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this is important n very urgent plz help plz plz plz plz plz - sonia - 03-31-2003
asalam 3alykoum wara7mat alah wabarakato
dear brthers and sister: my friend have got a very big problem which has been thinking about for a week,she is about to take her scaff off because she is saying that she doesn't like n she is not wearing it for alah(S.W.T)but she is wearing it because ppl have been tellig her all diffrent stuff abt the day of judgment and how she will be panished if she doesn't put it on n theother reason is cuz all her friends have it on .
now she took it off when she goes outside but not 2 skwl cuz she doesn't wanna ppl 2 think that she is just playin games wiv it n specialy the stuff they wil think <wut kind of respect to religion they have got so she is wearing it to skwl but not outside> oh n i 4got to tell u the other thing is da even if she wears it to skwl but she wears like tops not down 2 her knees but her bum shows so plz tell me wut shoul i tell her or advice her to do. and specialy help me to convince her cuz everything i tell her she finds an other answer e.g she says u all the girls who wears hejab are arabic n thier parrents and all thier familly are like this and they have to do it so there is no problem and everything is organized for them like who they are gonna marry or even the british passport but her she is saying that all her family n friends n neighbours in her country no one at all wears it,actually they wear small tops n clothes worse than in uk .she said if she doesn't find a job to support her self n study ,then she is will be in troubles cuz all her brothers n sisters will leave her n no one will care abt her specialy if her parents dies before her so plz plz plz help me to convince her to do the right thing .
thnx and alah ya7fathkoum wa youdgazekoum khyran
this is important n very urgent plz help plz plz plz plz plz - Purgetory - 03-31-2003
Quote:but she is wearing it because ppl have been tellig her all diffrent stuff abt the day of judgment and how she will be panished if she doesn't put it on n theother reason is cuz all her friends have it on.[/quote:d6929117e5]well i believe that this is enough reason for you to put it on isnt it? if she knows that she will be punished in the day of judgment then thats quite enough to convince her to wear the hijab. ask her how much fun and benefit she will gain without hijab? let us say she will be able to get a job, passport, pass exams and live to be a hundred and never get ill ever. is that what she wants? would she trade eternal happiness in heaven with temporary earthly happiness.</div></blockquote>
leaving the hijab is one thing, but leaving it while beliveing that its the right thing to do is a completely different matter.
<blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="123" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div>she says u all the girls who wears hejab are arabic n thier parrents and all thier familly are like this and they have to do it so there is no problem and everything is organized for them like who they are gonna marry or even the british passport but her she is saying that all her family n friends n neighbours in her country no one at all wears it,actually they wear small tops n clothes worse than in uk .[/quote:d6929117e5]well that has an obvious answer sister sonia, two words, NOT TRUE. the laws of islam went down on all muslims no matter what nation the muslim is from. just because she isnt an arab doesnt mean she could remove the hijab and definitly she has no excuse to remove the hijab because everyone around her does. you might have heard this from your school teacher or your parent "if the guy you look up to jumped off a cliff, will you follow him?" heck if the whole world ran naked in the streets and she knows that its wrong, there aint no excuse for her to do it.
<blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="123" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div>she said if she doesn't find a job to support her self n study ,then she is will be in troubles cuz all her brothers n sisters will leave her n no one will care abt her specialy if her parents dies before her so plz plz plz help me to convince her to do the right thing .[/quote:d6929117e5]does she believe in God? would she put her trust on her brothers and sisters instead of God? have faith in your God and ask him for help before you do with the mortals however close or powerful they are. no one can help you more than God.
i hope i helped.
a little advice, try using normal english it is kind of hard to read your slang. :wink:
</div></blockquote>
this is important n very urgent plz help plz plz plz plz plz - Ali - 04-03-2003
Assalaamoalaikum
Try to explain her the importance of hijaab, and the fundamentals of Islam. Does she pray 5 times a day? It's more important for her to pray 5 times a day as it would make her imaan strong.
And I would say too that I fail to understand some of the slang words you use. It's because I am not orignally from the US, and Its hard for me to moderate some posts, as I don't know the meaning of some words. :oops:
-- Ali
this is important n very urgent plz help plz plz plz plz plz - fade - 04-04-2003
Aslamu aliakum
you friend is going through a difficult time she may not realize how important hijab is right now but at least she knows that its part of the religion don't perssure her just keep on encouraging her to wear the hijab tell her to take things slowly it's not the end of the world.
your sister in islam who had the same problem
one more thing give her space
this is important n very urgent plz help plz plz plz plz plz - wel_mel - 04-04-2003
Assalamo alikom.
pls sister show her this
[b:94cbc6eabd].7 Conditions For a Woman's Dress[/b:94cbc6eabd]
A Hijab is a word that indicated the following conditions :[/color:94cbc6eabd]
1. Clothing must cover the entire body, only the hands and face may remain visible (According to some Fiqh Schools) .
2. The material must not be so thin that one can see through it.
3. The clothing must hang loose so that the shape / form of the body is not apparent.
4. The female clothing must not resemble the man's clothing.
5. The design of the clothing must not resemble the clothing of the non believing women.
6. The design must not consist of bold designs which attract attention.
7. Clothing should not be worn for the sole purpose of gaining reputation or increasing one's status in society.
The reason for this strictness is so that the woman is protected from the lustful gaze of men. She should not attract attention to herself in any way. It is permissible for a man to catch the eye of a woman , however it is haram (unlawful) for a man to look twice as this encourages lustful thoughts.
Islam protects the woman, it is for this reason that Allah gave these laws. In today's society womankind is being exploited, female sexuality is being openly used in advertising, mainly to attract the desires of men and therefore sell the product. Is the woman really free in today's society ? The answer is obviously no, the constant bombardment by the media as to how the ideal woman should look and dress testifies to this.
Islam liberated woman over 1400 years ago. Is it better to dress according to man or God ?
Allah has stated in the Quran that women must guard their modesty.
" Say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty ; that they should not display their beauty and ornaments except what must ordinarily appear thereof. " [Quran : 24.31]
" Say to the believing man that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty ; that will make for greater purity for them, and God is well aquatinted with all they do. " [Quran : 24.30]
" And O ye believers turn ye all together toward God, so that ye may attain bliss. " [Quran : 24.31]
Hope this can help Inshaa allah
salam
wel_mel[b:94cbc6eabd][/b:94cbc6eabd]
this is important n very urgent plz help plz plz plz plz plz - Muslimah - 04-05-2003
i hope i helped.
a little advice, try using normal english it is kind of hard to read your slang. :wink:
As Salam Alykom
I fully agree with you brother on this point
But also Mash a Allah for a very sound advice. May Allah accept and keep us fixed
this is important n very urgent plz help plz plz plz plz plz - sonia - 05-20-2003
sorry for the slang language :oops: ,i 'll try not to use it in the future
as for her problem, when i said she wears the scaf ,i mean she doesn't cover all her body like, you know, she only covers her hair that's all
and she thinks she is not ready to do it now but she will make some efforts when she is much more older
![[Image: sad.gif]](http://www.islamsms.com/upload/html/emoticons/sad.gif)
, she said she will try to do the basic things like learn more about the religion, learn the quran , read it, and pray five time a day on time then she will put the scaf on thnx for your help jazakoum alah khayran
![[Image: biggrin.gif]](http://www.islamsms.com/upload/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif)
wasalam alykoum warahmat alah wabarakato
this is important n very urgent plz help plz plz plz plz plz - Ali - 05-20-2003
A very good article about hijaab.
[b:3e25e595b9]When I Covered My Head, I Opened My Mind[/b:3e25e595b9]
By Sharrifa Carlo
As a non-Muslim living in Western society, the idea of modesty was not exactly foremost in my mind. Like all other women of my generation and mind-set, I thought such ideas were antiquated and excessive. I felt pity for the poor Muslim woman who had to "wear all that junk," or "walk around in bed - sheets" as I used to call it
I was a modern woman, educated and liberated. Little did I know the awful truth. I was more oppressed than any Muslim woman in the most culturally oppressive village in the Muslim world. I was oppressed not by an inability to choose my clothing or to choose my life-style, I was oppressed by an inability to see my society for what it really was. I was oppressed by the idea that a woman's beauty was public, and that lustful admiration was equal to respect.
It was when Allah guided me to Islam, and I put on the hijab, that I was finally able to step out of the society in which I lived and see it for what it really is. I could see how the highest paid women were those who exposed themselves to public display, like actresses, models and even strip-tease dancers. I was able to see that the relationship between men and women was unfairly stacked in the man's direction. I knew I used o dress to attract men. I tried to fool myself by saying I did it to please myself, but the painful reality was that what pleased me was when I was admired by a man I considered attractive.
