Dowry in islam

[NaSra]

Well lemme give u all a lil story of what eventually helped me make the decision to take the leap and ask Khadeeja


I come from the typical western culture that says 25 is the ideal age to get married. I always wanted to marry young, but I had this idea in mind that I should be at least able to survive in order to have a wife. This meant having my own home, a car and all that. So I just never decided to take the leap.


One day (before I bought my car) I took a ride with this guy, a young muslim guy who I had just met from the masjid. While going in his car, we started to talk of the issue of marriage.


This guy started to tell me about his experience with marriage. He told me of how much he loved this muslimah and how much he didnt want to sin. He saved himself all his life and didnt want to fall into sin.


He went on to tell me about his relationship with his wife (of course not thie intimate details). He agreed that marriage has it's downsides, but said that most of the downsides that he's experienced were small nonsensical things that often turned out big. But in the final analysis, he said that the amazing feeling that comes from being unconditionally loved, knowing that you have someone there at home waiting for you, someone who's heart will be at ease when she sees you home safe at the end of theday, this feeling made it all worth while.


He agreed that as long as you trust in Allah, marrying young will be ok. No need for worries about poverty.


Furthermore, in my opinion, if two people get married in spite of hardship, and they work through that hardship together and move on in life together, their relationship will be far greater due to this struggle. As opposed to bringing a spouse into a luxurious home and as soon as hard times hit you he/she cant take it and leaves.


Anyways, after speaking to this guy, I went on and asked for Khadeeja's hand in marriage.


My encounter with this guy was so profound. I mean, the things that he said and the way that he said it really had a huge impact on me. I was like WOOOOWW amazing.


But it showed me two things


- the importance of marriage


- Sometimes, it's the little things that we do that makes an impact on people, if we give sincere advice on something that we are passionate about. Something that's serious to us, we can change lives. It follows therefore, that if we are passionate about islam in our own heart, we can have the opportunity to make a change in someone's life, and this my dear brothers and sisters, is better than the world and everything it contains.


Anyways. that was all a little off topic but i just wanted to share my view on marrying young.


wa salaam all


naseeha.


btw: Khadeeja and I are still stuck about the dowry thing :)

Asalamalaikum Naseeha


MashaAllah Brother, Jezekelah khayr for sharing that with us. Getting married young rocks :D ( the only little annoying part is having all ur family calling u ever week(asking u if your pregnant yet) :rolleyes: the male and female they all wanna know. :D


May Allah reward that brother who has effected u in such a amazing way. InshaAllah one day you'll guide a brother like that and inspire him.


I always encourage my younger siblings in my family to get married. even the 14 year old one.


I think alot of older people underestimate the great things that young people are capable of doing. :thumb:

[Kal]

Asalamalaikum Naseeha


MashaAllah Brother, Jezekelah khayr for sharing that with us. Getting married young rocks :D ( the only little annoying part is having all ur family calling u ever week(asking u if your pregnant yet) :rolleyes: the male and female they all wanna know. :D


May Allah reward that brother who has effected u in such a amazing way. InshaAllah one day you'll guide a brother like that and inspire him.


I always encourage my younger siblings in my family to get married. even the 14 year old one.


I think alot of older people underestimate the great things that young people are capable of doing. :thumb:

Your family do...


So, are u pregnant yet ?:D


We should rename this thread :NaSra


*NaSra has a word with Kal*


I'd like to retract my previous comment for safety reasons. Thank you

[khadeeja]

salaam,


thanks u all for your advice on this topic so far......but i still feel as if these options may not work for me.i need to narrow them out or something.....but please know that i do appreciate all your help....and Nasra thanks for your beautiful pic ....it means alot to us....(naseeha and i).


assalam wa 'alaikum,


khadeeja.

[Muslimah]

<b>BISMILLHA
</b>


AS SALAM ALYKOM ALL


I KNOW THAT MANY OF US, SPECIALLY THOSE ON THIS THREAD, ARE SO MUCH CARING FOR THIS LOVELY COUPLE. I THOUGHT TO SHARE THIS, INSH A ALLAH WEDDING IN ON 19TH.


MAY ALLAH BLESS ON THEM, TO THEM, FOR THEM AND GATHER BETWEEN THEM ON KHAIR.


MAY ALLAH GRANT THEM PIOUS OFF SPRING


MAY ALLAH MAKES THEM A COMFORT OF THE EYE FOR EACH OTHER, INSTILLS LOVE AND MERCY IN THEIR HEARTS,[

[abdulwalee]

salaam,


well thanks for your advice you guys, but i think i need more feedback.

Mahr (The Dower)


Give what is easeist to fulfill of wealth gold, diamonds, Cash. and consult with the bride and negotiate. Dont be extravagant. many sisters think that the more the dowry the higher their status nothing is furthest from the truth.


One regrettable aspect of dowry-giving in recent times is that it is becoming more and more a matter of ostentation. Nothing could be more un-Islamic in motivation than this. Even the practice of performing a marriage quietly, without any flamboyant display of wealth, but subsequently giving a lavish dowry to enable the bride to set up her home is contrary to Islamic practice. It was certainly not the 'Sunnah' of the Prophet . Fatimah was his favorite daughter, but he neither gave her a lavish dowry nor did he send things to her home after the wedding. Even when Fatimah made a request to him for something of a material nature, he only gave her the benefit of his counsel.


Islam has successfully maintained an even balance in society between men and women by giving its unequivocal endorsement to a practical division of labor, whereby women are placed in charge of the internal arrangement of the household, while men are responsible for its financing. The home is thus organized on the pattern of a microcosmic estate, with the man in a position of authority. The Qur’an is specified on this issue:


“Men are the protectors and maintainers of women because God has made some of them to excel others and because they support them from their means. All the righteous women are the truly devout ones, who guard the intimacy which God has (ordained to be) guarded.” (4: 34) May Allah grant you and hern a good union and a life upon a blessed way.