Why Did The Prophet Muhammad Marry Many Wives?

[Muslimah]

Bismillah


as salam alykom


Dan and Intuition I fully understood what meant may be the way I expressed myself was too brief as usual. What I was trying to present is the other aspects of polygny that sometimes people fail to look at. In some cases it is as I said a remedy for the woman who feels a strong attachment that could lead to minor shirk. Hope I conveyed the meaning this time.


Just to make sure I do see exactly what u mean, the rule is there, if u r equipped for it go ahead if not stay away lest u shoulder what u can not take.


I saw men going into polygyny and then saying I didnt know it is hard.

[Dan]

Bismillah


As Salam alaikum


Alhamdulillah. That is what I was trying to say. Subhannallah. Sometimes I worry how we will ever make it if we have so much trouble trying to communicate. It seems to me the vast majority of problems arise from a miscommunication. Is that not why intermediaries are used when trying to draw up peace plans between nations, when trying to help al-nashooz (did I get that right? [img]style_emoticons/default/smile.gif[/img] ), or when friends do not understand one another, as is the case some times here on the board.


I get worried because I am accountable before Allah. Alhamdulillah, He Knows my efforts... or lack there of... astaghfirullah. Insha'Allah the issue is clarified now.


As Salam alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatu

[Muslimah]

Bismillah


as salam alykom


Insh a Allah it has been always clear. Dont worry and no need to worry we will make in Insh a Allah. We dont have a problem of miscommunication. It is me and tendency to be brief. Sometimes I talk to cyber people thinking they already know me. Because those who know me in real life take this in consideration that I am brief. Sometimes also I just cover other aspects of the issue without referring that I do understand the other person's point but I am just covering other aspect.

[fearAllah247]

can anyone find it in the Qu'ran or sunnah that conditions of monogomy were put into a marriage contract? or that polygyny was allowed ONLY in extreme circumstances? or is the husband marrying another, a reason that allows for divorce of the first wife? its easy to follow our desires here, but the only condition Allah put on polygyny was that u treat your wives equally, and if unable to do so then limit yourself. so for intuitions husband if he fears he is unable to treat his wives equally, then it is for him to stick to one. and my husband, if he chooses to marry another i would not divorce him. it is not for me to say what is his ability or for me to take away his rights that Allah has given him. nor would i give up my rights. we need to be careful here, for our opinion has no place in islam.


sticking to the Qu'ran and sunnah is most important. to put a stipulation in a marriage contract that u cannot derive from qu'ran and sunnah is innovation. to say that polygyny is limited to extreme circumstances was not the practice of the prophet (SAW) or his companions, so to say this is to innovate new practices in islam that did not exist at the time of the prophet or the companions or the salaf. if they did practice this, could someone show me the proof for it? may Allah forgive me if i am incorrect.


so i guess some of u already said this, i am only emphasizing the importance of strictly adhering to Qu'ran and sunnah. we can never be careful enough not to deviate, and start following our desires which is so easy to do. may Allah make us of those successful in the hereafter, ameen. u can never ask yourself enough, what it is u truly want, the akhira or this dunya? well we all know what we want, but are our actions in accordance with the answer?

[fearAllah247]

don't get me wrong though sis intuition, i know it would be very very difficult for me to accept a cowife, but i have come to terms with the possibility, and inshaAllah would not allow this to come between my husband and i. i used to feel like u, but now i tried to see it in a different light after realizing it may become a reality for me one day. so inshaAllah i would try to make the best of such a situation, like getting along with the sister, and becoming friends with her for the sake of Allah.


oh, and forigive me for the above post about stipulating manogamy in a marriage contract. i just found this fatwa which i was unaware of. may Allah forgive me for speaking out of ignorance inshaAllah.


Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allaah have mercy on him) was asked this question and he replied in Al-Fataawa al-Kubra:


“Question: a man married a woman and she stipulated that he should not take another wife or make her move from her house, and that she could stay with her mother, so he married her on this basis. Does he have to adhere to this, and if he goes against these conditions, does his wife have the right to annul the marriage or not?


Answer: yes, these conditions and similar ones are valid according to the madhhab of Imaam Ahmad and other scholars among the Sahaabah and Taabi’een, such as ‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab, ‘Amr ibn al-‘Aas, Shurayh al-Qaadi, al-Oozaa’i and Ishaaq. According to the madhhab of Maalik, the condition states that if he marries another wife, (the first wife) has the choice of what to do, and this is a valid condition. The woman has the right to leave him in this case. This is similar to the idea in the Madhhab of Imaam Ahmad. The basis for this is the hadeeth narrated by (al-Bukhaari and Muslim) in al-Saheehayn from the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): ‘The most deserving of conditions to be fulfilled are those by means of which sexual intercourse becomes permissible for you.’ ‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab said: ‘Rights are in accordance with conditions.’ The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) dictated that the conditions which make sexual intercourse permissible are more deserving of fulfilment than others. This is the ruling on conditions of this nature.”


al-Fataawa al-Kubra, part 3, Kitaab al-Nikaah (www.islam-qa.com)

[Muslimah]

Bismillah


Jazaki Allah khairan fearAllah [img]style_emoticons/default/smile.gif[/img]

[radiyah]

