08-04-2003, 12:49 PM
I pray Allah (swt) bless me to state truth and keep me from stating wrong.
My understanding about marriage, (It is truely sacred)
I believe that when the Prophet (saaws) first married, with Khadijah (ra), he (saaws) knew as Allah stated in qur'an, (to have one wife is better).
And the Prophet (saaws) stayed with her and only her til her death.
It wasn't until a battle or war that left many women widowed, that he (saaws) as protection, took these women and married them. Also, it was not a disrespect for him (saaws) to marry Aisha (ra), and it was not just because she was a virgin. He (saaws) saw in her at an early age (knowledge, potiental) and won't allow any other man to marry and raise her in islam, and of course he(saaws) also saw her (ra) in a dream, sent as a sign from Allah (swt), so he married her, but he didn't go into her until years later when she became of age, (so it's not about lust).
Most of the Brothers and even before, I wondered, why not more than one wife, then when you think about it on the day of judgement, we must answer for each wife and each child from each wife.
We must follow the Prophet (saaws), but we must not marry more than one these sisters, thinking they are like a box of chocolates. These sisters are servants of Allah and we must respect them. If we are not marrying them for the pleasure of Allah to protect, teach, maintain, and love these sisters (whether 5 lbs. under or over), brothers we must be careful. Besides, when we join in marriage, yes we must be fair and let the first wife (at least know), and she must come up with a very logically reason why she can't handle it.
Even the Prophet (saaws) had a hard time with his(saaws) wives, they were naturally jealous, but never crossed, the lines into evil behaviours. He (saaws) even left them for a month, (went up to his attic and told them to be well behaved). He (saaws) just took a break from them. Even the qur'an tells of his offer to divorce his wives. *
Sometimes 1 wife is hard enough.
I know most of my friends still get finanical help from their wives and can't even have enough time with the wives children, they have now. I have some friends on the other hand who have much funds and plenty of energy to keep all their wives happy (or should I say from complaining).
Brothers, you know, and it is something we should think about, the life of the world or the best of both worlds.
As-salaamu alaikum wa rahmantu'llah.