I now know that there is no way for a person to know that he is dirty if he has never been clean. Similarly, I was not able to see that I was oppressed until I stepped out of the darkness of this oppressive society into the light of Islam. With that light shined on the truth, I was finally able to see the shadows that had been so obscured by my Western philosophies. It is not oppression to protect yourself and society; it is oppression to voluntarily throw yourself into the quagmire while denying it is dirty.
I am grateful to Allah that He allowed me to recognize that when I covered my head, I was taking away from people any means for judging me other than my mind, my soul and my heart. When I covered my head, I took away the incentive for exploitation based on beauty. When I covered my head, I made people respect me because they saw that I respected myself, and when I covered my head, I finally opened my mind to the truth.
Teach, Don't Preach
One of the factors which attracted me to this great deen of ours was the fact that so much of it can be understood based on logic and reason. that is why I feel that many Muslims parents do themselves a great disservice by not explaining more to their children. The old, "Because I say so...", or because you are an Arab, Pakistani, Somali, (fill in your cultural preference)..." never has worked and never will work. Human beings have a natural desire to understand what they do and why they do it, that is why Islam is such a great religion, because it satisfies all of our basic intellectual and emotional needs; it does this simply because it is the truth, and the truth is always easy to understand and defend.
When we teach our children, we should use the same sound reasoning and logic that we use to convince ourselves that a particular deed is beneficial. Thus, as we accept it, so, inshallah, will they because it will be understandable. Of course we preface every instruction with the understanding that we do what we do to please Allah and Allah only, even if we can not understand it, but alhamdulillah we have a means to understand the majority of what we do and avoid as Muslims.
For instance, we know that we don't eat pork because Allah commands us in the Glorious Quraan to avoid it. Then, we know that our beloved Prophet (Sal Allahu alayhi wa salam) commanded us to avoid it. We need to tell this to our kids, and as they grow and increase in their understanding we need to show it to them. This teaches them some important lessons. It shows them Allah's commands; it shows them the importance of the Prophet's (Sal Allahu alayhi wa salam) commands, and it shows them the basics of researching into the deen. Then, once we set this as our base, we need to explain to them the wisdom of this command. Talk about the diseases associated with eating pork. Discuss the unsanitary living/eating habits of this animal. Essentially, teach them those things which help you to avoid this sin. Teach them to use their faith and their mind in unison as tools towards achieving the ultimate goal of reaching Jannah.
When I Covered My Head, I Opened My Mind
By Sharrifa Carlo
As a non-Muslim living in Western society, the idea of modesty was not exactly foremost in my mind. Like all other women of my generation and mind-set, I thought such ideas were antiquated and excessive. I felt pity for the poor Muslim woman who had to "wear all that junk," or "walk around in bed - sheets" as I used to call it
I was a modern woman, educated and liberated. Little did I know the awful truth. I was more oppressed than any Muslim woman in the most culturally oppressive village in the Muslim world. I was oppressed not by an inability to choose my clothing or to choose my life-style, I was oppressed by an inability to see my society for what it really was. I was oppressed by the idea that a woman's beauty was public, and that lustful admiration was equal to respect.
It was when Allah guided me to Islam, and I put on the hijab, that I was finally able to step out of the society in which I lived and see it for what it really is. I could see how the highest paid women were those who exposed themselves to public display, like actresses, models and even strip-tease dancers. I was able to see that the relationship between men and women was unfairly stacked in the man's direction. I knew I used o dress to attract men. I tried to fool myself by saying I did it to please myself, but the painful reality was that what pleased me was when I was admired by a man I considered attractive.
I now know that there is no way for a person to know that he is dirty if he has never been clean. Similarly, I was not able to see that I was oppressed until I stepped out of the darkness of this oppressive society into the light of Islam. With that light shined on the truth, I was finally able to see the shadows that had been so obscured by my Western philosophies. It is not oppression to protect yourself and society; it is oppression to voluntarily throw yourself into the quagmire while denying it is dirty.
I am grateful to Allah that He allowed me to recognize that when I covered my head, I was taking away from people any means for judging me other than my mind, my soul and my heart. When I covered my head, I took away the incentive for exploitation based on beauty. When I covered my head, I made people respect me because they saw that I respected myself, and when I covered my head, I finally opened my mind to the truth.
