Why Did The Prophet Muhammad Marry Many Wives?

[Muslimah]

Bismillah


wow Mash aAllah I see a number of active members on this thread


ronniv just going back to my response


I didnt say we use common sense to realize that women are not allowed plural marriage. No I said since Allah Didnt specify this then it is not allowed


I just dont want to flood u with Ayahs' from Quran but Quran contains regulations on houses of relatives where are allowed to eat, when to take permission before getting into our parents room... and more.


I also advice u to run a search on polygny on this board as dan suggested on his pinned thread

[ronniv93]

Hey Muslimah,


I am doing as you and Dan mentioned... searching through "old" threads on polgyamy, polygyny and polyandry. I'll keep reading through them, but really... it's rather depressing to me.


Thread after thread, people are basically saying the same thing: That it all boils down to a man's hormones, as if he just can't control himself. Like I said before, having this view of man makes them no better than the beasts and animals of the earth. Is not marriage more than that?!?!?!


God created men and women DIFFERENTLY than he did animals, right? But this puts men on par with them!!! I just can't wrap my mind around that. I prefer the idea that there may be wars and a shortage of men to the idea that they are just so hormonally out of control that they can't help themselves.


Heck, with having to financially support all those wives and children, he probably won't have the energy to be with any one of them, realistically.


This is a very weak argument to me. Some women have very strong sex drives; what if her husband can't keep up with her?


Can she go to her doctor and get scientific evidence that her sex drive is way above average and then justify getting another husband to help satisfy her urges?


<b>No</b>


Islamically, I guess she'd have to divorce her husband and try again with the next one.


Whatever I may think about polygamy (for or against it), I will never accept this argument that a man's sex drive is a major factor in support of it.


Guess there's not much left for me to say on this topic....

[NaSra]

I had this belief a couple months ago before I got married, and here I am now again, "I will never ever marry a man who has wives or a wife, even if he is the last man remaining on the face on this world".


So now feel free to figure out how I'd feel if my husband married married another woman upon me.


I would not stop my husband from making his own decisions but I'll make mine too and thats not to wake up in that marriage another day again no matter how much I love him. In simple words, i will seek my divorce.


As I hear a lot, maybe its because I don't have Imaan, or maybe its because I need to do some maturing. Whatever it is, I'm passed the fact that ALlah made it Halal for men to have upto 4 wives, but keep in mind that its optional for us to agree or disagree.


I know how much it hurt my grandmother when my good ole grandpa decided to marry 4 women upon her. I am sorry but I won't cheer for polygyny.


AstaqfuruAllah

[Dan]

Bismillah


Once again, in reality and my understanding, polygamy is not allowed because men cannot control themselves. I agree with ron. This is not the true nature of a MAN. Maybe a male human but not a man. Let us face it. Some men think with their... anyway. On the other hand, I do not take these type of people seriously. It looks just like a lack of respect for themselves and others.


In MY understanding of the permissibility of polygamy, it is times of need. Islam is a more personal religion than most of the other worl religions, so the decision of whether or not the time is right is up to the individual. I am sure that I am opening a whole new can of worms but... Jihad is permissible in Islam but under certain conditions. Also, a person is also allowed to shorten their prayers in time of travel and times of danger and fear. The permission for this is not given and taken away by Allah or a scholar. It is for us to understand for ourselves when it is time to shorten the prayers. "Am I really travelling or is this just some short trip that is not really hindering my normal lifestyle? Am I really scared for my safety or am I just embarrassed to pray around certain people?"


I wish I had the exact hadith but one time the Prophet was out with his companions. He left them but told them not to pray the asr (3rd) prayer until they reached a certain destination. On the way, the prayer time was going to be missed if they did not pray right where they were instead of waiting to get to the destination. Some of the companions prayed immediately. Others waited until they reached their destination but they missed the prayer time. These companions went to the prophet and told him what they had done. He did not admonish either party, showing that both actions were acceptable.


My whole point (I think I am eventually getting there) is that it is up to each individual whether this is the time for polygamy. I think it is not. Just as Intuition stated, she will not be involved in such a relationship and neither would I. I do not see any of my sisters in religion suffering because there are not enough men nor in hardship because of it. Others may disagree, probably disagree.


