Dowry in islam

[NaSra]

Bismilah


Asalamalaikum


Naseeha


I'm sure whatever you choose for your wife, she'll love it and appreciate it naseeha.


What makes things so special and more beautiful is that someone that loves someone chooses it.


Khadeeja Wa'eyakum Sister....


I was making Ramdan cards for my friends & family, so I thought to make u 2 little something, I hope u two won't mind :D





Btw, I just wanted to say that Being Married is such a beautiful thing.......I cn't wait for u 2 to join the fun :D


Love,


NaSra

[naseeha]

THAT"S R GREAT WOOWW...


THANX NASRA


Truth be told.. I just cant wait to get married. I mean everything that comes with it amazing... Half you deen.


Alhamdulillah i found Khadeeja


the dowry thing still decided but time will tell insha allah


oh yeah naSra.. you spelled Naseeha with an extra S


but the pic is really cool..


thanx sis

[laian]

Salam alaikom,


My understanding is the purpose of the dowry is for the financial security of the woman, in case of divorce or God forbid her husband's death. The amount should be within the husband's means. Once given, the woman may use it as she likes.


I have heard of women asking for a lump sum, in any amount. I have also heard some great advice one sister gave another to ask for 1% of her husband's monthly salary. It doesn't sound like much, but over time it adds up. Plus whenever he gets a raise, so do you ;)


There are of course stories and even hadiths about women accepting memorization of Qur'an as a dowry. Certainly valid if the woman accepts it, but as far as I know it was accepted in the case of a very poor husband with nothing else to give. In the case of hajj as a dowry, in my opinion any Muslim man with a wife who has not been to hajj would certainly take her without it being a dowry.


I would recommend discussing your dowry (amount/item/whatever) and its purpose with your parents, imam, or wise sisters from your community in order to find what is right for you.


I <i>don't</i> recommend requesting a very small amount just because it feels weird asking for money. It is your right, and your husband's obligation, and it's for a reason -- so take it. (That said, Dan -- I think $3000 or $5000 is totally reasonable if it is within your means, when you consider it is meant to support your wife if she is on her own for some reason.)


The dowry is just another of the many ways Islam protects women, alhamdulillah.

[Kal]

All this just really does emphasise the importance that the husband have money before he weds.


I'm gonna finish my reading now, bye


*How To Rob A Bank: In Style*

[Dan]

Bismillah


As Salam alaikum


Woe... please do not take this discussion as needing money to get married. It is always within the means of the man. Please, please do not wait to get married because of financial considerations. This is against Islam.


*I just felt I had to say that in case you were only half kidding ")*


As Salam alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatu

[NaSra]

Asalamalaikum 2 all


Kal


My (uhmh hm to be) :)


<b>"Love don't cost a thing"..
</b>and I am not singing no jlo song ok :P :hello_kitty_sm_03:


You know I was listening to this sheikh one time who came to our mosque. ( Khalid yasin) and he was advising the parents that if their 13 and 15 year olds are thinking of marriage the parents should not disapprove. They should protect those 2 young people from committing zina and let them live under their home together ( Marry them). That it is better for them to do what they want halal and Have Allahs blessings in one of their rooms and have halal children then fool around because they can't afford anything and committ zina.


MashaAllah what a wonderful advice. I actually know of one couple that are married that way now, the wife lives with the husbands parents and they both go to high school.


Alhamdulilah its just temporary until the brother gets a job.


Imagine the rewards that those parents will earn from Allah, by protecting those two young people from many evil things.


InshaAllah Mahmud all your dreams will come true soon. :biggrinlove:


Naseeha


I am glad u like it Bro....Yeah I added the S to make it catchy :D, ask us anythign else u want....

Code:

*I just felt I had to say that in case you were only half kidding ")*

That boy, kids so much, sometimes when he's not kidding, I think he is kidding...but then again u never know :wavey:


Masalama, evr1

[Kal]

Love doesnt cost a thing, but I grew quickly out of thinking you could marry just with love in your wallet. But seriously, im in a situation where i can wait a few years and then marry, its not like im living on the streets but i certainly cant support myself let alone a family (which would be my duty islamically anyway, hah..no pressure there then lol)

[NaSra]

Love doesnt cost a thing, but I grew quickly out of thinking you could marry just with love in your wallet. But seriously, im in a situation where i can wait a few years and then marry, its not like im living on the streets but i certainly cant support myself let alone a family (which would be my duty islamically anyway, hah..no pressure there then lol)

Salam Lil Brotha


Hang in there Brotha, many have been in ur situation.


There are solutions InshaAllah.


I wil log out of here, and catch up with you later (on msn).


Peace N Love

[aisha-uk]

Salam Alaikum


Well when i married my husband, i wasn't a muslim, I didn't have a clue what Islam was all about... My husband had spoken about dowry several times, but i refused to take any money from him... Anyway when we were at the mosque, the Imam asked me what I wanted and was shocked that I didn't want anything, so they forced me to take a minimum of £50, which i did.. I felt it was so weird taking that money, I just wanted to marry him... 1 year later his family invited me and our daugther to his country where they paid for all expenses, MashaAllah.. Although it was really hard for them to understand that i have a different culture and not used to having people splashing around with money, Alhamdulillah all went well


Just wanted to share this with you guys :)


Wa Salam


Aisha UK

[naseeha]

Well lemme give u all a lil story of what eventually helped me make the decision to take the leap and ask Khadeeja


I come from the typical western culture that says 25 is the ideal age to get married. I always wanted to marry young, but I had this idea in mind that I should be at least able to survive in order to have a wife. This meant having my own home, a car and all that. So I just never decided to take the leap.


One day (before I bought my car) I took a ride with this guy, a young muslim guy who I had just met from the masjid. While going in his car, we started to talk of the issue of marriage.


This guy started to tell me about his experience with marriage. He told me of how much he loved this muslimah and how much he didnt want to sin. He saved himself all his life and didnt want to fall into sin.


He went on to tell me about his relationship with his wife (of course not thie intimate details). He agreed that marriage has it's downsides, but said that most of the downsides that he's experienced were small nonsensical things that often turned out big. But in the final analysis, he said that the amazing feeling that comes from being unconditionally loved, knowing that you have someone there at home waiting for you, someone who's heart will be at ease when she sees you home safe at the end of theday, this feeling made it all worth while.


He agreed that as long as you trust in Allah, marrying young will be ok. No need for worries about poverty.


Furthermore, in my opinion, if two people get married in spite of hardship, and they work through that hardship together and move on in life together, their relationship will be far greater due to this struggle. As opposed to bringing a spouse into a luxurious home and as soon as hard times hit you he/she cant take it and leaves.


Anyways, after speaking to this guy, I went on and asked for Khadeeja's hand in marriage.


My encounter with this guy was so profound. I mean, the things that he said and the way that he said it really had a huge impact on me. I was like WOOOOWW amazing.


But it showed me two things


- the importance of marriage


- Sometimes, it's the little things that we do that makes an impact on people, if we give sincere advice on something that we are passionate about. Something that's serious to us, we can change lives. It follows therefore, that if we are passionate about islam in our own heart, we can have the opportunity to make a change in someone's life, and this my dear brothers and sisters, is better than the world and everything it contains.


Anyways. that was all a little off topic but i just wanted to share my view on marrying young.


wa salaam all


naseeha.


btw: Khadeeja and I are still stuck about the dowry thing :)