Can this be true about Polygamy in Islam?

[abdulwalee]

<b>Concerning polygamy</b>


Question: Some people say that marrying more than one wife is not allowed unless a person has orphans under his care and he fears that he will not do justice between them. Then he may marry their mother or one of her daughters. For evidence, they quote the verse:


{And if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with the orphan-girls, then marry women of your choice, two, three or four...}, [soorah an-Nisaa., Aayah 3).


Response: This statement is false.


The meaning of the verse is that if a person has under his care an orphan and he fears that he will not give her the proper amount of dower, then he should marry other women, for there are many women and Allaah will not make things difficult for him. The verse points to the legality of marrying<b> two, three or four wives. </b> This is allowed because it leads to more chastity, lowering of eyesight and guarding of the private parts.


Furthermore, that is a cause for more children and the chastity of more women, as well as them being treated properly and cared for. There is no doubt that the woman who has one-half of a husband or one-third or one-fourth is better off than the one who has no husband at all. However, one must meet the condition of justice among the wives and the ability to take care of and tend to the wives. If a person fears that he will not do justice, then he may only many one wife in addition to having slaves. The practice of the Prophet (sal-Allaahu `alayhe wa sallam) indicates and stresses that. When he died, he had nine wives. And Allaah says about him:


{Indeed in the Messenger of Allaah you have a good example to follow}, [soorah al-Ahzaab, Aayah 21].


The Prophet (sal-Allaahu `alayhe wa sallam) made it clear to his Nation that it was allowed for him to have more than four wives. Therefore, following his example on this point would mean taking four wives or less. Beyond four wives is something that is specific for the Prophet (sal-Allaahu `alayhe wa sallam) only.


Shaykh Ibn Baaz


Fataawa al-Mar.ah


<b>There is no contradiction in the verses regarding polygamy</b>


Question: Concerning polygyny, it is stated in the Qur.aan:


<b>{If you fear that you will not be able to deal justly [with more then one wife], than [marry] only one}, [soorah an-Nisaa., Aayah 3].</b>


However, in another place, it states:


<b>{You will never be able to do perfect justice between your wives even if it is your ardent desire}, [soorah an-Nisaa., Aayah 129].</b>


In the first verse, the condition of being just among the wives is stated while in the second it makes it clear that the condition of justice could never be met. Does this mean that the first verse is abrogated and that it is not allowed to many more than one woman since the condition of justice cannot be fulfilled? Benefit us, may Allaah reward you.


Response: There is no contradiction between the two verses. There is also no abrogation by one verse of the other. The justice that is mentioned in the first verse is the justice within one's ability, which is related to being fair in division of time and in maintenance. As for being just with respect to love and sexual relations, this is not within one's ability. This is what is being referred to in the verse:


{You will never be able to do perfect justice between your wives even if it is your ardent desire}, [soorah an-Nisaa., Aayah 129].


In a Hadeeth about the Prophet (sal-Allaahu `alayhe wa sallam) ‘Aa.ishah stated:


"The Messenger of Allaah (sal-Allaahu `alayhe wa sallam) used to divide his time between his wives and he was fair. He used to say:


((O Allaah, that is my division with respect to what I have control over. Do not blame me for what You control and over which I have no control)). This was recorded by Abu Daawood, at-Tirmidhee, an-Nasaa.ee, Ibn Maajah. It was graded Saheeh by Ibn Hibbaan and al-Haakim.


Shaykh Ibn Baaz


Fataawa al-Mar.ah


I personally have been in Polygany 3 times The first time I can say I was "following my desires" trying to see what it would be like to have two wives. I was intrigued by the ideal. The sister was a non-muslim at first, and I didn't take the time to teach her, rather there was no time because I needed to get married in a hurry before I commited Zina with this women. I really was on my desires, she took shahada and put on a khimaar and Jilbaab but really didn't stay in Islam but 2 mounths. her mom found out she became a muslim, and on top of that married a man who had another wife. subsequently her mom talked her out of it. She left Islam shortly thereafter. I never seen or heard from her again. I had some money so I thought that would be good enought to sustain more wives. But the trials are enormous. theres jelousy which arose from it. managing the finances and a host of other matters which I wasn't prepared for, also I was Immature at that time. The second time was a quick marriage to a sister in order to help her she had been married 4 times and had three children with no money and a host of other problems. but we were not a good match and the marriage failed miserably, due to us not fearing Allah regarding each others rights. We both worked long hours and didn't have time to nurture the relationship. NOT enough Deen either, the sister had grown children, with children,whose own marriages failed. And they moved into the home with us so it was a mess. The last time I did it right! again to safeguard my chastity and prevent myself from Zina. because when I was in college as a non-muslim I was use to having 2 or 3 girl friends at a time so I natrually had a thing for the ladies. And theres a great deal of fitnah in College to maintain ones modesty. I give a great deal of praise to my First and today only wife of 23 years who put up with alot of crazy immature antics from me in those years. And I dont praise anyone After Allah. but she was a rock. I learned a great deal from my experiences in polygany. that it is for a knowledgable person who has a great deal of patience, and knows how to faness his wives. meaning he's not uptight, He must own property and in most cases due to the level of ones wives keep them apart because the daughters of adam have a natural jelousy- It can be blameworthy, or praisworthy-meaning- she loves her husband so much that she's not willing to share. But the wisdom behind polygany is that the sister has to only care for her husband half the time- less responsibility on her. I learned something else that women have to be brought up with the ideal that husbands and wives are not each others property, we all belong to Allah and He has laid down rights and duties to allow marriage to go smoothly, but of course not free from test and trials. thats where uprightness and taqwa come in. Also one has the have the Tawfeeq(help from Allah) to weather the storm. Because todays Ummah have alot of non-muslim ideals regarding the family structure and how to safeguard ones family. Both the Husband and the wife are Shepards of the falimy and both will be held accountable Yawmul Qiyyamah.


The last matter I learned from my experiences is that a man who wish to live in polygany must be able to deal justly with those in his care. as it relates to his time, and housing and clothing etc. NOT equally, because one family may have; say four children and the wife, another family may only have the wife... yet they are still one Family. Than you have other scinarios which can take place in the family like the trial of working spouses. will they reliquish some of their rights to help out with bills etc.? Do they have to? if not why? when she is allowed to work in the first place. and what if the wife is wealthy how much of that husbands maintanance is reqired? and what if the wife has no need or desire for her husbands mantanance? All these issues require Fataawa from the Rabbaniyoon, (the Nurturing Scholars of Islam.) mere experiences have no real knowledgable asset to offer the Ummah regarding this issue. The real story should be "How to be successful at Polygany" because even the salaf of this deen had some marital problems. Some sahaabas were married alot of times, and our mothers(The Wives of the Prophet) showed some jelousy at times. Yet they never came out against Polygamy nor did they try to find new ways to sercumvent the established way like todays late-commers to islam have tried... and Im not saying anyone here is trying to do that but these people they are out there" The polygamy haters"amoungst women and men muslims and non-muslims alike. But this issues has already been delt with there are a host of fataawa on this issue. and Finally Our prophet said" there is not a Prophet or messenger except they informed their nation about all matters which would bring benefit and all matters which would cause harm to them" reported by at-Tirmithee My last statement is <b>Al-Hamdullillahi rabbil alameen</b>