Asalamalaikum
I can soooo relate to you.
Ever since I found out that music was haram,I've been struggling because I really enjoyed listening to music. Then I quit that and also I used to dismiss the fact that music was haram,by allowing myself to listen to Arbic music, since the singers are muslim. I also listened to music without mature content, and others that I didn't understand like Indian or latino. However, I decided to stay true to myself, so I don't listen to it now alhamdulilah. Besides Nasheed just beats them all!!!!!
It's always important to remember the consequences of our actions and have faith in the blessings of Allah. Not to mention busying yourself and substituiting it for Qur'an.
Anyway read this, it truly made me think:
<b>Abdullaah Ibn Abbas (radiallahu anhu) said:</b>
"You who commit a sin, do not feel secure about the results, for what goes along with the sin is more serious than the sin itself.
Your lack of shame before the angels, who witness you when you commit the sin, is more serious than the sin itself.
Your laughter when you sin, as you forget the punishment of Allah is more serious than the sin itself.
Your delight if you get a chance to sin, is more serious than the sin itself.
Even your disappointment, if you miss a chance to sin is more serious than the sin itself."
<b>The Prophet (PBUH) said</b> Jannah is an invaluable gift and unless man gives the sacrifice of his life and wealth, he will not become eligible for entering it. (Tuhfatul Ahwadhi).
May Allah help you all in your endeavour to worship him. May He bless us all with the strength of character to overcome the whisperings of shaytan, because God knows we need it.