06-13-2003, 08:01 AM
I am a Muslim by birth in China, and I'd like to post brother Sam's article here which I have translated into English from Chinese.[/color:57b2396e1a]
[i:57b2396e1a][u:57b2396e1a]Written by Brother Sam [/u:57b2396e1a][/i:57b2396e1a]
When I was in primary school, I had pondered the questions such as what was “me”, where I came from and went to. However, as I was very young then, I wasn’t able to get a clear answer to these questions. Father told me: in Marxist theory, a thorough materialist is fearless. I felt it pretty great so I claimed myself a materialist though I didn’t know what a materialist was actually at that time. Many years from then on, I always considered myself a materialist.
I worked very hard in junior high school aimed at key senior high school and I studied equally hard targeting on key university after I really got in. To go to university is my faith for many years because everyone around me always told how nice a thing to go to university. However, as I entered a university, I felt disappointed about the society and began to review my road in the past nineteen years and what I had strived for on earth.
My university was a place of freedom and had access to all kinds of communication, I was so leisured that I started to pay attention to the society and discovered there were too many hypocritical people beside me. I myself developed into the way they were gradually. I often reproached myself because I hated hypocrisy. I hated all vile social evils and often thought of its hotbed and how to extinguish them. I thought of my past, present and future as well but felt at sea about my future, somewhat at loose ends.
I felt life was so meaningless for me that I became decadent, unaware of what to do, so I just managed to get by day to day as many others around me. I felt pretty sorrowful in my heart and didn’t know what the others though of, maybe they were as hopeless as me and numbed themselves by devoting into their studies. However, I wasn’t able to do it as them. Hard years in high school added up to such a disappointment! I didn’t know where my future was.
Not long after I entered university, I made acquaintance with some Americans. One of them often asked me to visit his family who is zealous in preaching Christianity and sent me a Bible both in English and Chinese. Although I somewhat had repulsion for it but surprised at their belief in God, got to know this was not a usual question, and started to think of religion. However, for this or that reasons, I don’t like Christianity even detest it. Occasionally I thought of if God existed but didn’t get the answer. One year later, the American went back, my life was as hopeless as before. I was quite aware that I am terribly poor spiritually, as well as all people around me. I could do nothing about it. Lonely and helpless, I sighed with feeling of grief of life now and then.
On March 18, 2001, when I went shopping in the city center bookstore, found a book named “A Profile of Islamic Culture” by chance. I bought it for whatever reason. The book doesn’t deal with the idea of religion but with much knowledge, kindling my interest for Islam. And I started to read the Koran. However, I was not able to understand the version I bought there. The sentences are so broken that I doubted if it was translated and written in Chinese. It was Chinese characters indeed, why I couldn’t follow when these characters combined together? It threw cold water on my passion. Later, I searched the Chinese version of the Koran in Google, and found professor Majian’s. This time I got it and I was so happy. Reading several times of the section of “Time”, I found the sentences were pleasant and beautiful, which game me a good impression. Another time by chance, I found, surprisingly, Muslims took Jesus as saint too. I thought I must understand what it was on earth.
For this reason, I started to study Islam. I comprehended something after a period of time, discovering myself believed in Allah somewhat. Meanwhile I felt afraid because that was a time Falungong was slashed everywhere. I really didn’t know what to do! My diet was also changed and I felt it was not convenient for me to dine at university (non-Muslim) canteen. Eventually, my habit of life changed. I often tossed up and down in the bed at night, couldn’t help thinking of religion and philosophy. I felt some light ahead of me while darkness surrounded. I therefore made up my mind to make a resolution between belief and non-belief that I couldn’t waver any longer and should go on studying Islam...
Then, I dived myself into studying Islam. Three months later, I found myself completely changed, with much better understanding of Islam. So I believed that I was able to practice Islam and should begin to pray. It took me some efforts to find a religious Muslim in my university and I asked him to lead me to mosque for Salat Jumah. Surprised as he was, he led me to an imam in mosque. At the first prayer, I was deeply impressed even shocked by the sound of hundreds kneeling down at the same pace. I was aware that I was coming to the right place although I could follow the Arabic of recitation, it sounded beautiful.
When I converted to Islam, all issues arising from studied, life, idea and perspective of the world are readily solved. I had got a clearer view towards the world and society, more convinced about my own life style and behavior. I understand there are still some obstacles in my path, but Islam is the right path that I should follow.
I have been thinking of such a question: every child is lovable when they are young, but the problem is some of them would get the wrong path when grow up. It there a education to minimize the possibility? I have been searching for an answer and now I’ve got it: It is Islam.