06-16-2004, 06:17 AM
Maintaining the Household:
This means he is responsible for all (that's right, all) household expenses. This is obligatory on him. The wife is not obliged to provide anything of her needs, no matter how rich or poor she is. The husband must provide for her clothing appropriate for each season, food, and shelter. The obligation of maintenance is a must upon the husband even if the wife and he are living in separate quarters (the wife living separately with his consent-- say for instance, one goes overseas for school).
Residence:
The husband must at least provide for the wife a home where no other relatives reside. It is her right to agree to live with his family members and waive the right to private residence. If this is the case, he should provide her with a private area which is accessible to her only, where she can keep her personal belongings.
Overseeing the Islamic education of the wife and the children:
In Islam, the husband is the head of the family, and is responsible for ensuring that both his wife and his children have access to appropriate Islamic educational materials. This means ensuring that his wife has access to Qur'an, Tasfir (exegesis, explanatory commentary of Qur'an), hadith, scholarly texts, halaqas, whatever. Usually, it is the wife and mother who becomes the children's main educator, and it is in everyone's best interests for the husband to uphold this responsibility with rigor.
Conjugal Relations:
The wife is entitled to sexual relations at least once every four nights (since this is as many wives as he can have), and / or enough to keep her from falling into any type of haram behavior. It is also expected that the man satisfy the wife to the degree where she is not tempted to commit zinaa, or adultery. It is absolutely forbidden for him to expect her to have sex in the presence of a cognizant third party (such as other adults).
A wife should expect that her husband will approach her gently and with concern for her feelings also. The Prophet (sallalahu aleyhi wa salaam) told his Companions not to approach their wives like a camel approaches a she-camel (that is, without any intimate and affectionate behaviors beforehand). There are other hadith where the Prophet (sallalahu aleyhi wa salaam) advises them to joke and cuddle with their wives, and to make sure that she receives her pleasures as well. For more on intimate marital relations, please read "The Muslim Marriage Guide" by Ruqayyah Waris Maqsood.
Justice:
The husband must abstain from using -- rather, abusing -- his rights in a cruel or unjust manner. Kindness to wives is repeated throughout the Qur'an and the Hadith.