11-05-2002, 10:26 PM
As Salam Alykom sister
Firs of all I suggest you register with us and get an account it is easy
Actually you made a reference to the wife being a salve to the husband, based on this you see that a Muslim woman is disadvantaged. Whereas you did not look into how Allah commanded men to behave with their wives which in fact gives us a high rank that non-Muslim women envy us for. Now take for example Allah’s command regarding the treatment of parents. Of course you know the verse saying:” hy Lord hath decreed that ye worship none but him, and that ye be kind to parents. whether one or both of them attain old age in thy life, say not to them a word of contempt (the Arabic word here is Offen which is just a slight sign of boredom), nor repel them, but address them in terms of honor” Quran 17: 23.
“Say: come, I will rehearse what God hath (really) prohibited you from: join not anything as equal with him; be good to your parents” Quran 6:151
From the above mentioned two verses you can see how strict Allah is regarding our behavior with our parents. Does this imply that we are enslaved to them, even the word Offen we can not say specially when they grow old, with all what old age mean of weird behavior, way of talking and interfering and other. Still we must control our temper while dealing with them. Allah commanded us for this in a sign of obeying Him, of being enslaved only to Him.
Like wise when you are obedient to your husband, you are actually obedient to Allah. When you try to please your husband you are pleasing Allah. However, Allah did not neglect (may He forgive me) our rights. No, a man is equally commanded to maintain nice and tender behavior towards the wife. Do not forget one of Allah’s names is the Just. As for the sex part. The whole issue is that if you refuse to allow your husband have sex with you sometimes and not always of course. You are indirectly helping him to commit a sin. Man and woman get married mainly to fulfil their sex desire, which is like any other need (food and other). Yet of course a nice, understanding husband will of course appreciate his wife’s position and will never be angry. On the other hand, for example a woman is entitled for divorce if her husband turned his back in bed to her. Be sure my sister that Allah is the most Gracious and so if you get married with the intention to please Allah, make a Muslim family and raise Muslim children He will help, support you and grant you success. If you really look at our rights by Islam you will be amazed. oNE MORE POINT, AS LONG AS YOU SAY YOUR FIVE TIME PRAYER, IT MEANS THAT YOU OF COURSE HAVE SOME KNOWLEDGE ABOUT OUR RELIGION AND YOU KNOW VERY WELL THAT HAVING SEX OUTSIDE THE WEDLOCK IS ABSOLUTELY HARAM (ZENA). HOwever, at the beginning of your post you made a point of women sometimes not needing sex, then you turned back and said what is wrong with having casual sex without committment to a relationship. Well I think you know the answer.
For more detail please read marriage: 1/2/3 on islamsms.com. You will find their link on your left hand side of the home page.