05-01-2004, 10:52 PM
Bismillah
As salam alaikum
I agree with Sister Jennifer. From the brothers who I have met, their young daughters will wear a hijab because they want to wear it. One young girl even got upset because she wanted to put one on when I visited and he told that she did not need to wear one.
I also agree that one should not FORCE a child when they are not old enough. I believe that the best way that a parent can encourage their children is to be a good example. A father can tell his son to go to the mosque to pray, memorize qur'an, and not listen to music, but then pray fajr at home, say he's too busy to learn more qur'an, and listen to the radio in the car. The son sees what the father DOES not what he says. The same works for mothers and daughters. When a girl sees that her mother wears her hijab as a sign of dignity, purity, and womanhood, then she will want to wear it for the same reasons. If a mother complains about what a burden the hijab is, then the daughter will see it as a burden as well.
Even though my father was not a muslim (nor I at the time), he had a beard. As a young boy, I could not wait to get a beard going. When I learned that men are supposed to have beards, I had little trouble adapting to the facial hair because I looked up to someone who had a beard when I was younger.
The time to wear a hijab will be apparent to the girl when the time comes from my experiences. Seventh grade is not applicable to the girls who are developed in fifth grade. It may also be too early for some girls. Brothers have told me that when their sisters were left alone to decide to put on the hijab, it meant more to the women. The reason that the girl wears it is for Allah alone, not parents, husband, or anyone. Children should be guided while they are young so when they do want to make their own decisions, they will make the correct ones.
P- Perhaps some of the things you do are just to declare some type of individuality from your parents? I can see why this would happen if they are as over protective and ruling as you say they are. This should be a warning to parents as well. If you do not let your children grow up little by little, they will seem to suddenly tear away from you. Like it or not, all children grow up.
I think I have rambled enough. Allah Forgive me for my shortcomings and if I have offended anyone. Please forgive me.
May Allah Guide and Protect us all
As salam alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatu
