Tips for Teens on How to Handle Pornography

[Muslimah]

It’s hard, especially when you’re a teenager and bombarded with images of sexuality: that hot-looking scantily clad guy or gal in the magazine, grinning at you and luring you; or the persistent emphasis on sex in the movies (even Toy Story!); or the pervasive links to pornography and ad banners that pop up while you may simply be checking your e-mail or researching something for school. How does a young Muslim protect him or herself from all of this? Below are some tips that can help:

Tip 1. Know what is Halal (lawful) and what’s not

We may think only hard core pornography is Islamically unacceptable. This is not true. Improperly dressed men and women, sexual situations, foreplay, kissing, touching, dirty jokes: none of these are Islamically acceptable. Talk to a trusted Muslim friend, family member of the same gender or an Imam about this. Bring it up and ask them to give you the Islamic perspective.

Tip 2. Remember your accountability to Allah

In America and some other countries, you’re fully responsible for your actions when you turn 18. In Islam, you’re fully accountable as soon as you understand these things. So that means that from that point onwards, you cannot assume looking at this stuff is no big deal. Your eyes will testify about what you looked at on the Day of Judgment. Remember that Allah is always watching. He is Most Just and Merciful, and He rewards us for the good and punishes us for the bad we do.

Tip 3. Become conscious of the Haram (unlawful)

Too often, it’s easy to dismiss that billboard with the spandex-and-bikini-top-clad blonde girl advertising gum, or the guy in tight leather pants and no shirt advertising perfume. When you see it, remember the Islamic perspective, your accountability to Allah, and lower your gaze. Do the same for television and the internet. If you keep doing this, insha-Allah, it’ll become a habit, and eventually an automatic reaction.

Tip 4. If feeling overwhelmed, remember Allah

In situations where you feel overwhelmed and can’t get yourself to switch the channel, close the browser window or turn your eyes away from the billboard, ask Allah’s help. You don’t necessarily need any heavy duty, long Dua's. "La hawla wa la quwwata illa billah" (there is no power or ability except with Allah) is short, simple, and reminds you who is really in control and can help you out of this.

Tip 5. Seek refuge in Allah from Shaitan

Shaitan lured you into this mess. Seeking refuge in Allah (saying awthu/awoozoo billahi minash Shaitan ir rajeem), will help you resist him and his whisperings to continue looking at the material.

Tip 6. Get up and leave

If you feel unable to control looking at the screen or the magazine, leave the situation. Get out of the living room, your bedroom where the internet is, or where you’ve been reading the magazine. Take a walk. Just do something to physically get out of the situation.

Tip 7. Avoid those involved in pornography

If one of your friends is into pornographic magazines, websites, dirty jokes etc. either help him or her change through gentle and sincere advice, or abandon frequent contact with them. Their compulsion will affect you, so it’s best to stay as far away as possible, by remembering the danger to yourself, your Deen, and your relationship with Allah.

Tip 8. Stay away from places where it’s found

Sometimes it’s on a billboard on a highway and you can’t miss it. But often times, you’ll notice certain parts of your city (the seedier ones) tend to be filled with this kind of material (where there are usually strip joints, for example). Avoid these places as much as you can. If it’s on your way to school, try to change your route. Also, in summer, stay away from the beach.

Tip 9. Surf or watch TV when others are around

The temptation to sneak a look at dirty pictures or that bikini-clad babe is heightened when you’re alone in your room watching television or surfing the internet. Try to avoid late night TV and internet surfing. Instead, watch or surf when others are around so you can resist the urge to sneak a peek, thinking no one’s watching (and remember Allah is always watching). It is a good idea not to have TV or computer in the bedroom anyway. Living room or study room is a better place for this stuff.

Tip 10. Remember your example

If you have younger brothers and sisters, think of the bad example you’re setting for them. What message will they get if they barge into your room and catch you watching Baywatch or flipping through Playboy.

Tip 11. For brothers, remember your mom and sister

Disgusting right? Exactly. No one in his right mind would look at his mom or sister the way many of us look at the Baywatch babes or the girls on the internet or in magazines. Remember mom and your sister, and that should sicken you enough to stop, insha-Allah.

Tip 12. Have someone watch over you

If you really feel you’re becoming addicted to this kind of material, try to watch TV, surf the internet with someone else. You don’t have to tell them why you’re doing this, but this method can perhaps keep you in check and help you avoid looking at pornography or other similar material. After all, Shaitan tempts us most easily when we’re alone. Sitting in the company of a family member or good Muslim friend will insha Allah, help.

Tip 13. Fast

The Prophet (p.b.u.h.) advised us to fast to cool passions. This should be a method we use to handle the desire aroused by pornography and similar material.

Tip 14. Do Tawba and return to Allah

If you do end up watching the bad stuff, repent to Allah. Seek His forgiveness, reaffirm your faith in Him, and do good deed to compensate for that sin. He is All-Forgiven as long as you are sincere.

Tip 15. Repent again and fine yourself

If you lapse, do tawba again. Allah is All-Forgiving as long as we mean it. But then you need to discipline yourself by promising to yourself that if I did it again, I will pay this much in charity or fast for a day.

The message is that don’t give up on yourself. Keep trying. Struggle is life. Shaitan could be creative. And with the help of Allah, you will be the winner insha Allah.

http://www.islamicfinder.org/articl...mp;lang=english

[masriahmuslimah]

Asalam~O~Alykum

Ur absolutely right. Here in the USA everything must involve sex even in the smallest things like on Milk bottles. Here in the USA they dont sell anything without a woman's body on it. At school al7amduallahh me an my friend avoid those kind of things. Like when 2 ppl in the hall way kissing each other we close our eyes and we say estakhfire allah, but the poor thing is that some of ppl who r Arabs and Muslims do things like kissing a gurl/boy. Or holdings hands with them. That just breaks my heart. Al7amduallah me and my friends some times we walk up 2 them and talk them about it in private. Al7amduallah that seems 2 work. I hope they stay this way even when we r not looking. Plz ppl who will read this make dua'a for me and my friends so that allah will help us spread Islam and help or fellow brothers/sisters to come back to the right path.

Salam~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Masriahmuslimah

[Ali]

AssalaamoalaikuM

Sexual Promiscuity is on the rise, not only in the West, but mostly through out the world. Actually this is just one of the dajjali fitnahs, which are falling in to make way for Dajjal.

Our sight is a gift from Allah, and we should only use it in halal way. Desire should not be fed, but only thru Halal way, and succumbing to desires and falling into haram just makes these desires go out of control.

-- Ali

[Ali]

That just breaks my heart

When I was new in the US, I saw a girl and a boy indulging in haram acts, and immediatly lowered my gaze. But what broke my heart was that... the girl was a daughter of a muslim (perhaps herself was a muslim!) ... I was devastated

But still there exist muslims who walk with lowered gaze, and live with peace of mind, thinking that they are just submitting themselves to Allah's will.

May Allah save us from following into these traps of shaytan.

-- Ali

[hefny]

Aslaam alikum

Simply we can do what we like even if we kill ourselves

Like every body saying freedom

But for example if you get drank or under drags you by your own choice by our freedom we can kill ourselves or others as it actually happened with many others because they were out of mind and out of control

At least if they did not kill someone they could do things that themselves can be ashamed of it like doing sex with their sons or daughters or stealing form their relative

I am giving the above example to see clearly how we human Muslim or non Muslim can hurt themselves

The same thing happen when we see sexual pictures we got effected and our mood, behaviors & interest could be changed automatically without feeling that something happened

Even when you want to get married your choice will be according to non-Muslim style due to the changes happened to your heart & believe

Even some of Muslims if they don’t have boyfriend or girl friend they feel depressed why because other they do have

Allah know us better and he know what will keep us as good Muslims and what will not for sure

So we have to obey Allah and (PSAW)

I hope my message is cleared that Allah love us and has mercy on us therefore when he command us to avoid watching those pictures and other evils acts this is for our true safety and happiness in future

[masriahmuslimah]

Asalam~O~Alykum

U r sooooooo right. That's y we must avoid these things as much as we can. That's y we must keep our selves busy by doing things for Allah and for the sake of Allah.

Salam~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Masriahmuslimah