01-14-2004, 05:11 PM
Bismillah
As salam alaikum
I am going through a divorce because of my desires conflicting with what Allah Orders. I now want Allah to be the number one in my life and cannot do that with the woman to whom I am married. I have tried.
In a relationship, the other person is either going to inhibit your relationship with Allah or assist it. It is like being on a ladder. If the other is helping you get closer to Allah, it is like a balloon is attached to your belt helping to ease the climb up. If the person is hindering your relationship with Allah, it is like trying to climb the ladder with a boulder tied to your waist. Sometimes the boulder is so great that it is impossible to move or it might even drag you down away from God.
For myself, I had to ask how I could face Allah on the Day of Judgement and explain that my going to hell was someone else's fault. Will that fly on that Day? I almost want to laugh at myself when I think of it. Putting another person before Allah, I believe for myself to be a form of shirk. By my putting this relationship, this temporary relationship, ahead of God in my priorities, I feel that I am committing a grievious sin.
I love my wife. I truly do in all manners and ways that one can upon this Earth. Yet this life is not it. She is not it. She will never complete me and give me that happiness that a pure relationship with Allah can. Like all relationships, the one with Allah must be worked on as well. Just as there many be ups and downs in a human relationship so can our relationship with Allah have highs and lows. The point is to keep going and improving even if it is only the basics that Allah has commanded from me.
These basics, especially the five daily prayers, are what opened my eyes to my situation in the first place. The advice that Muslimah gave is good, mash'Allah and should be used. I intend to do so. Yet if one is not even praying every time and on time, our most basic but strongest connection with Allah is not being utilized.
Ask Allah for help in this and He will Give you relief if that is what you truly seek. Doing good is not easy when one is out of practice. It is even harder if one continues to do bad. It is like trying to wipe dirt off of one's clothes as you sit in a puddle of mud. Almost impossible to get clean.
I am sorry for the long post but this is an issue that hits very close to home. I want to help others if I can as well as recieve help from all of you.
Jazakum Allah
As salam alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatu