08-15-2003, 11:47 PM
Sis. Muslimah, I hope it's ok, for me to say, that;
it is naturally, that a woman want her husband to her. Even the Prophet (saaws) wives (ram) were all deeply in love with him. They placed tricks on one another and evn Aisha (ra) was reported to have been jealous of Khadijah (ra) his (saaws) first wife, even though she had past already and also, she wasn't even one of the wives during the polygamy aisha (ra) was apart of.
Sisters if you want to discuss this among each other, it would be also, enlightening to see what other brothers have to say.
Not all of us want more than one wife, being men, we may think of it, but we know in our hearts we can bearly hancle the ones we have. Some brothers are very well endowed with all physical, emotional, and financial ablitlies and them may be willing to take care of more than one. But it is not right if a sister helps her husband maintain and provide, then when he gets a few extra bucks in his wallet, he just ups and get another. That is the time for us to actually, make up everything to the wives we have.
If a brother is abled and treats the first wife with upper respect in all aspects, then that sister have no right to go against it. but if he doesn't fulfill all his duties to take care of that wife he should never even think about gettng another.
Another sister asked where is it stated one is better,
(sura 4:3)
My opinion:
there is a question of which type of woman to marry, because some woman can't be dealt with justly, meaning, some require so much and it a brother is willing to take her and care for her, he shouldn't divide her maintainacne with the 2nd wife, it's not right to take from one to give to another, useless you are dealing with the things children must share. But a wife is a help mate and needs to be cared for .
Anyway, I just wanted you all brothers and sisters to know, we must for Allah's Pleasure, get this together and treat marriage sacred as Allah states, it's a union of His Servants is c covenant and too many of covenants have been broken.
As-salaamu alaikum wa rahmantu'llahi wa barakatu!