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Salam
U knw wt is life? How wld u define it? Most ppl nowhere days think of thier life evolves around love. U knw ppl get themselfs into a trap whihc they cnt get themselves out of espcially tennagers and yougsters today
I gt myself into this trap. U knw wen u actually fall in love with sum1, u 4get abt the rite and wrong. U get bilinded and dnt see wot ur actaully doing wrong, but if u do realise u still dnt act on it. I fell in love yeh wen i was 16. It was like sumthin so good great or wotever has happened to me. You knw as they say sum1 always ends up gettin hurt, well its so true they do.
I ended up gettin hurt. But wot did i actually achieve from all of it. At the end of the day nutin. I didnt get nething out of it. Yes i mite still like dat person today but there was no outsome from it.
Islam teaches us the rites and wrong in life, but how many ppl follow these teachings knowin wot they r. I myself didnt but i only realised my stupid actions wen it was all over or maybe i still havnt.
U knw now that i am out a relationship i feel i dnt knw hw to explain but like im fresh or sumthing an im myself, free from things. Im more focused on wot im doing (religion wise) but u knw the hardest thing comin out of a relationship is 4gettin abt it and puttin it to aside.
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u know what im in exactly the same position the only difference is im still in the relationship its true what u said u forget everything .... love blinds u ... u do stupid things u listen 2 no 1 at all....i sometimes feel as well that i wanna dump her and bcum a good muslim but i cant coz we get 2gether again...its hard in the western world ...coz ur bombarded with the western way of life through television magazines colleges etc ... u see them doing it and u think its normal and theirs nothing wrong with it but we r wrong ... the bad thing is we r both muslims in the relationship ......i hope some body can give us advise on what to do ....
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as salam alykom to both of u
Insh a Allah I will try my best with Allah's close guidance to help. I will not use the theoritical usual advices of be aware of Allah, u r a muslim, read about Allah's punishment. Simply because it is obvious that both of are quite aware of all that and more. More in the sense that u really r struggling to get over the problem. Yes it is a problem. Suhail not only in western societies no, every where. The media is so strong on that. and we are so weak.
Ok. First what is the cause of the problem, obviously shaytan. he decorates it and inspires u that it is difficut to stop.
Insh a Allah we need to set a plan, as any other Muslim u must be facing an attack from Shaytan who has no other desire but to trouble the son of Adam.
Well now we need to know how to combat Insh aAllah:
1. Maintain a status of Wodu all the time, every time you break wodu take wodu again.
2. Recite Ayatulkorsi (Quran 2:255) a lot, when u feel that u r too anxious to call, go for a date or when u are hit by an unpleasent wave. Also make sure to play Surat Baqarah (Quran 2) in the house every other day. In a hadeeth, the Messenger sallah Allahu a`alyhe wa sallam said that it deters the shaytan for three days.
3. Every time u want to go for a date, try to stop and fail to stop, give out a small amount for Sadaqa, any amount
4. Every time also u go for a date, perform 2 raka`a extra Tawbah. By this the Shaytan will find that by whispering to u, u r Insh a Allah increasing good deeds. He will stop.
5. Recite this dua a lot (like 100 times):
La ilaha ila Allah wahdahu la shareeka lahu lahul molk walahul hamd yohyie wayomeet wahuwa a`ala kol shai-en qadeer.
لا اله الا الله وحده لا شريك له له الملك وله الحمد يحيى ويميت وهو على كل شئ قدير
6. Last but not least, make much dua that Allah helps u to stop what is not pleasing to Him. Seek His help, talk to Allah and tell Him how much u suffer for not being as u should, and how much u need to get rid of this sin. Allah shall certainly help u.
This dua is a protection against Shaytan.
Say aoudh billah mina shaytan arrajeem a lot.
Also do tasbeeh a lot, like saying sobhan Allah, walhamdulelah, wa la ilaha ila Allah waAllah u akbar wa la howla wala qowata ila billa. A lot. Make this a lot. In a hadeeth also the messenger said what means hearts rust and the scrubbing is la ilaha ila Allah, and on another narration and the scrubbing is Quran.
Insh aAllah both of you will be able to get over this situation, and will more than fine.
may Allah protect us all against shaytan and his soldiers
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Jazakallah for ur help
I knw dat sayin sumthin is easily done but puttin it into practice is much harder to do. I think gettin focused and doin all the things u had said isnt going to be easy. Its gna take time.
Still knwin wt is wrong doesnt stop u from things it jst kinda happens. Yeh i knw wt ur sayin suhail hw u wanna dump her but u cnt. Even though u knw its gna be 4 d best but to u being with her is for the best.
