06-01-2006, 05:16 AM
Bismillah:
SOURCE: www.amrkhaled.net
Selamun’ Aleykum,
Insha’ Allah my following story may be a lesson for some Muslims especially young generation spending their times in bars , discotec etc.
I am Muslim and in all my life I haven’t lost my creed and faith to ALLAH. Sometimes I continued praying , in some periods I stoped it, only going to Friday times. But I never lost my belief.
Since 2000 I ve been living in a bad way; drinking, having liaison (zin’a), not praying etc many bad things.
Sometimes I was reading Qur’an and praying but not continuously. At the end I got an infection from one woman. After relation I felt indication ,then it finished. That night I prayed (salah) to Allah and I thanked to him and I made Touwba. But after one day other indications started . I was in panic and shock. What I could do, how I explained to my family, my friends and all others. How I look at their faces , it was big shame for me. I thought to kill myself. Then I started praying all times and reading Qur’an everyday and night and praying Allah to show me the correct way to follow after that.
I know what you may think. I critized myself in the same way. Still I am doing. I was healty and have enough time and I didn’t do anything for Allah. Now I learnt I am going to die then started praying and following Allah’s way.As you know , like Fravoun’s story (old Egypt Kings) , his Towba when he was in the middle of Red sea.
I hate myself because Allah many times warned me in different ways, I couldn’t understand may be I didn’t want to understand because such a life was sweet and I couldn’t beat my nef’s.
I couldn’t stop it and he managed me and destroyed my life in this world and in other world (ah’rat). Still disturbing me and telling hey!! you have less time, enjoy your life and don’t care anything, why you turn your face to ALLAH. Such a things.
Yes I can do. Really if we don’t do your homeworks against to ALLAH, after sometime it is becoming diffucult to do it. Because your body and mind are not used to do it.
Even under this conditions still my nef’s is pushing me to live like that. But this time it will not be succesfull insha’Allah. May be I was late but Allah gave sometime to me to do something for him. Only problem is concentration which I am loosing time to time.
After panic and shock , still sometimes I am living but I started accept it. I accepted it because it was a lesson which Allah gave to me. It was hard but I deserved it. Everything is from ALLAH but I can not reproach to ALLAH because I chose this way and I deserved it. I couldn’t think and understand the messages.
Actually I don’t know how long I will live like this. Because this will take sometime 6 months sometime 10 years sometime more. In my life I always think that if I die, at the front of ALLAH how I will account for the life which I was living. Really it was always the first thing when I was thinking about die.
We are human who doesn’t want to understand the life is very thin and in any time can break. When we get the problem then we start thinking and asking questions to ourselves about the purpose of the life. Of course not all of us. At least me.
A friend of mine mentioned about your site and programs.
I read the campaigns and really I proud of with these nice people. My campaign may be ‘get your life meaning back’. If we look at many Muslim countries young generation loosing and spending their lifes in such a places.
What we can do for this, I don’t know but we have to try. Because mostly such a places are open because some economical and governmental reasons such as tourism incomes. Actually local authorities of these countries forbidden these places for their people but I know very well nobody care. It is diffucult make the authorities close them, because many foreign peoples are living in such a places.
But we can warn people during this campaign , at least we can drop one question mark in their brain. They have to know they are Muslim and they have to proud of this and they should follow Allah’s way otherwise they will loose meaning of the life.
As a result how we can make such a campaign start or can we do this or should we follow in some other way, I need advise. This is first thing and important for me.
Secondly I need advise for my personal situation. Sometime it is becoming diffucult to stand and thinking to kill myself. Because I can not make my family and mother and other friends to suffer my future which will be full with sickness. And also I can not stand them to deal with the problems which will be put front of them by other people living in the same society.
ALLAH save and help all Muslims.
your brother
A.T
<b>The Answer: الاجابة </b>
In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful. All praise and thanks are due to Allah and peace and blessings be upon his messenger.
Dear brother in islam,
I received your e-mail and Gazakom Allah Khayran for your precious trust.I endore Almighty Allah to enable me be of real help to you.
Dear brother,
Inspite of the deep grief I felt while reading your e-mail ,I still had an overwhelming sense of optimism.
Unlike what you might expect there were a lot of positive and promising items in your e-mail .
On top of these things is that you have never lost "creed and faith" ( these are your own words)in Almighty Allah even in the worst times when you were too weak to defeat your own "nef's" . One should never underestimate the blessing of IMAN even if he loses the will and strength to keep on the right track. So there is no point comparing yourself with Fer3oun, who refused all together to believe in Allah inspite of all the signs and mircales that God had sent him.He even wanted his people to worship him instead of Almighty Allah.
Second,the on and off return to Almighty Allah in the form of intermittant praying or reading Quran means that you never lost the desire deep inside to please Almighty Allah and gain the serenity of being of His party.
I agree with you that you should have responded to whatever signs or indications God may have sent you much earlier and not waited until such a grave sign might have happened. But let's look at the bright side of the issue. You could have passed away in a car accident while you were drunk or while you were committing adultry( zenna).Imagine facing Almighty Allah on such terms.Still Allah granted you a very precious chance of finding your real self again, making new choices and "getting the real meaning of your life back" ( again these are your own words).
Repenting to Almighty Allah is like being born again.To repent truely means to regret whatever you have done,stop doing it and take a firm decision never to go back again. I believe you have went through all these feelings and decisions.So cheer up , dear brother in islam, and be sure that whoever repents truely to Almighty Allah ,HE will convert all his wrong deeds(saeyat) into good deeds (hasanat).Our beloved prophet's (pbuh) compagnion "Omar ibn el Khattab" used to keep mentioning that he committed a great deal of bad things in Jahelia being sure that all this bad stuff is being converted to good deeds. So ,dear brother , make the utmost use of the time -whether long or short- that Almighty Allah has granted you.The rest of your life and your (a5era) isn't destroyed yet ,so NEVER give Iblees the opportunity to do this by having those wrongful thoughts of killing yourself.
Almighty Allah will help and support you and HE is capable of keeping any disgrace from your family insha'a Allah.Imagine the sadness and grief they will suffer if you committ this horrible deed.Have faith and hope ,dear brother.
One more issue was mostly highlighted in your e-mail that I found extremely positive, namely your sincere concern-inspite of your serious problem- to be of benefit to others and to pass to them your experience with all its meanings.This attitude reflects a soul that genuinely cares for others. This is something that Almighty Allah loves in his worshippers.
Dear brother,
I would be delighted if you keep in touch with me .I would appreciate if you send me your phone number in your coming e-mail ,so that I can get in personal touch with you.
I pray Almighty Allah to grant you the wisdom to do the right choices,the will to carry them out and the insight to see the mercy in your situation. May Almighty Allah postpone the onset of your illness as much as possible and grant you the courage and patience to overcome it.
Waiting to hear from you again .May Almighty Allah bless us all.
Your brother
Amr Khaled