Teach, Don't Preach
One of the factors which attracted me to this great deen of ours was the fact that so much of it can be understood based on logic and reason. that is why I feel that many Muslims parents do themselves a great disservice by not explaining more to their children. The old, "Because I say so...", or because you are an Arab, Pakistani, Somali, (fill in your cultural preference)..." never has worked and never will work. Human beings have a natural desire to understand what they do and why they do it, that is why Islam is such a great religion, because it satisfies all of our basic intellectual and emotional needs; it does this simply because it is the truth, and the truth is always easy to understand and defend.
When we teach our children, we should use the same sound reasoning and logic that we use to convince ourselves that a particular deed is beneficial. Thus, as we accept it, so, inshallah, will they because it will be understandable. Of course we preface every instruction with the understanding that we do what we do to please Allah and Allah only, even if we can not understand it, but alhamdulillah we have a means to understand the majority of what we do and avoid as Muslims.
For instance, we know that we don't eat pork because Allah commands us in the Glorious Quraan to avoid it. Then, we know that our beloved Prophet (Sal Allahu alayhi wa salam) commanded us to avoid it. We need to tell this to our kids, and as they grow and increase in their understanding we need to show it to them. This teaches them some important lessons. It shows them Allah's commands; it shows them the importance of the Prophet's (Sal Allahu alayhi wa salam) commands, and it shows them the basics of researching into the deen. Then, once we set this as our base, we need to explain to them the wisdom of this command. Talk about the diseases associated with eating pork. Discuss the unsanitary living/eating habits of this animal. Essentially, teach them those things which help you to avoid this sin. Teach them to use their faith and their mind in unison as tools towards achieving the ultimate goal of reaching Jannah.
When I Covered My Head, I Opened My Mind
By Sharrifa Carlo
As a non-Muslim living in Western society, the idea of modesty was not exactly foremost in my mind. Like all other women of my generation and mind-set, I thought such ideas were antiquated and excessive. I felt pity for the poor Muslim woman who had to "wear all that junk," or "walk around in bed - sheets" as I used to call it
I was a modern woman, educated and liberated. Little did I know the awful truth. I was more oppressed than any Muslim woman in the most culturally oppressive village in the Muslim world. I was oppressed not by an inability to choose my clothing or to choose my life-style, I was oppressed by an inability to see my society for what it really was. I was oppressed by the idea that a woman's beauty was public, and that lustful admiration was equal to respect.
It was when Allah guided me to Islam, and I put on the hijab, that I was finally able to step out of the society in which I lived and see it for what it really is. I could see how the highest paid women were those who exposed themselves to public display, like actresses, models and even strip-tease dancers. I was able to see that the relationship between men and women was unfairly stacked in the man's direction. I knew I used o dress to attract men. I tried to fool myself by saying I did it to please myself, but the painful reality was that what pleased me was when I was admired by a man I considered attractive.
I now know that there is no way for a person to know that he is dirty if he has never been clean. Similarly, I was not able to see that I was oppressed until I stepped out of the darkness of this oppressive society into the light of Islam. With that light shined on the truth, I was finally able to see the shadows that had been so obscured by my Western philosophies. It is not oppression to protect yourself and society; it is oppression to voluntarily throw yourself into the quagmire while denying it is dirty.
I am grateful to Allah that He allowed me to recognize that when I covered my head, I was taking away from people any means for judging me other than my mind, my soul and my heart. When I covered my head, I took away the incentive for exploitation based on beauty. When I covered my head, I made people respect me because they saw that I respected myself, and when I covered my head, I finally opened my mind to the truth.
Teach, Don't Preach
One of the factors which attracted me to this great deen of ours was the fact that so much of it can be understood based on logic and reason. that is why I feel that many Muslims parents do themselves a great disservice by not explaining more to their children. The old, "Because I say so...", or because you are an Arab, Pakistani, Somali, (fill in your cultural preference)..." never has worked and never will work. Human beings have a natural desire to understand what they do and why they do it, that is why Islam is such a great religion, because it satisfies all of our basic intellectual and emotional needs; it does this simply because it is the truth, and the truth is always easy to understand and defend.
When we teach our children, we should use the same sound reasoning and logic that we use to convince ourselves that a particular deed is beneficial. Thus, as we accept it, so, inshallah, will they because it will be understandable. Of course we preface every instruction with the understanding that we do what we do to please Allah and Allah only, even if we can not understand it, but alhamdulillah we have a means to understand the majority of what we do and avoid as Muslims.
