Is it Haraam to fall in love with a women.

[waheedrafiq]

I have very stupid question to ask but never less I must ask as this will effect in in due course of life


What I would like to ask is , is it haraam to fall in love with a girl before marriage even thought you have not committed harraam ie never slept or touch any part of the body that you would normally be allow to after marriage.


If so then how are you suppose to fall in love with the women of your life.


And can some explain we we are told in paradise you will have hoors ie women of paradise is this your wife in this life if not what will happen to her in paradise.


Like is said I normally do come across some of the most stupid questions but then that’s me .


Many thanks


Once again brothers and sister reply back with quote from the Quran I need to know what suran you are refer to.


:lailahaillallah:

[Muslimah]

Bismillah


waalykom as salam Waheed


First off, you never come up with stupid questions, why are u under such impression?


Actually u touch upon important aspects of life that occupies the mind of all of us.


This same issue came to my mind but in a different way, based on which Alhamdulelah Allah Assisted me to prepare the following reply:


----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Praise be to Allah, Rub of the Worlds King of the Kings Owner of the universe, prayer and peace be upon His Messenger Mohamed, his household and companions.


"And among His Signs is this, that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find repose in them, and He has put between you affection and mercy. Verily, in that are indeed signs for a people who reflect." (Quran 30:21)


This Ayah occupied my mind since more than 8 years ago, I kept asking myself, Allah's promise is so clear and direct. Allah Say, and Truthful Is the Saying of Allah, He has put between you affection and mercy. I kept wondering to myself why do I see many marriages certainly lacking this important factor. Actually this is a basic aspect in any marriage. To be blessed with affection and mercy between the spouses.


Only sometime ago, I thought that if the marriage was established based on what only Pleases Allah, then the promise of Allah shall be fulfilled.


Let me try and explain this in simple language. When one wants to meet day to day needs, including education, food, clothing, medical expenses, housing …etc. One has two options. Either work for it through legitimate means as Allah Commanded us to or steel, accept bribery, and a long list of illegitimate behaviour.


Do you expect the outcome of such illegitimate behaviour to be blessed from Allah, to in turn bring about more blessed fruit? Of course not, usually you see the relations in such families not stable, the person in trouble with the sin is always suffering a discomfort feeling, heavy chest, uneasy surrounding. Children are not blessed, not maintaining a kind attitude towards the parents as they are supposed to be. Like wise, even committed Muslims these days do fall into the trap of shaytan who decorates the idea of being in love before marriage. Making it almost necessary. When you talk to a committed girl who observes the Islamic dress code, she would tell you of course I want to marry a devout man, but I need to know him first, make sure we are compatible, make sure we think alike, take a grasp on his personality. She continues, do you expect me to marry someone I don’t know at all? They tend to forget that people go into relations for years, they even go to bed together and then marry and fail. Unless we go for the love that Allah Puts after marriage it cann't work. Actually, what happens is that Shyatan does put this firing feeling between the man and woman, blows it high enough to make it occupy their minds and hearts, they both turn to be center of attention of each other. The girl starts sitting on the couch eating pop corn with her friends and trying to analyze whether or not he is serious, O he texted me today, no he didn’t wake me up today. And here is him talking to his friend O she is devout she wakes me up for fajr, you think she really likes me, you think it is time to propose to her, or should I hold on more. But this does not exclude the possibility of them exchanging words like I missed you, I love you and so forth. This type of communication is certainly not accepted to Allah. Through this, they go for marriage. But of course with the love which was not instilled by Allah but rather by shaytan. In such case, Allah Leaves the couple in order to try and attain these feelings. Just exactly when you turn to other than Allah to handle any of your affairs.


What actually happens is that either parties feel a need to have been able to attract the other gender. This does not stand as legitimate base for marriage in Islam. Yes we must be attracted to each other, yes we must have a basic liking for each other, yes parents must take girls opinion whether or not she accepts the male as partner so is the male is encouraged to look for whatever may attract him in the woman so that she would be sufficient for him to lower the gaze so is the woman. But to turn this into a goal of how to attract, how to keep the person, how to strive to turn the relation into something serious. This would be wasting time and effort in what does not please Allah. No matter how long the couple get to know each other, marriage is totally different as a relation. Love and mercy comes only from Allah to the married couple not the unmarried who are involved in a relation. I was discussing this wiht a number of young girls right now, they said but Allah also is the One Who brings hearts together. Yes of course, but the basic liking before marriage is more than enough to go for it, no need to extend it into more time to analyze the character, using your own analytical abilities or in depth judgment. Once you felt the need to do this rather than seeking Allah's Help to put the mercy and affection, this is when the danger starts.


And I assure you brothers and sisters shaytan is so clever to the extend that he can easily affect the most pious people. So just close the door, go for marriage, don’t fear lack of understanding because Allah Promised to put this between the married couple who approach this the way Allah Pleases.