Bismillah


Sister Muslimah, thanku for clarifying, but I really did not bring any of what I wrote from my own nafs or self, I provided ahadeetha and verses of Quran, The sahaba always used to emulate in marrying the Shuhadas wives or even divorced women, and so did The Prophet(PBUH), when he married our mother Umm Salama, or our mother Zaynab bint Jahsh after she was divorced from zayed. And i am not passing a judgement on any one, and it is not to me to say who's Iman is higher or who is entering heaven or hell, aotho Billah min thalik, This is Allah's Right and not mine and I hope that sister intuition understood what I meant now [img]style_emoticons/default/rolleyes.gif[/img]

Insha'Allah when Mr right comes along to marry me, I'm going to make my mehr and part of the marriage contract that he promises to always encourage me to be a better muslimah and to never re-marry while he's married to me.


any man who refuses to except that rule can forget about marrying me. [img]style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif[/img]


just being real


MasalamSister intuition

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Bismillah
"Insha'Allah when Mr right comes along to marry me, I'm going to make my mehr and part of the marriage contract that he promises to always encourage me to be a better muslimah and to never re-marry while he's married to me."


I dont know about the underlined sister yasmin, I never heard that before, that u have the right to put that condition, can u fortify that with a hadeeth or fatwa sister, to make sure that u can make such a condition, thanking u for that, then u will add new information to us.


Wasalam

Okay sister Yasmin, I asked about the above an azharete scholar who has PHD in Fiqh, Dr. Nadiya Hashim, she said a woman has the right to put conditions as much as she likes, but .. these conditions are not obligatory and he is not to abide by them if they are against share', and against what Allah has permitted, he can agree to these conditions, but if he then decided to maryy another one even after writing that condition, it is his right to because it is no ones right to stop a rule that Allah(SWT) permitted, and if then she chose for divorce or whatever she has the right as sister fearAllah has masha'Allah posted in fully.


she told us a hadeeth narrated by our mother Aysha(may Allah be pleased with her): Any condition that is not in The book of Allah is ineffectual, even if there is one hundred condition"






Another Hadeeth also narrated by our mother Aysha: Muslims are obliged to their conditions unless they forbid what is Halal, or permit what is haram"






She did not give us sannad and she was in a hurry, I will get it from her next time in Sha' Allah. Or if any of my brothers and sister can find the sanad before I get, it will be added to their scale of Ajr in Sha'Allah.


And Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'la A'la Wa A'alam


Wasalam

[Muslimah]

Bismillah


as salam alykom all


Dont know why this thread carries this much misunderstandings.


(I will not say I will ask for a divorce, because I know that if accept I am patient, and accept what He ordered me to do, then Allah will be Pleased with me and reward me for my patience in Jannah. <b>This is how true muslims should be, otherwise they are weak muslims</b>( sorry sister intuition. no offense, people differ, and this is how I c it to Please Allah)


Radiyah dear the underlined part is exactly what I was referring too. Because even if one does not take it and asks for divorce, still we can not label her as one of weak Eman. Just exactly as we can not lable a man who takes a second wife as doing this only for sexual pleasure. Only Allah Knows why a man takes a second wife, may be the man himself does not understand the wisdom behind it at the time.


So only the underlined part Radiyah is what I was referring too. Whatever action we do, is only measured by Allah. We can not say one who can versus one who can not take polygyny.


Polygyny and wisdom behind it is a vast issue just like any other issue in our life, but we just dont stand the way we do with polygyny on other matters.

[radiyah]

Bismillah


Thanku sister Muslimah, I know what u meant, and I did apologize for sister intuition because I did not mean to judge her eman, I was talking about myself, and in any way if any one felt offended I repeat my apology.


And the previous post was just to make clear also of the conditions of marriage and what is permissable or not.


I hope no one is offended, may Allah accept from me and forgive me if I was mistaken.


Wasalam

[Dan]

Bismillah


As Salam alaikum


"(I will not say I will ask for a divorce, because I know that if accept I am patient, and accept what He ordered me to do, then Allah will be Pleased with me and reward me for my patience in Jannah. This is how true muslims should be, otherwise they are weak muslims( sorry sister intuition. no offense, people differ, and this is how I c it to Please Allah)"


I just have to pop in here real quick. Okay, maybe not so quick.


The way that I am understanding some of my sisters is that it would be too great of a burden upon them to be a second wife. Does not Islam state that none will be burdened beyond their limits? Allah Knows best our limits but we do have some perception of our limits. That is why some of us can pray each night, some can fast every other day, and others can memorize Qur'an easily. Now is it fair to make these people do more if they cannot do it? Should the person who prays alot supposed to fast alot as well? I don't think so. Allah has soooo many ways to reach Him according to the Qur'an and sunnah. It is one of the beauties for me in Islam. If a woman can take being with another woman in a marriage then Alhamdulillah, she is getting ajr for this. If a woman knows that this is beyond her limits then she should not be looked down upon for not wanting to put herself in such a situation.


One of the ways in which shaytan tries to get us from Allah is to make us arrogant in our deen. If a woman knows that she would not be a good wife if another woman was also married to her husband, then shaytan might try to use this against her. By telling her that she is a weak muslim if she does not force herself to be in a situation that will cause fitnah, shaytan starts the steps to get this woman from Allah. Say now she is married to a man with another wife. She cannot control her jealousy well, as she suspected she would. She really tries to be good but it is just too hard to know that her husband, the man she loves, is also sleeping with another woman. Instead of this woman being in a marriage where she knows that her iman could be better, she is in a marriage where she knows her iman might get weaker.


I am not ever saying that having more than one wife is not allowed. 'Aoothu billah. I am just saying that everyone's relationship with Allah is very personal and only He and that person know the true nature of it.


As Salam alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatu