Why Did The Prophet Muhammad Marry Many Wives?

[umm Zachariah]

Bismillah,


''Islam is only talking about money in the marriage.''


I don't think that statement is quite true, ONLY, but it is also a part of life. Somehow one has to support a family, we cannot live of air simly. And there will be no doubts about who has the responsibility. Allah, Subhanahu wa Ta'ala has given the guidelines. Masha'Allah such a straight path, no questions has to arise about who has to do what.


''And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): verily in that are Signs for those who reflect.''
The Qur'an 30:21


''And Allah has made for you mates (and companions) of your own nature, and made for you, out of them, sons and daughters and grandchildren, and provided for you sustenance of the best: will they then believe in vain things, and be ungrateful for Allah's favours?''
THe Qur'an 16:72


''O mankind! reverence your Guardian-Lord, who created you from a single person, created, of like nature, His mate, and from them twain scattered (like seeds) countless men and women;- reverence Allah, through whom ye demand your mutual (rights), and (reverence) the wombs (That bore you): for Allah ever watches over you.''
The Qur'an 4:1

[Muslimah]

Bismillah


Praise be to Allah and prayer and peace be upon His Messenger Mohamed Ibn Abudllah


May Allah Support me to tackle this point as correct as possible.


Actually ronniv u brought up an excellent question


Now Quran is a manual of life that we must abide by. It contains dos and donts and how to and when. Having this said, Allah certainly Is very precise when addressing mankind in order to put the limits clearly.


In making the commands Allah Used several forms according to the situation such as in:


“O ye who believe! fasting is prescribed to you as it was prescribed to those before you, that ye may (learn) self restraint,” (Quran 2: 183)


“And be steadfast in prayer and regular in charity: and whatever good ye send froth for your souls before you, ye shall find it with God: for God sees well all that ye do.” (Quran 2:110)


“So establish regular Prayer and give regular Charity; and obey the Apostle; that ye may receive mercy.” (Quran 24:46)


As u can see this is a ritual and the command is addressing those who believe collectively since the above mentioned Ayahs contained worship related commands that are enjoined equally on men and women. I just gave u examples not to prolong the post.


On other positions Allah Say :” For Muslim men and women, for believing men and women, for devout men and women, for truth saying men and women, for men and women who are patient and constant, for men and women who humble themselves, for men and women Who give in charity, for men and women who fast (and deny themselves), for men and women who guard their chastity, and for men and women who engage much in God's praise, for them has God prepared forgiveness and great reward.” (Quran 33:35) Can u note the difference in the command, here Allah Is Addressing men and women equally because these are things that not every one can do and we must be encouraged for to finally attain the great reward. There are many other similar positions as well but I am trying to get u the point with the shortest manner


As for the donts look here:” Say: come, I will rehearse what God hath (really) prohibited you from: join not anything as equal with him; be good to your parents; kill not your children on a plea of want; we provide sustenance for you and for them; come not nigh to shameful deeds, whether open or secret; take not life, which God hath made sacred, except by way of justice and law: thus doth he command you, that ye may learn wisdom.” (Quran 6: 151)


The address also is general for men and women as u can see.


However when Allah Made polygyny as lawful Allah only addressed men Saying:” If ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans, marry women of your choice, two, or three, or four; but if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly (with them). then only one, or (a captive) that your right hands possess. that will be more suitable, to prevent you from doing injustice.” (Quran 4:3)


U will probably say but what does this mean? As u can see when the commands involve Muslims in general Allah Clearly Says so, like wise when the prohibition involves both genders.


But as far as polygyny Allah Stated it clearly for men, if it was allowed for women, the Ayahs would have included it as well in a clear and direct manner.


As why I think Umm made a response the issue of lineage is very important, it is even logical that a woman can not decide the father of a child if she is involved in a multi sexual activities.


Hope I helped


May Allah Accept

[ronniv93]

Muslimah,


Yes, your post did help. Thank you.


This whole thing started up (<i>with me anyway</i>) with the article that was quoted that somehow was trying to use the Bible to justify polygamy by citing examples of Biblical characters who were engaged in it.


Simply because people DO or DID something, though, does not mean that it is something acceptable or recommended. It's never quoted from the Bible (from Muslims) how these people suffered all kinds of issues and problems DUE TO these plural marriages or how some even DISOBEYED GOD by doing this.


So, bottom line on this is that the Bible is not supportive of plural marriage just because some people did it. The ideal marriage is between 1 man and 1 woman.


If Islam allows for more than that, then that's Islam. But what does the Bible have to do with that? Nothing, as far as I can tell.


-------------------


The main thing I have read about why multiple husbands would be a problem is: 1) Common Sense and 2) Identifying the father.


- So from a Quran standpoint, there is nothing specifically stated saying, "Yes, women can be involved with polyandry" or " No, women cannot."


Using just basic human reasoning, one could argue that common sense tells you that having multiple wives is a bad idea. 1 man having to bear the financial burden of up to 4 wives and let's say 2 children each??? What a nightmare! Who makes THAT kind of money? Not many people.


Also, marriage is about more than sexual relations. It's personal and emotional intimacy. How can that truly be developed when you have all these wives and children involved? From my own personal experience, it can be a challenge just for 2 people to REALLY develop a deep understanding, love and trust for one another. Between work, church involvement, visiting with family and friends, household chores, paying bills, exercising, grocery shopping, etc., etc.... we often have to MAKE time just for us to sit and talk or watch a movie together. It takes work to learn one another.


I cannot imagine this working at all in a plural marriage relationship. To me, the "relationships" would be very basic, at best. Heck, with all those wives involved, he'd probably have to work 2 or 3 jobs just to support them. And even if he didn't, how does he have time to be there emotionally OR physically for each and every wife?

As why I think Umm made a response the issue of lineage is very important, it is even logical that a woman can not decide the father of a child if she is involved in a multi sexual activities.

These days, it's a simple blood test that could determine that.


Or they could even PLAN to have a baby so for a month or so, she's only with 1 husband.... long enough to determine that she's actually pregnant. That's a simple way of handling it. But again, a blood test would do as well. With multiple husbands, I'm sure they could even afford a DNA test.


If this idea sounds sick to you, why does it not also sound sick for a man to sleep with 1 wife tonight, the 2nd wife tomorrow, back to the 1st wife the next night, and then wife 3 on the following night?


Who would choose such a lifestyle of sharing your husband with someone else?


If someone here is in a polygamous marriage, I'd love to hear their side of the story. Or even if you'd LIKE to be in such an arrangement, PLEASE let me hear your story.

[radiyah]

Who would choose such a lifestyle of sharing your husband with someone else?

And who could choose a lifestyle your husband having 10's of girlfriends behind your


back, do u bear that ronni ? This is what is actually happening in the western society, u


cannot deny that can u? It is man's nature, he was created that way some are pleased


with one others need more than one, we cannot change that can we. ?


Peace

[umm Zachariah]

Bismillah,


A thought to this with DNA. If I look at this from the Islamic point of view, there is no need for bloodtesting to figure out who the father is, since Islam does not permit a women to have several husbands. And this kind of bloodtesting is done to find out who the FATHER is, not the mother, for obvious reasons.


But on the other hand it seems to be a need that has accured outside Islam, since many are practising, not marriage only, but either a combination of marriage and other men and women or even of the same sexes outside the marrige, like a combination, one legal and one or several unlawful, so the need has arisen to find out who is who, who is the father of a child.


So sad but a fact. True and sincere morality is truly a missing ingredient in society today. So therefore among other things, DNA is needed to fulfill knowledge of immorality ('who is the father').

[lifutushi]

Who would choose such a lifestyle of sharing your husband with someone else?


If someone here is in a polygamous marriage, I'd love to hear their side of the story. Or even if you'd LIKE to be in such an arrangement, PLEASE let me hear your story.

i can't say that i'm in a polygamous family, but some of my friends do. i still remember during my primary school years when i have to cycle 2 miles from school to home. sometimes it's already late at night. i remember one of my friend always mocking on me saying " i don't have to cycle home like you because i have another 'mother' living nearby, i'll go n sleep at her place tonight". he's happy to have another 'mother' ( his father second wife) and both of the wives like each other. i haven't heard of any problem in their marriages yet.


it just that you can't understand something you just read from somewhere. you've got to see for yourself. i'm not saying that i'm going to practice polygamy, why would i? but it isn't that bad. it's not encouraged, yet it's not forbidden.

[ronniv93]

<blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="2516" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div>Who would choose such a lifestyle of sharing your husband with someone else?

And who could choose a lifestyle your husband having 10's of girlfriends behind your


back, do u bear that ronni ? This is what is actually happening in the western society, u


cannot deny that can u? It is man's nature, he was created that way some are pleased


with one others need more than one, we cannot change that can we. ?


Peace

</div></blockquote>

So, what you're saying radiyah, is that there are only 2 possibilities when it comes to marriage:


1) Let the man legally marry more than 1 wife


OR


2) He'll marry 1 wife and then have women on the side (i.e. affairs)?


Radiyah, your question is based on propaganda. Every man is not engaged in adulteress affairs. And no, I <b>DO NOT BEAR</b> my husband having "chicks" on the side. He would never do that to me. He loves me and he understands that we have a <b>COVENANT</b> relationship together that is not based upon sexual intimacy alone. He understands that GOD called us to be together and that He puts himself right in the path of God's wrath if he commits adultery.


Whenever we have problems or challenges in our marriage, he brings them out so we can talk about it and fix whatever is wrong or needs improvement. He comes home every night and we wake up together every morning.


You know, I give men more credit than you apparently do. To say that men are polygamous by nature... that they can't help themselves..... that is to put them on the same level as dogs, goats and horses. Men are not mere animals with no reasoning or thought processes.


If I believed men were no better than dogs in heat, I'd never want to be married in the first place. It is <b>NOT IMPOSSIBLE</b> for a man to be committed to 1 woman. Adam was with only Eve, right? If it were true that it is "man's nature", then like I said earlier, God would have created Adam, Eve, and 2 or 3 other women, too. <b>BUT HE DIDN'T</b>. Everything was perfect when God first created it. Funny that that perfection didn't include multiple wives for Adam.


Muslims also promote the fact that Muhammad was committed to Khadijah only for what.... 25 years, right?


Men do what women allow them to do. If we excuse the behavior, they'll just continue to do it.


And you didn't answer my question: Would you like to be in such a plural marriage yourself? And don't give me this, "I'd prefer that over him having mistresses". NOT ALL MEN DO THAT! Therefore, you need to tell me, if you had the choice, would you choose to be his ONLY WIFE or share him with other women? Which is it?

[ronniv93]

lifutushi,


Okay, so in the example you gave, it's not horrible, apparently a "good" thing for the child involved.


Honestly, though, neighbors or a grandmother, an aunt could provide the same thing. Somewhere safe for the child to go after school.


I would just, personally, never choose such a lifestyle of the man "cycling" through 1 wife after the other.

[Dan]

Bismillah


I am going to say something that might have already been said but I am too lazy to reread over this thread. Sorry.


Number 1 is that polygamy is only allowed. It is not even encouraged. Men are told that they can have up to four wives but they must treat them all equally and not according to the man's perception but rather the wives. On the Day of Judgement, the man's wives will be asked if he was fair to them. So the man is accountable before Allah. As the permission for polygamy is given and that all wives must be treated equally, it is also immediately stated that it is impossible to do this so it is better to just have one wife.


Back in the Prophet's time as been stated, men were the ones who mostly made the money. If a woman's husband died, there was no women's shelter, no government programs to provide for these women. Looking at the wives that the prophet had, one can see that most of them were married for political ties and to support women who had lost husbands. In times of war, men are usually the ones who are in scarce supply. One only has to look at the times of war with which we are familiar to observe this phenomenon. In my little insignificant opinion, it seems that having a husband who not only gives financial but also emotional and physical comfort some of the time is better than having no one at all.


Allah Forgive my shortcomings.

[ronniv93]

But then, there could be times or places when the number of men is higher than the number of women.


For instance, I just found a site that broke down the population of Iraq as of 2002:


0-14 years: 41.1% (male 5,003,755; female 4,849,238)


15-64 years: 55.9% (male 6,794,265; female 6,624,662)


In this case, men outnumber the women, but I bet they don't temporarily outlaw polygamy.


Just an observation. Not really looking for a response.