07-19-2007, 03:44 AM
<b>What to Do If…</b>
You feel depressed, frustrated, and miserabsle, and you’re losing self-confidence due to friends’ rejection, criticism, and mistreatment after your decision to wear the hijab?
Stick to Almighty Allah’s order to wear hijab. Following Almighty Allah’s order must have priority over any other order. At the same time be patient regardless of the hardships you may encounter, bearing in mind that true believers are always tested.
While striving steadfastly to be respected, accepted and well-treated by your surrounding community, do not forget that Almighty Allah is on your side and will support you till the result is for the good of Islam and the Muslims, Allah willing. Almighty Allah says: [And those who strive in Our (cause), We will certainly guide them to our Paths: For verily Allah is with those who do right] (Al-`Ankabut 29:69).
Stop worrying about the looks you get from the people. Then you will feel comfortable because whenever you pay attention to everyone around you and become obsessed with what those people must be thinking about the hijab, you will feel uncomfortable and even sick from worry.
You need to decide how important it is to you to observe a commandment of Allah the Most High even if it means that you will receive strange looks. Once you decide with conviction that it is more important for you to observe the hijab because wearing hijab pleases Allah the Most High, you will actually find yourself being able to walk with confidence.
Sister, return curious glances with a saluting smile; return an insult here or there, a negative comment, or ridiculing with firm, steadfast but still polite eye contact. Then move on and thank Allah the Most High that you are holding firmly to your belief, in an atmosphere that does not encourage you to do that
<b>What to Do If…</b>
Your boss at work does not allow you to wear hijab. What should you do?
The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “There is no obedience to anyone in disobedience to Allah.” In other words, you are not bound to obey your boss if he orders you to disobey Allah.
Since wearing hijab is a religious requirement in Islam, you are allowed to exercise this right in your work place. Wearing hijab is part and parcel of the Muslim woman’s religious and personal freedom. The observance of such freedoms is prescribed in modern constitutions, international agreements, and the Declaration of Human Rights. Your boss is not allowed to discriminate against you on that ground or force you to take off your hijab. If he does so, he is violating the laws of the land. This must be made clear to him.
As a Muslimah, therefore, you should never compromise your principles. If you cannot handle this issue by yourself, you may do well to get a letter from the Council on American-Islamic Relations if you are living in the United States or Canada, or refer to the directory to find support organizations that may help you in your case. Sending your boss a firm and clear message that what he is asking is a violation of law is usually enough to bring some sense to him.
<b>What to Do If…</b>
Your mother or father is badgering you continuously to take off your hijab. What should you do?
One thing must be clear; you are never allowed to be rude or impolite to your parents regardless of how harsh or hurtful their attitude towards you may be. Rather, you should show through practical examples that you still love them; speak to them gently and act kindly.
Bear hurtful words patiently; deal with them as Allah tells us to deal with the hurtful words of the ignorant ones: [When the ignorant address them, they walk away from them saying, “Peace”] (Al-Furqan 25:63)
Reinforce your determination to follow the truth by thinking of the transient nature of this world, and never lose sight of the fact that our final destination is meeting Allah in the next world.
Let remembrance of Allah (dhikr) be your constant companion. It will lessen your burden and give you joy and soothe your ailing heart.
Remind yourself continually about the struggles and sacrifices of the Messengers of Allah. It would be a good idea to read Surat Yusuf reflectively, as it embodies the constant struggle between truth and falsehood.
Use every opportunity to speak to your parents gently and persuasively to convince them of their wrong attitude. If they do not listen, don’t give up praying to Allah to open their hearts and guide them to the truth.
Do your best to be an example of modesty and decent behavior, all of which are extensions of a person wearing hijab. Perhaps through your struggle and steadfastness and the guidance from Allah the Most High, your parents’ attitudes may change. But do not become sad or disappointed if they do not.
Parents—especially those with a non-Western background—put great emphasis on their children’s obedience. Be obedient in all other aspects, except when it comes to disobeying the rules of Allah.
Try to get closer to your parents. Spend time in strengthening your relationship with them, especially your mother. Remember, people usually respond positively to requests of people they love and are strongly attached to. Ask her about her opinion in your choice of colors, shoes, dresses, and so on. Maybe she just wants to be sure that you stay well dressed and elegant. Or she may just be afraid that you won’t have any chance to marry one day, so explore her reasons for disapproving and try to tackle them by displaying real examples from your environment, but do not argue with her. Of course, this might be the crux of the problem and your mother might not think it is obligatory. Still, you should not argue with her or with your father. Respect them at all times. Choose a suitable time when she is calm and share the idea with her so that you show your belief that hijab is obligatory.
Finally, think about all other creative ways of persuading them like turning to someone who is more knowledgeable to talk to them or giving them a book that explains this issue.
<i>May Allah guide us and help us to become better Muslims, Ameen.</i>
