Shall we really marry only for Allah's Sake

[imanov]

bismi-lLahi-rRahmani-rRahiem, alhamdu li-lLahi Rabbi-l'alamien wa-shshalatu wa-ssalamu 'ala asyrafi-lAnbiya-i wa-lMursalien, wa ba'd:

a-ssalamu 'alaikum wa rahmatu-lLahi wa barakatuH,

I think Islam is submission - it's not really peace, it's submission and the idea that peace comes from the submission to Allah Azza wa Jalla.

So, since we are muslim we have no choice, our lives are just for Allah, anything we do just for the sake of Allah !

Since we are muslim, our lives are ibadah !

anything incorrect is from me and the syaithan, while everything correct is from Allah Azza wa Jalla.

wa-lLahu 'alam bi-shshawab, wa bi-lLahi-ttaufiq wal-hidayah baraka-lLahu fiekum - wa shalla-lLahu wa-ssallamuH 'alaa Nabiyyina

Muhammad, subhanaka-lLahumma wabihamdiKa asyhadu alla Ilaha illa Anta, astaghfiruKa wa atubu ilaiK.

wa ssalamu 'alaikum wa rahmatu-lLahi wa-barakatuH.

[Muslimah]

Bismillah


Praise be to Allah, Rub of the Worlds King of the Kings Owner of the universe, prayer and peace be upon His Messenger Mohamed, his household and companions.


<b>"And among His Signs is this, that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find repose in them, and He has put between you affection and mercy. Verily, in that are indeed signs for a people who reflect." (Quran 30:21)
</b>


This Ayah occupied my mind since more than 8 years ago, I kept asking myself, Allah's promise is so clear and direct. Allah Say, and Truthful Is the Saying of Allah, He has put between you affection and mercy. I kept wondering to myself why do I see many marriages certainly lacking this important factor. Actually this is a basic aspect in any marriage. To be blessed with affection and mercy between the spouses.


Only two days ago, I thought that if the marriage was established based on what only Pleases Allah, then the promise of Allah shall be fulfilled.


Let me try and explain this in simple language. When one wants to meet day to day needs, including education, food, clothing, medical expenses, housing …etc. One has two options. Either work for it through legitimate means as Allah Commanded us to or steel, accept bribery, and a long list of illegitimate behaviour.


Do you expect the outcome of such illegitimate behaviour to be blessed from Allah, to sustain and bear more blessed fruit? Of course not, usually you see the relations in such families not stable, the person in trouble with the sin is always suffering a discomfort feeling, heavy chest, uneasy surrounding. Children are not blessed, not maintaining a kind attitude towards the parents as they are supposed to be. Like wise, even committed Muslims these days do fall into the trap of shaytan who decorates the idea of being in love before marriage. Making it almost necessary. When you talk to a committed girl who observes the Islamic dress code, she would tell you of course I want to marry a devout man, but I need to know him first, make sure we are compatible, make sure we think alike, take a grasp on his personality. She continues, do you expect me to marry someone I don’t know at all? They tend to forget that people go into relations for years, they even go to bed together and then marry and fail. Unless we go for the love that Allah Puts after marriage it cann't work. Actually, what happens is that Shyatan does put this firing feeling between the man and woman, blows it high enough to make it occupy their minds and hearts, they both turn to be center of attention of each other. The girl starts sitting on the couch eating pop corn with her friends and trying to analyze whether or not he is serious, O he texted me today, no he didn’t wake me up today. And here is him talking to his friend O she is devout she wakes me up for fajr, you think she really likes me, you think it is time to propose to her, or should I hold on more. But this does not exclude the possibility of them exchanging words like I missed you, I love you and so forth. This type of communication is certainly not accepted to Allah. Through this, they go for marriage. But of course with the love which was not instilled by Allah but rather by shaytan. In such case, Allah Leaves the couple in order to try and attain these feelings. Just exactly when you turn to other than Allah to handle any of your affairs.


What actually happens is that either parties feel a need to have been able to attract the other gender. This does not stand as legitimate base for marriage in Islam. Yes we must be attracted to each other, yes we must have a basic liking for each other, yes parents must take girls opinion whether or not she accepts the male as partner so is the male is encouraged to look for whatever may attract him in the woman so that she would be sufficient for him to lower the gaze so is the woman. But to turn this into a goal of how to attract, how to keep the person, how to strive to turn the relation into something serious. This would be wasting time and effort in what does not please Allah. No matter how long the couple get to know each other, marriage is totally different as a relation. Love and mercy comes only from Allah to the married couple not the unmarried who are involved in a relation.


And I assure you brothers and sisters shaytan is so clever to the extend that he can easily affect the most pious people. So just close the door, go for marriage, don’t fear lack of understanding because Allah Promised to put this between the married couple who approach this the way Allah Pleases.


Alhamdulelah Rubel a`lameen and prayer and peace be upon His Messenger

[Muslimah]

Let us even examine which word Allah Used to refer to the type of emotions Allah Instills between married couple. In Quran, Allah Did not Use the word Love (hub) but rather Allah Used the word Mawada (which is amicable and kindness). Mawada is also derived from Wud, which is to maintain contact and communication. But if we look where Did Allah Use the word Hub, we will be surprised. It is used when Allah Intends to blame mankind for being preoccupied with other issues than Allah:
" Say: If your fathers, your sons, your brothers, your wives, your kindred, the wealth that you have gained, the commerce in which you fear a decline, and the dwellings in which you delight, are dearer to you than Allah and His Messenger, and striving hard and fighting in His Cause, then wait until Allah brings about His Decision (torment). And Allah guides not the people who are rebellious." (Quran 9:24). The bolded word in the above noble Ayah in Arabic is Ahub so a more precise translation of the meaning would be more loved to you. Where else? Describing how the woman of Al Aziz was infatuated with Yusuf salla Allah a`lyhee wa sallam. Allah Say:
"And women in the city said: "The wife of Al-'Azeez is seeking to seduce her (slave) young man, indeed she loves him violently; verily we see her in plain error." (12:30).
Can you see the difference between the Divine expression of the type of emotions involved in marital relation and others. When Allah Used Hub, it was to refer to all worldly items that might capture a human beings heart including parents, children, ..etc. When the feeling was a reason for a woman to loose her mind and respect, and be determined to force a young man to commit Haram, again the word Hub was used. I m sure people would react saying, what are you calling for?? Are you saying that married couple should not love one another. On the contrary. But we should seek the type of emotions Allah told us He will instill. Mawada. There is much difference.