God Has Called Me...

[Anyabwile]

First off apologies if i've posted in the wrong section, i feel it's polite to introduce myself before i join in the discussions. Please delete/move my post as you wish, i don't use internet forums and i may have posted wrong in the wrong forums etc despite reading the FAQ. I just need to express how i'm feeling somewhere, and maybe receive help and guidance. I can't explain how i feel right now...please forgive my ramblings but i have no one at all to speak with this on.


Islam came to me out of the blue. I've previously been an agnostic and the warmth, and overwhelming pull i've been feeling toward Islam over the last five days has been quite suprising and unlike anything else i've ever felt in my life, non stop constantly on my mind for the past few days, non stop, i've started thinking about god, it feels like my head is filled with a screen of endless data and the text is unreadable it's all blurring through my head so fast, it's so constant and so busy in my head right now. All the thoughts are of god, to hear myself say this to me, is truly insane, and this has only hit me the last five days. I don't know why now i should be feeling this warm pull toward god as opposed to any other point in my life, as religions of any kind have never touched me. In fact, at the point of my life now is when it would seem, for want of a better word inconvienient to change my life (on the verge of a major music deal) I've never been religious, or even thought of it. The impact this has had on me is so strong, and so unexpected and literally physical it can't be denied, but accepting this is very scary. The world has always been for the past 25 years viewed from one perspective for me, to have this literally upturned in a day is too immense and i know this is how other new Muslims feel, exactly the same, thus i am here.


I intially investigated Islam because i wanted to see why Allah accepted slavery. I am a African British male, Agnostic, and read a book by Ronald Segal called Islams black slaves for reasearch into a piece on African/Black history i was writing. Even if god said be nice to slaves, i didn't understand why it was even accepted by the allmighty, it didn't make sense. I read an explination which opened my eyes, and it continued from there...then i got to science and the Quran, once i read in detail the unexplainable, absouloutely astounding science in the Quran, there was no way at all to go back, a door was opened. If anyone reads in detail on the science and the Quran and still rejects Islam after this, to my personal eyes, they must be mad. I haven't even read the Quran fully yet, but this is the way, the route god picked me, through science and proof of his almighty power of creation. I've never wanted to embrace a religion, never been interested, but my studies bought me to Islam, to it's science and to a total belief in God. It seems like the natural way to live, it's all actually explained and proven in this book, i find it hard to accept anyone who has read this, the science in particular, can then turn away.


I don't know why now Islam and God are calling me now, and i still have many questions i need to ask about Islam, i hope i can ask here. questions regarding the status of women which concern me, and the existance of the devil etc. Please be patient with me as 25 years of walking around never knowing god and then within literally a day being struck with the most beautiful warmth i've ever felt, such as to bring me to tears is very very very frightening, i've been holding it all in for the past five days and i'm gonna burst soon!! I've been a solid Agnostic or to be honest probably Athiest for the last 25 years, up until the last five days, in which time i've read almost more about islam in such a short time, than i've ever read about one thing in my life.


How am i going to tell my girlfriend of six and a half years i love so much, who i think inside fears Islam. What am i going to do with everything ive done to get me to this point in my music career for the past however many years...and all my life really. To me disposing of what i've done musically now feels like the smallest chorse, but it will hurt so many people. I know none of you here can really answer these for me, and i know every non muslim who god reaches out to feels this way, i just hope someone can guide me. I havent even pronounced the "Shahada" yet. Or told anyone i know.


Thanks for bearing with me...sorry for the rambling

[Muslimah]

Peace to u Anyabwile


If u call any of what u typed here is rambling then what is sensible posting can be? if u have any doubt that we will be more than patient with u, then we dont deserve Allah's blessing of being Muslims Alhamdulelah.


Although I am not a revert myself, but I exactly know how u would be feeling or any other person in your position. But dont forget that Alhamdulelah for Allah's blessing of calling u, others spend their whole life in vain.


So if u have any questions feel free to ask them, about women position, if u browse the forum Insh aAllah u will find plenty of info.


About what is waiting if u take Shahada, dont overwhelm yourself with this, take things step by step, because if u step towards Allah one step He comes closer an arms length, if u forward an arms length, then Allah comes closer the full arm lenght (equal to the distance starting from shoulder to hand), if u forward towards Allah walking Allah Shall come to u running. It is all metaphoric of course meaning that the more u strive to come closer to Allah, Allah Shall help u out and pick u from whereever u r. So take it step by step, if u feel u r totally ready, knowing that there is only One Deity Who is Worthy to Worship, Mohamed is His final Messenger and Prophet, Quran is the word of Allah. Then simply take Shahada


We will be more than happy to help u more during this journey soon to be called brother

[Anyabwile]

Thank you so much for your words, you don't know how much i appreciate them. Thank you for offering to answer my questions too, i feel i will have many many questions outside of those i find the answers for myself with my own research. There's just so much. Thank you again for the warm words.


Peace.

[wel_mel_2]

Salam Anyabwile,


you really touched my heart..


welcome to your forums and please as sister Muslimah mentioned feel free to ask whatever question comes in your mind concerning Islam.. and May Allah guide us in answering your questions INshaa Allah.


take care and May Allah open your heart to his right path, Ameen.


Salam

[NaSra]

Asalamalaykum


First of all Anyabwile we extend the warmest of welcomes to you, and offer our congratulations for the new direction you are about to take. May Allaah protect you from all evil.


Something about your story is so beautiful and genuine, reading it really touched my heart so deeply that I have tears flowing from my eyes; it seems as though you are one step closer to becoming a Muslim. Allah knows better than you do what is good for you and what is bad for you. He has a plan for you, and His Love and Mercy is so great that your only choice is to trust in Him and submit to His Will. Sometimes you won't like what you’ll face. Life gets sometimes "ugly & difficult" I’ve seen it happen to people that mean a lot to me. It is hard, it is scary, and it is messy. Nothing comes gift wrapped with a bow on top. Islam reminds us that this short, messy, hard and beautiful life is short. The life after this one is what counts! The goal is Heaven, Paradise, Jennah. My close friend, who became a Muslim a few years ago, faced all kinds of hardship. The worst was when her mother kicked her out of her home but better and more beautiful was what Allah had in store for her. Allah gave her so much more, then what she had suffered. She visits her mother now as often as she can, she is married now and she has a beautiful son. She’s an inspiration to me, it’s a great example that if you really go overboard for what you believe in you’ll not drawn. You’ll make it through. You are following the true guidance. Bear this with patient perseverance, for you are on the right path of truth. And Allaah is the Source of strength. May the Peace of The Creator and His Blessings be upon all who enter this forum in the search for Truth and Knowledge, I pray that Allah (The God, Creator) guides you as I pray that he will guide me to be of those who will be in the company of the righteous in the hereafter. As my brothers and sisters have told you, we are ready to help you in everyway we possibly can, so ask whatever it is you wish to know.

[Dan]

Bismillah


I converted to Islam over five years ago. It has been the best decision that I have ever made, even though I really feel that Allah Made the decision for me by picking me out of so many people to be blessed with this wonderful religion.


I completely understand your fears, especially in the world today. I converted before terrorism was such a buzz word and "everywhere." One must remember that during the Salem Witch Trials here in the US that over fifty women in one village alone were convicted of being witches. You will always find what you are looking for. Communists were once the big threat to America also. Crack used to be the big worry in the US, then ecstasy, and now meth is the big drug. Is crack no longer a problem? No. We are just looking for different "demons."


I digress. I will not lie to you and say that converting is a total piece of cake but Allah Makes it easy for those who are patient and truly love Him and want to please Him. I have given up a wife for my religion. I do not regret my decision in the least.


As Muslimah says though, take it one step at a time. I have found that when I think too far ahead that I get unfocused on the present. Allah Will Take care of the future. Just put your trust in Him today.


I look forward to hearing more from you. If you have any questions that you feel too embarrassed to ask in public for any reason, please pm me and I will do my best to answer your questions, Insha'Allah.


Peace

[naseeha]

Hey anyabwile.


If i may be as bold to say. we all here are willing to help. i am pretty confident that you will find us very helpful.


Just give us a holla whenever u have a question.. even if we cant answer it i am sure we know someone who can..


peace to you Anyabwile :

[Muslimah]

Peace Anyabwile


Alhamdulelah I am sure u will start feeling among a family, O I still didnt get a bunch of questions, shoot man shoot we are waiting all. Go ahead work us out we need to be kicked to work

[Anyabwile]

Peace Anyabwile
Alhamdulelah I am sure u will start feeling among a family, O I still didnt get a bunch of questions, shoot man shoot we are waiting all. Go ahead work us out we need to be kicked to work

Thank you hahaha the questions are coming, i'm currently reading the truly excellent thread here http://www.islamsms.com/bb/index.php?s...opic=1559&st=90 it's taking all of my morning up but i can't stop reading it. I've noted down many questions i have and good points i want to review. However it seems simple and plain fact to me now, that we have the words of god in front of us. Which is still in a way unbelivable and still a massive thing for me to accept, that in a physical form the Quran...god speaks. Yet the signs tell me without a doubt he does. This made me cry like a baby yesterday and im a big strong dude who doesnt do that It's just powerful and scary to have it confirmed god exists. I've instantly started acting different because i know he watches. This difference has made me a calmer person, and much happier already.


I used to hold very strong Black Activist views, and although i still feel the same as i want justice for my people, the venom and aggresive feeling i have toward other races has, gone, just gone. For me (malcolm x pictures etc on the wall) thats a very powerful thing to happen. In less than three days, i've changed since i felt Allah. The anger i feel toward white racists how i used to feel, is now replaced with almost sorrow for them. Because i know how Allah views those who have done what they did to my people. I feel sorry for them and hope they can embrace Islam.


Anyway once i have trawled through the forums, i will make a post with my questions very soon, where would be best to do this as a new Muslim? which forum? or should i post the questions here in this thread now. Bear in mind i now know the Quran is the word of God this was shown to me first through Science and fact that god presented to us in the Quran, and now as time goes on, his love his words and his compassion for us, words which have suprised me, the love. You always get the impression, well i did before i embraced Islam that Allah was this very scary horrible god (yes a seperate god) that will send us all to hell and almost despises puny humans. I don't mean to offend, thats whats prsented to western eyes like mine. But it's the exact opposite, Allah wants us to go to paradise, thats why he tells us how to get there and how to live our lives, then if he is willing, we will enter. He's actually helping us, so eveyone who can must get that call i imagine, it's just their choice. I got mine so recently i cant belive how i feel, i'd expect to feel like this after say 10 years of studying Islam, but after a few days? That's too powerful to ignore.


I will also pronounce Shahada tonight, and learn what i need to do from then to please and serve God from then forth. In less than i'd say three days i've changed from non beliver to beliver..it was the Science, then his words, then immense belief and realization. I just need questions answered because i seek knowledge and i'm still a baby to this, who hasn't read the Quran, only selected sections.


Then of course i have to announce this to my loved ones who simply won't belive me i think. I don't belive how i feel and how strong it has felt, to feel this pull but it's happening and i see now why Islam is so powerful. I'm still proper nervous about telling everyone, and saying goodbye to my career. I owe so many people so much for helping me progress in my career in music, but it just seems so pointless now. I'm not interested in what i used to do, especially my words.


Anyway i'm er..going off on one again...i will be back with my questions in a day or so, probably tonight. Thank you for the welcome, i've been to three Islam forums and this is the only one that has embraced me, maybe god guided me here for my knowledge? I don't know, but i will try to answer as many as i can myself by searching these forums first, then i will present my first (of millions) to you all. Thanks for speaking with me!!! and putting up with my endless text!!

[Muslimah]

as salam alykom brother to be


Sobhan Allah, your post touched me deeeeeeeply really Sobhan Allah how the closeness and realization of Allah can change people.


Allah u Akbar so u r planning Insh a Allah the big moment tonight. just after pronouncing shahada make as much dua (ask Allah for things) as this moment when one reconciles with Allah is soooo special in the eyes of Allah, u dont know how it is celebrated by angles and how Allah Is Happy with the return of His Creation to Him Alhamdulelah who guided u for this, and I am so pleased as everyone else I expect that our little family made a difference to u.


U go ahead go back home and enjoy your new life.