Men In Islam

[laian]

Assalamu alaikum all my brothers and sisters,


I just thought I would bring up this topic for everyone to discuss because I think it is interesting. In one of my writing classes I am writing an essay on the topic of gender. When I was first assigned the topic I thought of course! I can write about women in Islam!


But as I began brainstorming ideas, I realized the topic of women in Islam has soooooo been done before and there's not much new that I could say. But the topic of MEN in Islam is barely even heard of! All we hear about muslim men is that they are evil terrorists who beat their wives (astaghfirAllah!)


So I decided I will write my essay about the REAL men in Islam, and how being a "real man" in Islam is SO much different from being a "real man" in America.


In America, a "real man" has a big truck, big muscles, big paycheck, and can have as many women as he wants.


How awful.


In Islam, a "real man" greets his brothers warmly with kisses and hugs, respectfully lowers his gaze around women, remains chaste with his wife, supports his family, and encourages them to be good, pious muslims.


How beautiful!


Anyway, I have so many ideas in my head, but I don't want to just write my essay right now. I am hoping that some of you will have some ideas about the differences you've seen between "real" muslim men and "real" american men.


If nobody minds, I would possibly like to quote some of your responses in my essay, if you don't want me to just let me know. InshaAllah I'll post my essay when I finish it, it's due in 2 weeks.


Anyway I thought this would be an interesting topic! Let me know what you think.


salam alaikum

[Anyabwile]

So I decided I will write my essay about the REAL men in Islam, and how being a "real man" in Islam is SO much different from being a "real man" in America.


In America, a "real man" has a big truck, big muscles, big paycheck, and can have as many women as he wants.


How awful.


In Islam, a "real man" greets his brothers warmly with kisses and hugs, respectfully lowers his gaze around women, remains chaste with his wife, supports his family, and encourages them to be good, pious muslims.


How beautiful!

Just to emphasise the point you made above really. In Islam it's nice to see a brother who will greet you with Asalaam Alaikum and a warm hand shake. Sometimes even an embrace, as a revert for me it was strange at first but it's such a nice feeling.


One thing i like is when i'm coming home from work say, in my work clothes and i see a brother who's obviously, and greet him with Assalamu alaikum. His eyes'll light up and a big smile and normally th eresponse is "Oh you're Muslim? Assalamu Alaikum brother!!!" Then we're off talking about me being a revert etc etc. In the African-British community here in the UK amongst the older people, as a young African-British guy you can nod in the direction of the older African-British people and they'll greet you with a smile or a nod back. Kind of a nod of respect, but it doesn't exist much within the younger generation here anymore. But in Islam, no matter what age you are, color, race etc etc, if you're Muslim, then you're Muslim and that's it!


I've been told of an Masjid in my area that don't take to well to reverts who aren't Indian or Pakistani, Kashmiri. Also of course some Muslims would no doubt hold racist views. But are they Muslims? They're certainly not following the words of the Prophet (Peace and Blessings be upon him) and the words of the Qur'an if they are so...whether to include them or not in this i don't know.


But yeh in summing up i'd say the best thing so far as a Muslim man i've seen in other Muslim men is the brotherhood. My Masjid is a mixture of all races, never seen anything like it. There were brothers almost crying for me when i pronounced my Shahada and i don't even know them. I know the western idea of men smiling at teach other or shaking hands / embracing in a friendly way is considered strange, it was unusual to me at first. But to think that it was strange to me because these fellow men were friendly shows just how twisted growing up in an un Islamic envioronment is. Over here getting drunk is normally as far as any kind of positive interaction between men goes. And for someone who never drank a drop of Alcohol even before he was Muslim, you can see how i was seen as a weirdo. My nickname was "the grandad" amongst people i knew cos i was never interested in going out drinking or clubbing. In Islam and the male community it's the direct opposite, love of Allah (Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala) brings us together as brothers, not love of drink / football or disresepcting women. Even now when i'm offered things for free from brothers it still takes a while to get used to.


Hope this helps

[Muslimah]

Bismillah


as salam alykom


Ok Laian this is my favourite topic. u know why? because just as the women issue is largely distorted so is the men issue or men image in Islam. usually people think he is a frowned man who orders around his wife, locking her in.


A man in Islam is supposed to be responsible about his household, honest in his work, I have many hadeeth on that Insh a Allah I will post them to u as soon as possible and I certainly dont mind u quoting me ....... if I will say something useful

[Rehmat]

Hmmmm! Let us hear from my good Jewish Dr. Henry Makow, PhD on this subject:


People stumble over the word "obey." The equation is power for love. A woman agrees to obey a man when she becomes his wife. She thus becomes part of him and is included in his sense of self. Naturally he wants to nurture and see her happy. I would consider my marriage a failure if my wife weren't happy.


The knowledge of how to be a man has been suppressed by the clique. Growing up, I had no idea how to relate to women or how to become a man. This standard has been the same for centuries: A man prepares himself to provide for a wife and children and to give them physical and spiritual leadership.


Women want love. Men want power. Marriage is the exchange of the two. If either fails to keep the bargain, the marriage is over. Women are victims of an insidious lesbian campaign to rob them of their femininity and ability to love. The clique does not have their welfare at heart. Their teachers, media figures, politicians are either traitors or dupes. They are part of a conspiracy to centralize power in the hands of the super rich. This is what "globalization" is about. This is behind the war in Iraq – to “liberate” the Muslim women from family life.


The religion-hating elites can assert control only by dividing, destabilizing and depopulating society. It's time to re-establish the natural heterosexual balance. It's time for the sexes to come together, for men to be men and women to be women.

[Muslimah]

Bismillah


as salam alykom


In Islam a man is a father, son, brother, husband, neighbor, employer, employee, co worker, business owner, artisan, trader and more. In each of such capacities he is required to assume certain responsibilities, while concurrently have of course rights. Of course the resposnisilities of a father are totally different from those of a husband and so on.


However, to sum up and be concise. A Muslim man is one who is trying to abide by Quran and Sunnah as much as possible while dealing with others whatever his capacity is. He must take Quran and Sunnah as ground for his behaviour among the Muslim community. He must always bear in mind that Allah's Rights are first and foremost to be fulfilled, thru these rights he will be able to attain Allah's Satisfaction which leads to a smooth life in this world and the best in the Day After.


A Muslim man is one for example who knows that Allah Say:


"And say to My slaves (i.e. the true believers of Islamic Monotheism) that they should (only) say those words that are the best. (Because) Shaytan (Satan) verily, sows disagreements among them. Surely, Shaytan (Satan) is to man a plain enemy." (Quran 17:53)


Which is further explained thru the following hadeeth:


Narrated Jaber that the Messenger Salla Allah a`lyhee wa sallam said:" The most loved to me and closest to me in sitting position among you in the Day of Resurrection is the best in mannerism, and the most hated to me and most far in the position of sitting position on the Day of Resurrection are the talkative, one who uses bad language and show off while talking with people and those who are arrogant" (reported by Sunan Termidhi)


As u may see this is a general mannerism advice on any capacity or role a man plays. On another hadeeth Narrated Mo`adh that the Messenger Salla Allah a`lyhee wa sallam said: O Mo`adh follow the bad deed with a good deed to eliminate it and adopt good mannerism in dealing with people" (reporeted with Ahmed).


This is all I can think of for the time being, may be I can come later Insh a Allah and call our brothers to participate.