05-03-2006, 05:22 PM
Bismillah
as salam alykom
welcome back Rock long time no see.
I would like just to clarify a few points here, lest a reader may get confused.
The fisrt Ayah u quoted regarding Allah's Command to marry a Muslim slave rather than a non believer, the word Allah used in Arabic was not even if u loved (ahbabtuh) but rather Allah Say A`jabakum which if u liked them.
The second Ayah u quoted does not in any way related to this kind of love, but in this Ayah Allah Is stating the difference of e`dat (waiting period) between a woman who was divorced and that who became a widow. As for the formers the rules are more strict, since she is somehow or the other is still a wife, no one is allowed even to indicate indirectly a wish of marriage, whereas the latter the rules are a bit more relaxed in this regard. Allah Commanded that you will not be in fault due to what u did of expressing indirectly a wish to marry so and so. This is a permission for men to be able to go to the wali and say for example pls do inform me when the waiting period of so and so is over.
However, in both cases, I dont think u meant in any way, that for example one who likes another person is allowed to go out even for coffee in a public place. Actually, the problem is that the moment both parties starting to like each other in a man woman manner, shaytan can very easily intercept. i mean even if they chat on msn, the chat can develop into different stages easily.
I dont think that Rock was quoting the Ayahs to support this, but as he/she said:
So I think that love as a feeling is not forbidden,but we have no rights due to this feeling,not only the rights of touching her but we should give her all rights(talking in public,talking politely,lower our seen,no touching,no informing her with our feeling....)
Just to be even more specific, when love was mentioned in Quran, and here i mean when Allah Used the Arabic word for love which is hub, it was used to express how the wife of Azeez of Egypt became infatuated with yusuf, just ponder on how she handled her feelings and where did her feelings took her.
"And women in the city said: "The wife of Al-'Azeez is seeking to seduce her (slave) young man, indeed she loves him violently
; verily we see her in plain error" (Quran 12:30)
This is when the line of danger is on, this is when the red light comes on, this is where we muslims must not come near. It is this kind of love when either party says O I cannt live without him/her. We can live without anything except Allah.
We are not saying we just marry without the basic liking, on the contrary, the Messenger salla Allah a`lyhee wa sallam encourages men to marry those whom they like their looks which will be the only way to fulfill their desires and help them to lower their gazes. Same rule applies for women, it is totally forbidden to force a woman to marry someone she does not like. But I stress the liking as Rock said must not developed into further stages.