05-23-2003, 01:19 PM
Salam alikom
In our present time many practices of Islam are misunderstood (unfortunately) by both muslims and non-muslims, and polygamy is misunderstood by many. Today I can not tell you polygamy is applied correctly always, for there are muslim women who suffer from it, but Islam is not to blame, the blame falls on those men who actually did not follow the guidelines of Islam on polygamy. Furthermore I believe if a woman does not want to apply polygamy to her personal life that does not give her the right to deny it or spread false information about it.
Islam set conditions to polygamy the first is fairness and justice, he must be fair in matters under his control. If a man feels that he will not be just then he is forbidden to marry more than one, and if a man does get married and he is not just on the day of judgment he will come leaning to one side and the proof is the hadith of the prophet(pbuh).
however a man does not have to be just in loving his wives as some say, for love is something that is not under his control .Second condition is financial capability a man must be able to spend equally on his wives ,also each wife has the right to have her own accommodation. Although today it’s not easy to apply those conditions but if a man can meet those conditions all I can say is may Allah help him succeed and fill his life happiness. Furthermore it’s not a condition for the husband to take the permission of the first wife but it’s from the kindness and the good manners of a muslim man to inform his first wife. Except however if it was agreed before marriage that he will not marry on her or he has to divorce her if he wants to marry on her then he has to keep his word for in the Quran it says:
“O ye who believe! fulfil (all) obligations…………………….” Surah Al-Ma’idah verse 1.
Also in a hadith it says:
Book 28, Number 28.6.16:
Malik said, "The custom among us is that when a man marries a woman, and he makes a condition in the marriage contract that he will not marry after her or take a concubine, it means nothing unless there is an oath of divorce or setting-free attached to it. Then it is obliged and required of him."
Also if a man marries on his wife it does not mean he no longer loves her as some claim and the greatest proof is the prophet(pbuh) ,he used to love Ayisha(Ra) so much but still he married on her.
Furthermore there is wisdom behind polygamy and it has many advantages, this link is discussing the ruling on polygamy and the wisdom behind it:
http://63.175.194.25/index.php?ln=eng&ds=q...&QR=14022&dgn=3
Also some people say that the verse 3 and 129 in Surah Al-Nisa contradict but they do not for nothing in the Quran contradicts and here is a link that explains :
http://www.fatwa-online.com/fataawa/marria.../9991018_46.htm