09-21-2006, 12:26 AM
Well lemme give u all a lil story of what eventually helped me make the decision to take the leap and ask Khadeeja
I come from the typical western culture that says 25 is the ideal age to get married. I always wanted to marry young, but I had this idea in mind that I should be at least able to survive in order to have a wife. This meant having my own home, a car and all that. So I just never decided to take the leap.
One day (before I bought my car) I took a ride with this guy, a young muslim guy who I had just met from the masjid. While going in his car, we started to talk of the issue of marriage.
This guy started to tell me about his experience with marriage. He told me of how much he loved this muslimah and how much he didnt want to sin. He saved himself all his life and didnt want to fall into sin.
He went on to tell me about his relationship with his wife (of course not thie intimate details). He agreed that marriage has it's downsides, but said that most of the downsides that he's experienced were small nonsensical things that often turned out big. But in the final analysis, he said that the amazing feeling that comes from being unconditionally loved, knowing that you have someone there at home waiting for you, someone who's heart will be at ease when she sees you home safe at the end of theday, this feeling made it all worth while.
He agreed that as long as you trust in Allah, marrying young will be ok. No need for worries about poverty.
Furthermore, in my opinion, if two people get married in spite of hardship, and they work through that hardship together and move on in life together, their relationship will be far greater due to this struggle. As opposed to bringing a spouse into a luxurious home and as soon as hard times hit you he/she cant take it and leaves.
Anyways, after speaking to this guy, I went on and asked for Khadeeja's hand in marriage.
My encounter with this guy was so profound. I mean, the things that he said and the way that he said it really had a huge impact on me. I was like WOOOOWW amazing.
But it showed me two things
- the importance of marriage
- Sometimes, it's the little things that we do that makes an impact on people, if we give sincere advice on something that we are passionate about. Something that's serious to us, we can change lives. It follows therefore, that if we are passionate about islam in our own heart, we can have the opportunity to make a change in someone's life, and this my dear brothers and sisters, is better than the world and everything it contains.
Anyways. that was all a little off topic but i just wanted to share my view on marrying young.
wa salaam all
naseeha.
btw: Khadeeja and I are still stuck about the dowry thing :)