Hello

[Anyabwile]

Currently I am married to a Catholic man.  It is completely impossible for me to ever be a Muslim according to Sharia law.  It is forbidden for a Muslim woman to be married to a kafr man.  I would have to divorce him, break up a happy marriage, and ruin my children's life and childhood.  My husband is good to me and my children, he loves us, and provides for us, and makes many sacrifices for us, and doesn't complain much over it either, and doesn't ask for much at all.  How on earth could I throw that away.  I believe God gave me such a good man to care for me and my family, why would God want me to throw him away?  If I stay married to him, I worship the same..... if I divorce him..... I still worship the same........ only with a great pain inside.  It's not right.  I don't understand it, and I don't agree with it.  I think that's wrong.


My husband would never ever in a million years convert to Islam.  He practicaly hates all Muslims and Arabs.  If I had ever mentioned it to him it would be disasterous.  That's why I just do my own thing.  Like I said.... God knows me..... He knew me before He created me..... and it's between Him and I.  That's all I can do for now.

I'm going through that very same family situation right now, except luckily my girlfriend isn't a racist. She just doesn't like religions, she doesnt understand how i can follow "a story written by some man" and of course now we must be married, plus we have a daughter together. Right now we're not living together but speak (with tension and arguments most of the time) but right now we're on hold while i'm trying to figure out the best option, and at the moment i'm banging my head on walls and not getting no where. Except becoming even more conviced that God exists and speaks through Islam as Allah. Once again all this gets strong through me reading Science and reading Allahs word. I havent read the Quran as a whole yet, but read verses everyday in the research that i do, and almost every verse or selected quote speaks directly to me. However, i see this all as a test from Allah, i think to myself what could be one of the biggest tests from Allah to me, it would involve my daughter and girlfriend.


I feel bad how your husband feels about Muslims and Arabs, especially since i read something like only 16% of Muslims in the world are actually Arab. I don't think it's good for someone to have strong views like that, i used to have them for certain people it's dangerous, converting to Islam helped rid me of that. As long as the hate for Arabs stays within his own mind i guess that's all one could ask for, luckily you don't think the same about Islam or "the arabs" or you wouldn't be here! And yeh we do like you don't go!


I personally see the difficult struggles as a test, life is the testing ground it is sooooo short, and God watches every single step and breath we make. The idea of Allah being pleased at me overcoming this test with my family is very very pleasurable to me. But that doesn't mean dumping my family in the street, it means working hard on ever so slightly convincing my girlfriend step by step...at the moment though i'm facing a brick wall with this. She will not budge and things are getting harder, however it's all working out for itself as well because we've never has a smooth relationship unlike you...so maybe this is the break i've been searching for. However we still have a child together which is the hardest part of it all as i love my daughter soooooo much, i don't like the idea of only seeing her a few days a week, and i want us to be a family. However this presents a clear as crystal test to me from Allah, which i'm handling slowly in my own way.


If i had to choose, then how could i not choose the one who gave me my daughter and girlfriend in the first place. Doesn't make sense not to, but Allah is so kind, i haven't been made to choose yet, i feel he's giving me time, which i am so humbly grateful for. But the right choice grows clearer in my mind everyday. Due to Allahs will i'm being given time. I must also say this forum has been the best thing for me, as i know no Muslims so felt very alone. Right now my only Muslim friends are those online, and i have no excuse i live near a big Muslim community, maybe i'm still locked in by the whole appearence thing. Most of the Muslims in my town are Asian (Arabs, Indian, Pakistani descent) and i don't know how they'd take to a big Black dude walking into their Mosque, as there's a little racial tension between African-British and Asian-British in my area right now but then i also think, if they are Muslim, and follow Allahs word and the word of the prophet, colour should not be something they use to judge me. Thats why the reports of racist Muslims against the Black soldiers in Iraq confuse me, as a Muslim you cannot be racist, it's against the word of god and the prophet. What do they do, read GODS WORD and choose the bits they want????


But you know how it is, we're all shy in our own silly way. But yeh i'm drifting, my point is being alone as a new Muslim is the hardest thing, even moreso for you i'd imagine, as i don't live in a religious household or community, i very much keep myself to myself. I see it as God made us, everything we know, he wouldn't test us like the situation me and you are in unless he had a purpose. To see which of his souls are enlightened enough to enter the gates of Paradise. We are all souls wrapped in this marvelous machine called a Human being that Allah has created for us, he has given us all, he is the lord of existance and all, everything in the end is Allah. We sometimes loose sight of this, that's why this whole family situation for me is a test. It could be for you too i don't know, only Allah/God does of course, but in my humble new Muslim opinion, i don't think Allah would look bad on you, your heart is so warm and open to speaking to all, i hope he wouldn't look bad on me as well. Sigh...only Allah knows and we never can or will.


God Bless.