful the company we keep, even amongst muslims.
Would not the kuffar fall into this fourth catergory described by Ibn Qayyim?
Keeping Bad Company
Ibn Qayyim
Unnecessary companionship is a chronic disease that causes much harm. How often have the wrong kind of companionship and intermixing deprived people of Allâh's generosity, planting discord in their hearts which even the passage of time-even if it were long enough for mountains to be worn away-has been unable to dispel. In keeping such company one can find the roots of loss, both in this life and in the next life.
A servant should benefit from companionship. In order to do so he should divide people into four categories, and be careful not to get them mixed up, for once one of them is mixed with another, then evil can find its way through to him:
The FIRST category are those people whose company is like food: it is indispensable, night or day. Once a servant has taken his need from it, he leaves it be until he requires it again, and so on. These are the people with knowledge of Allâh-of His commands, of the scheming of His enemies, and of the diseases of the heart and their remedies- who wish well for Allâh, His Prophet saw and His servants. Associating with this type of person is an achievement in itself.
The SECOND category are those people whose company is like a medicine. They are only required when a disease sets in. When you are healthy, you have no need of them. However, mixing with them is sometimes necessary for your livelihood, businesses, consultation and the like. Once what you need from them has been fulfilled, mixing with them should be avoided.
The THIRD category are those people whose company is harmful. Mixing with this type of person is like a disease, in all its variety and degrees and strengths and weaknesses. Associating with one or some of them is like an incurable chronic disease. You will never profit either in this life or in the next life if you have them for company, and you will surely lose either one or both of your deen and your livelihood because of them. If their companionship has taken hold of you and is established, then it becomes a fatal, terrifying sickness.
Amongst such people are those who neither speak any good that might benefit you, nor listen cloesly to you so that they might benefit from you. They do not know their souls and consequently put their selves in their rightful place. If they speak, their words fall on their listeners' hearts like the lashes of a cane, while all the while they are full of admiration for and delight in their own words.
They cause distress to those in their company, while believing that they are the sweet scent of the gathering. If they are silent, they are heavier than a massive millstone-too heavy to carry or even drag across the floor. [1]
All in all, mixing with anyone who is bad for the soul will not last, even if it is unavoidable. It can be one of the most distressing aspects of a servant's life that he is plagued by such person, with whom it may be necessary to associate. In such a relationship, a servant should cling to good behaviour, only presenting him with his outward appearance, while disguising his inner soul, until Allâh offers him a way out of his affliction and the means of escape from this situation.
The FOURTH category are those people whose company is doom itself. It is like taking poision: its victim either finds an antidote or perishes. Many people belong to this category. They are the people of religious innovation and misguidance, those who abandon the sunnah of the Messenger of Allâh saw and advocate other beliefs. They call what is the sunnah a bid'a and vice-versa. A man with any intellect should not sit in their assemblies nor mix with them. The result of doing so will either be the death of his heart or, at the very best, its falling seriously ill.
[1.] Ash-Shâfî', may Allâh be pleased with him, is reported to have said, "Whenever a tedious person sits next to me, the side on which he is sitting feels lower down than the other side of me."
