Just questions

[aldhahri]

:bismillah: :jazaak:


Asalamo3lukom Everyone!!


i have some questions:


is music haram?? i personally think it is, but whenever any one puts it on its just like i dont know what to say to them cause you need a clear hadith or something in the Quran that proves that its haram, so if you know any websites that go into this topic could you tell me or if you some hadiths.


love towerd the oppsite sex: how haram is it to look at there "ewrat" ( the places were not meant to see )?


is it natural to feel attracted to the oppsite sex?


is it haram to see someone kissing/hugging ?? (like when your whatching t.v.)


is it haram to look at someone you like??


is it haram to wear pants?? if so please give me a daleel that proofs that it is haram.


when someone makes you mad as a muslim what should you do??patinance were does it come from/ how do you get it.


are there any good books or websites of the prophet :saws2: or the prophets companions??


how importent is praying on time?? if there are any nice stories on praying on time please share them.


i need pointers on how to give "nasauh" i always want to tell people things to help them but when ever i try to do that it sounds like im trying to be rude to the other person.


thank you for taking the time to read this please post back!!: jazaak:

[Muslimah]

Bismillah


wa alykom as salam warahamtullah wa barakatuh


Phew, what a post. How many questions let me see :) 10 :peace: and each one of them needs a whole book.


Let us take them one by one and Insh aAllah i also hope other brothers and sisters will help here.


1. Opposite sex:


love towerd the oppsite sex: how haram is it to look at there "ewrat" ( the places were not meant to see )?


Yes it is haram, and it is even haram to look at the a`warat among the same sex.


For male the a`wara area is between the buttoc and knees.


For female is the same.


In other words, when a man looks at another man or a woman looks at another woman. The above mentioned are the restricted parts that should not be revealed even among the same sex.


if u give me more time, Insh aAllah slowly will get the hadeeth.


is it natural to feel attracted to the oppsite sex? o course. That is why we should lower our gazea as in Quran.


"Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts, etc.). That is purer for them. Verily, Allah is All-Aware of what they do.* And tell the believing women to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts, etc.) and not to show off their adornment except only that which is apparent (like palms of hands or one eye or both eyes for necessity to see the way, or outer dress like veil, gloves, head-cover, apron, etc.), and to draw their veils all over Juyubihinna (i.e. their bodies, faces, necks and bosoms, etc.) and not to reveal their adornment except to their husbands, their fathers, their husband's fathers, their sons, their husband's sons, their brothers or their brother's sons, or their sister's sons, or their (Muslim) women (i.e. their sisters in Islam), or the (female) slaves whom their right hands possess, or old male servants who lack vigour, or small children who have no sense of the shame of sex. And let them not stamp their feet so as to reveal what they hide of their adornment. And all of you beg Allah to forgive you all, O believers, that you may be successful." (Quran 24:30-31)


is it haram to see someone kissing/hugging ?? (like when your whatching t.v.)


Yes it goes under lowering the gaze from whatever is haram.


is it haram to look at someone you like??


Again lowering the gaze, since u started liking the person, looking at this person may steer emotions and feelings that are not proper. The person is not a spouse. Allah Commands us to stop such acts from the very beginning but not even looking in order to avoid such problems.


Insh a Allah the rest will be attended to bit by bit.

[aldhahri]

:assalam:


what if u see them doing something good (e.g. helping in the mosque or taking care of little kids or holding doors open for other people) and you appreciate it and like them for what they did.


so basically u like that person cause they did something good, i mean its sort of hard if your living in areas like the U.K. not to look at man cause u have to deal with them in your daily lives, and when someone does something good just to show them they did something good and people appreciate it you would look at them with approval.


did the prophet's :saws2: companions ever encounter anything like this (with the whole love thing)


if there are any inspiring hadiths or "auat" or stories i would love to hear them!!


thank you and :jazaak: !!

[Muslimah]

:bismillah:


wa alykom as salam


Pls accept my apology for being late to come back here again


I understand your point, it is also hard to be any where around the world without being in contact with men somehow or the other. Even at the time of the Messenger, women did have communication with men.


For instance, the Ayah of:


And perform the prayer at the two ends of the day and in some hours of the night [i.e. the five compulsory prayers]. Verily, the good deeds remove the evil deeds (i.e. small sins). That is a reminder (an advice) for the mindful (those who accept advice). (Quran 11:104)


was revealed when a woman went to a date seller in the market, he lied to her about better quality dates in his house to take her there. When she went with him to get the merchandise, he was able to kiss her. She seriously admonished him and reminded him of Allah. He was very regretful that he couldnt take the guilt. He went to Abu Bakr and told him, Abu Bakr asked him did you tell anyone? he said no. Abu Bakr said then cover up yourself and just keep quite. Still he couldnt take the guilt, went and asked Omar, Omar replied did you tell anyone? He said yes Abu Bakr, Omar said what did he tell you, he said to keep quite and not tell others. Omar wacked him on the chest and said then why did you tell me? But the man was feeling terrible. He went to the masjed, prayed Asr in congregation. Then asked the Messenger salla Allah a`lyhee wa sallam. The Messenger looked very sad and gazed down to the floor saying I have nothing for you. The man turned away and started walking in despair. That is when Allah Revealed to the Messenger salla Allah a`lyhee wa sallam this Ayah as a remedy. The Messenger called salla Allah a`lyhee wa sallam called the man and told him that as long as he prayed Asr in congregation Allah Forgave him. He asked is this remedy or solution only for me or the Ummah in general, the Messenger salla Allah a`lyhee wa sallam replied for the Ummah.


