05-01-2006, 09:18 AM
Bismillah
as salam alykom aldhahri
Mash a Allah may Allah Increase u in Eman and Taqwa and Assist u always to do what is right and avoid what is wrong.
Well as for this particular situation which we all face somehow or the other in our life, try to be as kind as possible when they start by nicely reminding them that if u start liking someone by seening them as cute, that switches the red light on. That is why Allah Commanded us to lower our gazes. Then u may jokingly say O girls dont start that, i didnt even notice the guy so dont attract my attention to him. Or for example give example about yourself as saying imagine girls yesterday accidently I was watching TV and so and so came on, O I felt that I will start being attracted so I tried to control myself and changed the channel. Try to go on like, girls it really takes time to be trained to do so, but we all need to. Dont give naseeha like a direct firm one as partonizing, but make yourself part of the problem and want to get rid of it. people tend to reject direct and rough advice but lean towards sharing and feeling that they are not suffering on their own. However, u need to be very careful as not to get carried out in giving naseeha and feeling happy you are helping others that u unintentionaly get caught in what u dont want to do. There is a thin line my dear sister.
As long as one sees a guy cute this is the beginning of what we dont want to come to. Other stuff such as they did this or that is categoried as ghayba specially if what u mentioned those poeple would like to cover. If they dont stop, just leave the place and go, at the beginning people would think u r a bit tough, but then at least they will get used to u that u dont accept this attitude and will not do it in your presence. I understand in your age u need company and friends but dont let this need overshadow your need to Please Allah. U may remind them also nicely but this.
May Allah protect u