06-07-2003, 01:35 PM
Salaam,
It's hard living has a muslim in the u.s. I've been here all my life and was born in Ny. I didnt care much about religion until a year ago. Throughout my life, their's nights I couldn't get any sleep because I feared Allah and the painful torment he was goin to give me. I have a good heart inside but I don't do enough to succeed Paradise. I need to move out of here. I've always longed and dreamed about moving to Saudia Arabia..Living in peace and harmony. Hearing the athan 5 times a day is the beauty of living in a Islamic world, but how will I know? Has anyone ever been there? I feel like I'm becoming more religious than ever, and sometimes I feel like I'm losing my religion by living in a Non-muslim state. I don't pray very much has I used to before. I feel like I'm living in the middle of the american lifestyle and the Islamic lifestyle. It's hard to live like a true muslim, since I came up from drinking alcohol, go to the clubs, mingling with women. So now I try to stay home and lock myself in my house because of all the sinning I'll committ once I get outside the door. I think the Shaitan is got a good hold of me. Finding out new stuff in Islam, for example..When I read that eating at restaurants when ordering Beef or chicken is a sin. It is prohibited because the animal was not killed in the name of Allah. What am I supposed to do? I mean, everytime I eat Taco bell or Mc'ds...I feel so bad that I'm sinning, and then that makes me not want to pray..Because I think, I know I just committed a sin and then I prayed after, Will that be right? Its hard for me, understand I've just gotten into religion a year ago and I feel like it's been killling me. Everything I do, is a sin. Well I just felt like writting and wanted to know if anyone else felt like me out there....