11-13-2003, 09:15 AM
as salam a`ala man itaba`alhoda
Insh aAllah I will post what I know and of course my brothers and sisters are more than welcome to fill in, mind u JohnDoe I did not read the article u referred to on the other web site, I will just give what I know
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Praise be to Allah, may Allah expand my chest and release my tongue so that I use the proper useful words and put the correct info.
As the main reason for marriage is to allow both parties a legitimate way to fulfill their sexual need, therefore if either party is denied makes him/her vulnerable for sin.
A woman is entitled to ask for divorce for harm if her husband turned his back to her in bed since it implies a rejection.
Once a woman went complaining to Omar that her husband abandons her in bed. She precisely told him he fasts all day and stays up all night praying. He called him and explained to him that he must not abandon his wife in bed and must fulfill his duty in this regard so that he helps her maintain chastity.
Quran encourages men to indulge in foreplay before approaching their wives in an intercourse so that the woman is not to be seen as just a tool for the man’s pleasure but rather enjoys the act her self.
Every Muslim woman is aware of this and knows that she gains a reward for helping her husband to maintain chastity so is the man (which is the main purpose for marriage)
The Messenger of Allah (PAPBUH) said in a hadeeth that a man gains a reward when he has an intercourse with his wife, the companions asked we fulfill our desire and gain a reward he said yes because u would have shouldered a sin if u did that through an unlawful channel. So if the woman refuses her husband if he calls her for bed, she is sinful because she is helping him to commit a sin. We realize that and it is never seen, as rape never, because a Muslim man will also take his wife’s circumstances in consideration and never forces her. The Messenger of Allah was even very bold in this regard instructing the husband not to (I really have to find the right word which I can use) stop the act as soon as he is through until he makes sure that the wife is also through. He specifically said until she fulfills her need.
Well I just invoke upon Allah that I was capable to fulfill my duty and explain this point not to defend my religion but rather to provide info for whoever needs it.
Praise be to Allah and prayer and peace be upon His Messenger Mohamed, his household and companions.