Holding hands in Public

[NaSra]

Asalamalaikum


I was just wondering why we muslims (most muslims) look a young couple who are holding hands like this [img]style_emoticons/default/mad.gif[/img] or like this [img]style_emoticons/default/wacko.gif[/img] or this [img]style_emoticons/default/dry.gif[/img]. Me and my husband are still newly weds and we are both very young alhamdulilah. The stares that we have recieved from Muslims is really amazing, people will stop what they are doing, the husband will tap the wife's shoulder as in "see this disaster". The Men will stand and watch us. With this look [img]style_emoticons/default/ohmy.gif[/img] . One time a group of Middle-eastern Guys came as a group to just look at us. Some of them had their hands on their mouth as in what a shame. Also because my husband is American European they automaticly assume that he's a kafir.


Me and My husband went somewherre with a friend of mine and her Brother & Mother. When we were saying salam and our day had ended, the Mother said to me, Oh I could almost feel how evil the people were thinking, you both are soo young, people assume that he's your boyfriend and that you are having a haram relationship with a nonmuslim. I said Alhamdulilah that they are not our judge.


Why do people always think of something disasterous when they see two young muslims who probably aren't of the same culture or nationality immediately people assume that we are upto no Good.


My cousin is married to a Bosnian Brother and mashaAllah she's 20 and he's 20. She's 6 months pregnant. She always tells me how people always give her the evils when they see them shopping together or anywhere else in public, and i'm not talking about non-muslims, i'm talking about Muslims. She was telling me how she believes in the evil eye and she fears that people's stares might cause her to fall or injure herself and lose her baby.

[radiyah]

Bismillah


I dont think any1 in the middle east will give a look, here in Kuwait if at shops or malls such a thing happen, we do not give it a big attention, we know that they are wed, especially if she is wearing hijab, i think the same is in all gulf countries, as well as lebanon and syria and so on. So this will leave the middle east out.


Anyways, do not care for their looks and thoughts, the most important thing is that u know that u r not doing anything wrong.


And let your cousin, read her morning prayers(Dua') before going out, Ayat Alkursi and mo'athateyn, and ikhlas three times, and insha'Allah nothing will hurt her. and also at night before sleeping. may Allah bless u and her asnd save u both from evil eyes.


Wasalam

[NaSra]

Asalamalaikum

Can you say what country this was in

New Zealand (most of these people who starre like that are people who migrated to NZ.

So this will leave the middle east out

I wasn't generalising the Middle east. I was telling about an incident, and at those incidents the biggest majority who starred happened to be middle-eastern men. I wouldn't be surprised that all were saudies.

Anyways, do not care for their looks and thoughts, the most important thing is that u know that u r not doing anything wrong

This hadith comes to mind "The muslim is the one who leaves that which doesn't concern him. I'm not the kind of a person who really cares what people think of me. [img]style_emoticons/default/smile.gif[/img]


But believe me it feels quite weird to have all of these people ogling & starring at you, as though you have 3 eyes or your the shortes man on earth or something. [img]style_emoticons/default/wacko.gif[/img]


Jezekelah khair for your Replies

[umm Zachariah]

Bismillah


Assalamu alaikum


Go on holding hands sister Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala knows why you do it, and it is good enough.


People always find a reason, I believe, to stare at whatever, if not other people so something else. Is it the human 'nature' [img]style_emoticons/default/blink.gif[/img] ?


You made me smile when you wrote weird, since that is how it makes you feel sometimes. My husband sometimes do ask people, that stare or comment, what is weird about me, do you think they stop staring [img]style_emoticons/default/rolleyes.gif[/img] ? It is very effective to 'confront' people. Ok it is much better to be patient and have sabr and not bother, but we are but human and sometimes it is TOO much [img]style_emoticons/default/cool.gif[/img]


May He ease matters for all of us and keep us on Sirat al Mustaqim, ameen.


wasalam

[Muslimah]

Bismillah


as salam alykom


Sobhan Allah, if we apply our religion this would not happen.


The hadeeth says what means of the excellence of one's religion is to leave what is not of one's concern.


Mash a Allah may Allah Protect both of u and all married couples

[Muslimah]

Bismillah


Forgot to tell u all something just as Radiyah said, this does not happen in the ME countries.


I saw couples holding hands and even arm in arm in Saudi Arabia, here in Egypt and many other places.


Sobhan Allah

[Yasmin]

Salams [img]style_emoticons/default/smile.gif[/img]


(long time no see)


back 2 the topic


I think what Intuitition is wondering is why the people stare like that esp among the muslims.