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as salam alykom
I did not say it is easy, nothing is easy unless with Allah's help, that is why I mentioned in the last point to make salat and ask for Allah's support and help.
Suhail, just think of her as your own blood sister, I dont think u would like this for your own sister. I know what u must be saying now. But just think of her as your sister, daughter or even a cousin. U will never accept it for her.
One more nice point. keep youslef busy. How? a quran chapter is usually scripted in 20 pages. Divide them by 5= 4 pagers. Read 4 pages after each prayer. By this u will finish a Juz-u/day.
Other things like joining an Islamic community activity would help much. getting involved with people's difficulties, u will see that the difficulty u r going through is actually minimal. U will be able to stop Insh aAllah. Think how if u take this serious step u will be helping a Muslim sister to improve herself. Doing it for Allah will help much. Just start. Dont stand there saying I can not u can.....Insh a Allah u can
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Bismillah
As salam alaikum
I am going through a divorce because of my desires conflicting with what Allah Orders. I now want Allah to be the number one in my life and cannot do that with the woman to whom I am married. I have tried.
In a relationship, the other person is either going to inhibit your relationship with Allah or assist it. It is like being on a ladder. If the other is helping you get closer to Allah, it is like a balloon is attached to your belt helping to ease the climb up. If the person is hindering your relationship with Allah, it is like trying to climb the ladder with a boulder tied to your waist. Sometimes the boulder is so great that it is impossible to move or it might even drag you down away from God.
For myself, I had to ask how I could face Allah on the Day of Judgement and explain that my going to hell was someone else's fault. Will that fly on that Day? I almost want to laugh at myself when I think of it. Putting another person before Allah, I believe for myself to be a form of shirk. By my putting this relationship, this temporary relationship, ahead of God in my priorities, I feel that I am committing a grievious sin.
I love my wife. I truly do in all manners and ways that one can upon this Earth. Yet this life is not it. She is not it. She will never complete me and give me that happiness that a pure relationship with Allah can. Like all relationships, the one with Allah must be worked on as well. Just as there many be ups and downs in a human relationship so can our relationship with Allah have highs and lows. The point is to keep going and improving even if it is only the basics that Allah has commanded from me.
These basics, especially the five daily prayers, are what opened my eyes to my situation in the first place. The advice that Muslimah gave is good, mash'Allah and should be used. I intend to do so. Yet if one is not even praying every time and on time, our most basic but strongest connection with Allah is not being utilized.
Ask Allah for help in this and He will Give you relief if that is what you truly seek. Doing good is not easy when one is out of practice. It is even harder if one continues to do bad. It is like trying to wipe dirt off of one's clothes as you sit in a puddle of mud. Almost impossible to get clean.
I am sorry for the long post but this is an issue that hits very close to home. I want to help others if I can as well as recieve help from all of you.
Jazakum Allah
As salam alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatu
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wa aleikum salam
I didn't quite understand the first post......i assumed he was commiting haram....dating ect? And if so, you seem to take it very lightly. SubhanAllah. Listen to the naseeha of sis Muslimah.
And as sis Muslimah said would you want this for your sister. A man came to the Prophet sallaAllahu alihi wa salam and said, I will accept Islam but i will continue to commit zina. And the Prophet said: Would you like this for your mother and the man said no, so he said would you like this for your sister and he said no. And he sws said would you like this for your daughter and the bedouin said no, so he sallaiAllahu alihi wa salam said So how can you like this for yourself?
Dan, the Prophet salliAllahu alihi wa salam said: A woman is married for four things: beauty, social position, lineage and religion. And marry the last so you may succeed.
May Allah subhana wa tala ease your circumstances.
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I think umm habeeba the first hadeeth you quoted is daeef, correct me if im wrong.
Allah knows best.
As stated before listen to the advice given from the Sister
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Assalam aleikum
JazakallahKhayren akhee, dae'eef you think so. I'll check and let you know.
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Salam
Firstly im not a he im a she. Secondly u said i tk things very lightly, wen u go onto the rite path u tend to do this. U dnt actually c wt ur doing wrong until after u have realised ur mistakes.
Inshallah i will follow wot sis muslimah has said.
Dan its good to see how sum1 can be so strong in thier faith deen to take such step in life. I just hope that i can became as strong as u and not tk the wrong steps in life again. And it is good to hear other peopls experiences to see how they cope with issues and to get thier views and opnions. inshallah i hope dat u stay as strong in faith as u r and dat Allah helps u to carry on. Ameen.
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