Allah has told us that men cannot be unfair to their wives if they have more than one. Further more, we are told that this is impossible so it is better that we only marry one. Personally, I know that there is no way that I would be able to make sure that one of my wives would not feel neglected. In fact, I could see how each wife could feel slighted even though the man is trying his best to be fair. What a headache. Just one man and one woman in a marriage is difficult to handle at times. Why would anyone want to stress themselves more or greater than that make themselves even more accountable before Allah. That seems like loading up a bag too full. It would be nice if it did not break, but the likelihood that it will break is greatly increased.


To reiterate, men are not allowed polygamy because they just cannot control themselves. I agree to the ridiculous nature of this claim. I can control myself. The brothers who I know control themselves. I believe that this claim has become a cop out for men. The men who have more than one wife or want more than one wife use this as an excuse in order to take full advantage of what was made permissible under certain conditions by Allah.


This is all just MY understanding. May Allah Forgive me for anything that I have said incorrectly, if I have offended anyone, or if I am just flat out wrong.


Astaghfirullah.

[Muslimah]

Bismillah


Praise be to Allah and prayer and peace be upon His Messenger Mohamed


I really feel reluctant to participate on this thread again trying to find a verification for Allah’s Sharia’a. Let me first put something clear. Whatever on Allah’s Book is correct even though we don’t understand – due to the shortage of our knowledge and wisdom – the reason behind it. This whole thread turned into trying to find why? Why it is permissible because Allah Said so.


I agree with the concept Dan presented, yes not all men can not control them, but there are those who cannt and I don’t have to blame them, we are not the same, although may be Radiyah was brutally honest about the way she puts it, but it is a fact that a high rate of men either in the West or East are engaged in extra marital relations. Many heads of state have been found having illegal children. Now this is really beside the point. Also as Dan said it is allowed but not a must.


May be the point I am about to make is a totally different aspect of polygyny, but it is worth listening to.


The heat to Allah Is a major and most important organ of the human being, in a hadeeth the Messenger salla Allah a`lyhee wa sallam said what means that there is an organ in the body if it is sound the whole body becomes healthy and if corrupted the whole body goes corrupt and it is the heart. If u refer to Quran, in many positions Allah identifies the heart as the organ with which mankind comprehends, sees and understands.


When the heart becomes fully set or attached to other than Allah it turns blind and somber. No matter what this thing/ person is. Love in Islam has a totally different meaning. It is not about O I can not live without him/her no it is about we love everything thru our love to Allah. This way the earth is not taken off from under the feet upon the loss of anything. Why do u think singers, actors, or any other celebrities no matter what is the source of fame is get either depressed, suicidal when lights fade away? Because the heart was set on this source of satisfaction. I am not going off topic, no. In many cases, I don’t want to say all, of polygyny or let us say when a man walks away from any kind of relation with a woman and takes a replacement, the woman’s femininity is actually slaughtered. That is about everything. She feels not enough of a woman, why do u think u see women going out of their way to bring them back no matter what it takes? It is the female pride. Why he looked at her? What is with her that I don’t have? It is the self satisfaction issue. On the other hand sometimes a woman is so much attached to a man in a way that could lead to Shirk (minor shirk) shirk is taking associates with Allah. For the previously mentioned cases Allah Who Created us and Cares about our well being disciplines the person to bring him back to the correct path.


I am just giving examples, Allah Is not brutal but He rings bells when mankind’s well being is in jeopardy. The whole idea of ME ME ME is mostly behind women’s rejection to polygyny.


In some cases also there are women who really need to marry and simply can not find a chance to, because also of physical needs which are certainly natural. Why would I hold on one man who can provide a chance for another sister to also receive this right? Being a major responsibility on the man yes, but 3 of them can make it work, when I think that my sister needs a lot just like myself. The reasons are numerous we can never realize all of Allah’s Wisdom. I just liked to bring aspects that are not tackled.

[reepicheep]

radiyah wrote:


> And who could choose a lifestyle your husband


> having 10's of girlfriends behind your back...


Radiyah seems to be saying that all men need to have relationships with "10s" of women. If this is true, then I assume it applies to Muslim men as well as non-Muslim men?


Since Muslim men are limited to having only 4 wives, then I assume that they, too, have 10's of girlfriends, since a Muslim man would never be satisfied to have sexual relations with only 4 women at a time?

[lifutushi]

Radiyah seems to be saying that all men need to have relationships with "10s" of women. If this is true, then I assume it applies to Muslim men as well as non-Muslim men?

huh? "all men need to have relationships with 10's of women" ? i don't think Radiyah said this in her post. are you sure you can read and understand the post?