In other words, we are suseptible to meet and communicate with men. But we also must maintain the attitude ordained in Quran and Sunnah. As we must not talk in a seductive manner, we must use straight voices, we must only restrict to the minimum amount of talking needed.


As for looking at the person for what they do, if it is only that we respect their action, we make dua for them to conitnue, to be better, to improve and for other brothers to follow.


We try our best not to let this look be covered with satan inspiration. If it happens, we just strive to cease thinking about the person and get ourselves busy with anything.


I m not sure if i answered your point, if not I will be happy to try more aldhahri :)

:assalam:


what if u see them doing something good (e.g. helping in the mosque or taking care of little kids or holding doors open for other people) and you appreciate it and like them for what they did.


so basically u like that person cause they did something good, i mean its sort of hard if your living in areas like the U.K. not to look at man cause u have to deal with them in your daily lives, and when someone does something good just to show them they did something good and people appreciate it you would look at them with approval.


did the prophet's :saws2: companions ever encounter anything like this (with the whole love thing)


if there are any inspiring hadiths or "auat" or stories i would love to hear them!!


thank you and :jazaak: !!

[aldhahri]

:assalam: thank u for answering back that does make sense


well i have sisters and they are always talking about guys from school like guy teachers or boys that go to the school sometimes they would just say stuff like hes so cute or sometimes they would be making fun of them ( not about there apperance but about things that they did ) im not sure if its haram and everytime i tell them to change the subject they would say well its not haram to talk about it.


how do u "ansah" someone without being rude im 14 and i have to older sisters one is 18 and the other is 16 its hard to make them change there mind and sometimes i find myself more strict about prayers then my parents

[aldhahri]

thank u

[Muslimah]

Bismillah


as salam alykom aldhahri


Mash a Allah may Allah Increase u in Eman and Taqwa and Assist u always to do what is right and avoid what is wrong.


Well as for this particular situation which we all face somehow or the other in our life, try to be as kind as possible when they start by nicely reminding them that if u start liking someone by seening them as cute, that switches the red light on. That is why Allah Commanded us to lower our gazes. Then u may jokingly say O girls dont start that, i didnt even notice the guy so dont attract my attention to him. Or for example give example about yourself as saying imagine girls yesterday accidently I was watching TV and so and so came on, O I felt that I will start being attracted so I tried to control myself and changed the channel. Try to go on like, girls it really takes time to be trained to do so, but we all need to. Dont give naseeha like a direct firm one as partonizing, but make yourself part of the problem and want to get rid of it. people tend to reject direct and rough advice but lean towards sharing and feeling that they are not suffering on their own. However, u need to be very careful as not to get carried out in giving naseeha and feeling happy you are helping others that u unintentionaly get caught in what u dont want to do. There is a thin line my dear sister.


As long as one sees a guy cute this is the beginning of what we dont want to come to. Other stuff such as they did this or that is categoried as ghayba specially if what u mentioned those poeple would like to cover. If they dont stop, just leave the place and go, at the beginning people would think u r a bit tough, but then at least they will get used to u that u dont accept this attitude and will not do it in your presence. I understand in your age u need company and friends but dont let this need overshadow your need to Please Allah. U may remind them also nicely but this.


May Allah protect u

[aldhahri]

:assalam:


that is so true the best way to give a "naseeah" is to say it in a way that has a little bit of humor in it so its not like ur correciting them but sorta showing them the way.


i was reading some stories about the prophets :saws2: wives and ladies in that time and they had wonderful manners and wonderful characteristics


does any one know any websites or books or anything that goes in to the topic?? thanx


:wasalam:

[Muslimah]

Bismillah


As salam alykom aldhaahri dear welcome back


Listen Insh a Allah i will look for something along with the other brothers and sisters. But let me suggest this for now, how about if u invite those friends of yours to the board here. Insh aAllah they can start reading, interacting, receiving and giving input. Also they might stumble into topics that are relevant to what u r talking about. insh aAllah by this you would be helping them and gaining the reward u r seeking. How about this suggestion?

[Musleemah]

:assalam: thank u for answering back that does make sense


well i have sisters and they are always talking about guys from school like guy teachers or boys that go to the school sometimes they would just say stuff like hes so cute or sometimes they would be making fun of them ( not about there apperance but about things that they did ) im not sure if its haram and everytime i tell them to change the subject they would say well its not haram to talk about it.


how do u "ansah" someone without being rude im 14 and i have to older sisters one is 18 and the other is 16 its hard to make them change there mind and sometimes i find myself more strict about prayers then my parents

Sister, in these situations, it is best to try to strengthen ur iman and theirs first, especially when u tried with them the first time and it didn't work.


When u and ur sisters learn ur deen and become stronger in iman, you will find urselves keeping away from these things, and not doing it.


So the key is for you to be better than them and be a good example to them, and try to encourage them to do good deeds and to pray on time, also if there are Halaqas in ur masjid, encourage them to go.


Buy some Islamic booklets that talk about prayer and important acts of worship in Islam and things that make them closer to Allah, also good Islamic tapes.


Also, if after advising them they dont' listen to you, you should leave the room, and not sit and listen to unpermissable talk.


As for the issue of love and liking a person, it is not haram to like someone of the opposite sex, but one should keep it to himself and it is not permissable for one to look at them, one should be lowering their gaze.


Looking at them can add fuel to the fire, and it might lead to something more serious than just liking the person.


And you should keep away from them,


If one feels love towards a Muslim from the opposite gender, and he/she is a good Muslim, then one should ask Allah to make him/her his/her future husband/wife if he/she is best for him/her.


But just liking a person whom you can't get married to, causes more harm than good, and you should ask Allah to help you not get attracted to that person, and you should keep away from places he is in.