I think People don't mix alot in the arab countries, what i mean by that is (racially). Most people marry within their race so maybe thats why they look so weird.


And ofcourse Allah knows best but that seems to be a common thing.


One time in Canada there was a Somali Sister living there she was in uni. This saudi brother fell in love with her. he was born in canada. He ended up proposing to her, the sister didn't have any family in canada, most of her fmaily members were killed in somalia in the war, So he said to her come with me to saudi and meet my family. inshallah my fmaily will be your mahram. After refusing for awhile she gave in and went with him to saudi. when they came to his fmailies home to meet the family. He told them before hand that he's bringing a girl with him whom he wants to marry but he didn't tell them where she was from etc. When they entered the house, family members travelled from all over arabia to see the girl. When they saw her they all became shocked. they kept saying to him why did you bring us this? everyone started becoming unhappy and hysterical. Everyone kept saying to him, why would u marry her when you can have an arab woman who is light skinned. They looked down upon the girl. The Brother still wanted to marry her regardless of what his family thought, he kept saying to them: she is a good muslimah and I love her. He went over to the girl and he said to her forget them I'm going to marry you anyway. She however refused, she told him that she does not want this type of a fmaily to be related to a child that will come out of her body one day. The Young Sister took the next flight available back to Canada and left him and his family.


So I think it's not the holding hands itself that they are looking funny at it's everything else too, dont u think?

[radiyah]

Salams [img]style_emoticons/default/smile.gif[/img]
(long time no see)


back 2 the topic


I think what Intuitition is wondering is why the people stare like that esp among the muslims.


I think People don't mix alot in the arab countries, what i mean by that is (racially). Most people marry within their race so maybe thats why they look so weird.


And ofcourse Allah knows best but that seems to be a common thing.


One time in Canada there was a Somali Sister living there she was in uni. This saudi brother fell in love with her. he was born in canada. He ended up proposing to her, the sister didn't have any family in canada, most of her fmaily members were killed in somalia in the war, So he said to her come with me to saudi and meet my family. inshallah my fmaily will be your mahram. After refusing for awhile she gave in and went with him to saudi. when they came to his fmailies home to meet the family. He told them before hand that he's bringing a girl with him whom he wants to marry but he didn't tell them where she was from etc. When they entered the house, family members travelled from all over arabia to see the girl. When they saw her they all became shocked. they kept saying to him why did you bring us this? everyone started becoming unhappy and hysterical. Everyone kept saying to him, why would u marry her when you can have an arab woman who is light skinned. They looked down upon the girl. The Brother still wanted to marry her regardless of what his family thought,  he kept saying to them: she is a good muslimah and I love her. He went over to the girl and he said to her forget them I'm going to marry you anyway. She however refused, she told him that she does not want this type of a fmaily to be related to a child that will come out of her body one day. The Young Sister took the next flight available back to Canada and left him and his family.


So I think it's not the holding hands itself that they are looking funny at it's everything else too, dont u think?

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Such an incident does not have to mean that all saudi's are like that, i know many saudi's or kuwaiti's or any other middle east nationalty who mary african women, this racial descrimenation came to us first from the Jahliyah roots, and second from western communities, now every1 is fighting it and a few incident here or there is not a big problem.

But believe me it feels quite weird to have all of these people ogling & starring at you, as though you have 3 eyes or your the shortes man on earth or something. wacko.gif
Jezekelah khair for your Replies

Jazaky mithluh sister, and just dont give attention to that and walk as a proud muslimah. [img]style_emoticons/default/smile.gif[/img]


Wasalam

[NaSra]

Asalamalaikum


Yasmin I feel for the Sister in the story:( My heart goes out to her truly. Insha'Allah, Allah will give her something much better and more suitable.


Radiyah I'm sure all saudies aren't all like. And the ones who practise racism May Allah help them open their mind.


I hope for a day when the whole world will mix so much that new colours of humans will start developing like, orange people, and grey people. And maybe even green people. [img]style_emoticons/default/wink.gif[/img]


just jk

Jazaky mithluh sister, and just dont give attention to that and walk as a proud muslimah.

Thanks For the wisdom Radiyah. [img]style_emoticons/default/smile.gif[/img]


-Sister-Intuition-

[radiyah]

Bismillah

I hope for a day when the whole world will mix so much that new colours of humans will start developing like, orange people, and grey people. And maybe even green people. wink.gif

[img]style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif[/img][img]style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif[/img]