[Muslimah]

Bismillah


As salam alykom


Let us just hold on for a minute and think, Intuition why are u mad at your grandfather? What crime did he commit? He just used a right legalized to him by Allah. Just be careful before getting upset with him, he didn’t do anything more than what most of the companions did.


Let us not say the Messenger because his marriages were of a different nature. As for us Mulims, I just grow concerned when I see people trying to verify a part of Sharia. Your grandfather didn’t commit Zina he got married. Let us differentiate before getting upset with people. If u think about it Islamically not personally, if u for one minute think from the viewpoint of any 2nd wife, u will see a different angle of course.


As for the responsibility and difficulty of working out a relationship, we as Muslim must always seek Allah’s support and guidance in everything we do in general. Just look at the Prophets’ stories presented in Surat Hud, u will not find a single one of them attributing his success to himself but rather to Allah. U think a monogamous marriage could work without Allah's Help? U think any relation could sustain without Divine support? Plus when people dedicate the act to Allah for ex when a man takes the intention in re marrying to help, support, provide for a Muslim sister, u think Allah Shall let him down? I don’t think so. Not Allah Whom we all know.

[NaSra]

Well...........~sighs~


I used to remember when polygamy was for honourable reasons and done with the utmost intention and goal to please Allah and relieve the growing Muslim community by helping widowed, divorced, and unmarried women past their age.


Now that’s a great reason to maybe give the practice a thought. It is an allowed practice, but for extreme reasons and it is not encouraged in Islam, I don't even want to get into too much detail on this, since Dan has already summed that up so well.


Some people need to stop questioning a woman's Iman when she refuses to share her husband. People are not automatically charity currency.


Muslimah, About my grandfather, I am not mad at him insha'Allah. I wish he didn't hurt my grandmother when she needed him the most and was pregnant with his first child. I can't even imagine being in that situation, just thinking about it does unpleasant things to me (it hurts) I shouldn't have brought it up in the first place.

U think any relation could sustain without Divine support?

I'm passed the fact that its all Halal for Men, Whatever rocks their boat.

Plus when people dedicate the act to Allah for ex when a man takes the intention in re marrying to help, support, provide for a Muslim sister, u think Allah Shall let him down? I don’t think so. Not Allah Whom we all know

The truth is the majority of men who have multiple wives don't even meet the standard thats required of them whether its emotionally, physically or financially. Sometimes it seems as though all they've ever learned of islams permisability for polygamy is only "the fact that they are allowed to" They just don't seem to get passed that. There is more to it than just that!

She feels not enough of a woman, why do u think u see women going out of their way to bring them back no matter what it takes? It is the female pride. Why he looked at her? What is with her that I don’t have?

How else is a normal functioning red blooded woman supposed to react? "don't look at me now" ~goes ducking~

On the other hand sometimes a woman is so much attached to a man in a way that could lead to Shirk (minor shirk) shirk is taking associates with Allah.

<b>"And among His signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in peace and tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): Verily in that are signs for those who reflect" (Quran 30:21). </b>



and KhaaLaas insha'Allah enough gushing from me


AstaqfuruAllah

[umm Zachariah]

Bismillah,


Dear sister Intuition ,


This may not be the most easiest subject to discuss, but also it is important to do so. Since it is something permissable in Islam. But I am sure we all agree on that it is permissble, it is not standard and it is not fard. It should be used when there is 'no other solution'.


You wrote,


*The truth is the majority of men who have multiple wives don't even meet the standard thats required of them whether its emotionally, physically or financially. Sometimes it seems as though all they've ever learned of islams permisability for polygamy is only "the fact that they are allowed to" They just don't seem to get passed that. There is more to it than just that!*


I think that is a very important point, that there may be men that misuse this guidance from Allah, Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala. And it is also therefore they are warned in the Qur'an NOT to take another wife if they cannot live up to that equality, to treat their wives totally similar when it concerns emotions, physically and financially. Most men I think are not strong enough to do that. And it is SO IMPORTANT not to forget that this committment is a TRUST from Allah, Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala, you cannot go into such a marriage if you do not FEAR Him. If it is just for the physical part, then it is NOT committing to what Allah, Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala has described. But I believe that men that truly FEAR Allah, Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala and do marry for ALL the right reasons, will surely be supported by Him to be able to take on this great responsibility.


Wasalam umm Z