Alhamdulelah Rubel a`lameen and prayer and peace be upon His Messenger

[Muslimah]

As for how to go for the woman of your life, is someone u trust knows a good woman that he/she sees adequate, they can arrange a meeting between both of u with someone present of course. You can talk and exchange ideas, it is the firt impression that is important. if the first impression is positive at both sides, this is Insh aAllah enough to go for marriage. Allah Shall Bless the marriage and protect both parties. I dont mean that u marry someone u dont like in any way, not we are encourage to marry those whom we like. A man must like her looks so she does. Understanding and all will only come from Allah after marriage, believe me waheed.


As for the hur of jannah, your wife in this life will be your wife Insh aAllah in jannah.


The hur to my understanding are those creatures from jannah. and Allah knows best

[alliex]

Assalam allikum,


Thanks Musllimah this really spoke to me. waheedrafiq, you didn't ask a stupid question, I think you'll find a lot of people are very intrested in this subject.

And can some explain we we are told in paradise you will have hoors ie women of paradise is this your wife in this life if not what will happen to her in paradise.

The above question that Waheedrafiq asked hasn't been answered as yet. Does any one know the answer. I am quiet intrested to know.


Well please keep us posted.


Wasalam

[Suhail]

Thank you very much for your excellent explanation Muslimah some of your points made mr think carefully about my own relationship........


I guess wot they say is true Love does blind you .......

[Muslimah]

Bismillah


Alhamdulelah alliex and Suhail all Praise be to Allah and Credit is to Allah.


Suhail u know u can contact me any time if I can help pls dont hesitate.


Your project acutally sparked an idea, we can actually turn Usma into a youth councilling section, i m sure some of our members can Insh aAllah help. Matter of fact, if u ask me Muslim youth are very important to me to help.


alliex, I think i answered the question, the wife in this dunia will be the wife in jannah, however, she will turn back young and very beautiful alomst as beutiful as hur. Yet, if I m not mistaken the woman who married more than one time in her life will be given a choice as to with she would prefer to be in Jannah.


We can still dig more on this topic.


where is waheed. :scratch:

[alliex]

Assalam Allikum,


Muslimah thank you.


Wasalam

[PUPPET]

<b>a Mans wife in this world will be his QUEEN in Heaven</b>


:asalam:


‘O Nabi (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam), are the women of this world superior or the hurs?’


He replied, ‘The women of this world will have <b>superiority over the hurs </b> just as the outer lining of a garment has superiority over the inner lining.’ Umm-e-Salma (Radhiallaahu Anhu) then asked, ‘O Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam), what is the reason for this?’ He answered, ‘Because they performed Salaat, fasted and worshipped Allah. Allah will put light on their faces and silk on their bodies. (the human women) will be fair in complexion and will wear green clothing and yellow jewellery. Their incense-burners will be made of pearls and their combs will be of gold. They will say, ‘We are the women who will stay forever and we will never die. We are the women who will always remain in comfort and we will never die. We are the women who will always remain in comfort and we will never undergo difficulty. We are the women who will stay and we will never leave. Listen, we are happy women and we will never become sad. Glad tidings to those men for whom we are and who are for us.’


She then asked, ‘A women of this world married two, three or four husband in this world, then dies and enters Jannah with them, who will be her husband?’ Nabi (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) answered, ‘O Umm-e-Salma (Radhiallaahu Anhu), she will be allowed to choose between them, so she will choose the one with the best character. She will say to Allah, O Allah, this husband displayed the best character to me in the world, so marry him to me.’ Nabi (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) further added, ‘O Umm-e-Salma, good character has gained (for him) the excellence of this world and the hereafter.’

[waheedrafiq]

wow so many replies , i can't beleive it . going back to my question where does it say in the quran brother and sisters that your wife in this world will be your hur in the jannah and i have a very complex question to ask , what happens to those young men and women who have been force marrage and have full fill they duties in this world to they current wife as they had no choice. but really wanted to choose a wife of they own choice ? if you see what i am getting at.

[Muslimah]

Bismillah


as salam alykom waheed


Insh a Allah i will try my best with Allah's Guidance to reply to your question.


let me first rephrase it, you are asking about man/woman who was forced to marry someone they didnt want to. But they did observe Allah's Limits in dealing with the spouse.


Well Allah Say may you hate something and Allah puts in it much good.


"And live with them honourably. If you dislike them, it may be that you dislike a thing and Allah brings through it a great deal of good (Quran 4:19)


Thus, even if one does not really love the spous, yet did observe Allah's limits, treated the spouse. IN such case, you are actually treating the person in the name of Allah, doing so for the sake of Allah, regardless u love the person or not. The whole situation is dedicating one's life to Allah which we are all supposed to do. What do u think waheed, do u doubt that Allah Shall reward the person who accepted Allah's Decree, treated the spouse in the name of Allah, fulfilled one's duty? do u doubt the immense reward Allah Shall give this person? actually this is the real test, because in such case one is not treating the other person nicely because of love but rather only for Allah's Sake.


May Allah Reward all of us for being patient when we can.