02-05-2005, 04:00 AM
Hi John,
actually, I don't think it has anything to do with being a "good wife." It's talking only about being ungrateful, and you can be the best wife in whatever terms anyone defines that, but still be ungrateful in your heart.
The thing is, when you are talking about something that determines whether you go to heaven or hell, it is only between a person and Allah. So if a wife is ungrateful to her husband, he may not even know, of if she makes it known, there's not really anything he can do to "punish" her, except maybe divorce her if its really bad. But punishment or reward as far as heaven or hell is concerned is only determined by Allah.
So this hadith doesn't apply to rights women have on earth. It is, however, illustrating the importance of the relationship between husband and wife, because a man will be responsible to Allah for how he treats his wife, and if he gives her good treatment and she is ungrateful, that's kind of a big slap in the face when the day of judgement comes.
On another note, I'd say this hadith isn't far off the mark in terms of how women are. Even before I was a muslim, I saw it all the time that women would get like this, no matter what you ever do for them, the minute they get angry you suddenly have never done anything right. That's not to say men don't ever do it, but women do it much more by far. So, as Umm said, it's a good reminder for everyone to be grateful.. not just women to their husbands, but all people to everyone, and especially to be grateful to Allah.