Bismillah
as salam alykom
Digging as Radiyah suggested, I found some nice articles on marriage may Allah makes them useful to all of us. I will copy them Insh a Allah, may be they are somehow long but they will serve as good education material Insh a Allah.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Bismillah
Marriage in Islam 1/4
Praise be to Allah the All- Knower Who guided us to the truth and if it was not for Him we will never been guided and prayer and peace be upon our noble Prophet Mohamed.
I’m very pleased to have received few feed backs on the subject of marriage. However, I’d like very much to share part of my opinion with all of you and see how far does it relate to the present circumstances.
The media in general (songs, movies and even novels) made a major contribution in formulating people’s perception regarding the inter – gender relationship in two ways. First is that women (some of them and not all of course) may suffer inner problems when they face difficulty in finding a male partner. To them it is interpreted that they are not good enough to attract somebody like other women do. Second is that the media fosters a love affair stereotype rather than a marital relation image.
On the other hand some men look at the relation with the opposite sex as an added value factor. In other words, an evidence to their superiority for being able to attract a certain woman (regardless of the reasons behind her specialty: either beauty, authority, character, social position or else). Some men retain an over self-confidence quality which could be an output of their own position (career, wealth ..etc). This makes them feel that they deserve a super special female who could fit into their perfect picture. While movies, songs and novels introduce the perfect two mate picture who fall in love, go places, enjoy their time or face problems. As they face problems, the situation is portrayed to the audience as disastrous (as if life should not contain problems). It is presented as if one has lost everything.
Let us take such type of relationship as ground for a marriage. When two people finally make a decision to marry after an affair, problems usually occur due to several reasons. The woman expects to continue receiving the same level of attention from her male partner regardless of the real life circumstances that certainly differ from themes introduced in a song or a movie. While a man discovers that his wife is no more than an ordinary woman like all others. Both parties usually feel that the actual situation they face does not meet their high expectations, which naturally jeopardizes the marriage.
From this we conclude that people usually take their own personal qualities as criteria for their choices (who deserves what or I deserve the best). This makes men and women race to attain features that are recognized to be successful in each other’s eye.
While marriage stretches beyond the fact that it is merely two people who like each other and end up together. It is a mutual responsibility rather than just a source of pleasure.
In the next part we will start shedding light on the Islamic teachings in this regard.