For instance, we know that we don't eat pork because Allah commands us in the Glorious Quraan to avoid it. Then, we know that our beloved Prophet (Sal Allahu alayhi wa salam) commanded us to avoid it. We need to tell this to our kids, and as they grow and increase in their understanding we need to show it to them. This teaches them some important lessons. It shows them Allah's commands; it shows them the importance of the Prophet's (Sal Allahu alayhi wa salam) commands, and it shows them the basics of researching into the deen. Then, once we set this as our base, we need to explain to them the wisdom of this command. Talk about the diseases associated with eating pork. Discuss the unsanitary living/eating habits of this animal. Essentially, teach them those things which help you to avoid this sin. Teach them to use their faith and their mind in unison as tools towards achieving the ultimate goal of reaching Jannah.
When I Covered My Head, I Opened My Mind
By Sharrifa Carlo
As a non-Muslim living in Western society, the idea of modesty was not exactly foremost in my mind. Like all other women of my generation and mind-set, I thought such ideas were antiquated and excessive. I felt pity for the poor Muslim woman who had to "wear all that junk," or "walk around in bed - sheets" as I used to call it
I was a modern woman, educated and liberated. Little did I know the awful truth. I was more oppressed than any Muslim woman in the most culturally oppressive village in the Muslim world. I was oppressed not by an inability to choose my clothing or to choose my life-style, I was oppressed by an inability to see my society for what it really was. I was oppressed by the idea that a woman's beauty was public, and that lustful admiration was equal to respect.
It was when Allah guided me to Islam, and I put on the hijab, that I was finally able to step out of the society in which I lived and see it for what it really is. I could see how the highest paid women were those who exposed themselves to public display, like actresses, models and even strip-tease dancers. I was able to see that the relationship between men and women was unfairly stacked in the man's direction. I knew I used o dress to attract men. I tried to fool myself by saying I did it to please myself, but the painful reality was that what pleased me was when I was admired by a man I considered attractive.
I now know that there is no way for a person to know that he is dirty if he has never been clean. Similarly, I was not able to see that I was oppressed until I stepped out of the darkness of this oppressive society into the light of Islam. With that light shined on the truth, I was finally able to see the shadows that had been so obscured by my Western philosophies. It is not oppression to protect yourself and society; it is oppression to voluntarily throw yourself into the quagmire while denying it is dirty.
I am grateful to Allah that He allowed me to recognize that when I covered my head, I was taking away from people any means for judging me other than my mind, my soul and my heart. When I covered my head, I took away the incentive for exploitation based on beauty. When I covered my head, I made people respect me because they saw that I respected myself, and when I covered my head, I finally opened my mind to the truth.
Teach, Don't Preach
One of the factors which attracted me to this great deen of ours was the fact that so much of it can be understood based on logic and reason. that is why I feel that many Muslims parents do themselves a great disservice by not explaining more to their children. The old, "Because I say so...", or because you are an Arab, Pakistani, Somali, (fill in your cultural preference)..." never has worked and never will work. Human beings have a natural desire to understand what they do and why they do it, that is why Islam is such a great religion, because it satisfies all of our basic intellectual and emotional needs; it does this simply because it is the truth, and the truth is always easy to understand and defend.
When we teach our children, we should use the same sound reasoning and logic that we use to convince ourselves that a particular deed is beneficial. Thus, as we accept it, so, inshallah, will they because it will be understandable. Of course we preface every instruction with the understanding that we do what we do to please Allah and Allah only, even if we can not understand it, but alhamdulillah we have a means to understand the majority of what we do and avoid as Muslims.
For instance, we know that we don't eat pork because Allah commands us in the Glorious Quraan to avoid it. Then, we know that our beloved Prophet (Sal Allahu alayhi wa salam) commanded us to avoid it. We need to tell this to our kids, and as they grow and increase in their understanding we need to show it to them. This teaches them some important lessons. It shows them Allah's commands; it shows them the importance of the Prophet's (Sal Allahu alayhi wa salam) commands, and it shows them the basics of researching into the deen. Then, once we set this as our base, we need to explain to them the wisdom of this command. Talk about the diseases associated with eating pork. Discuss the unsanitary living/eating habits of this animal. Essentially, teach them those things which help you to avoid this sin. Teach them to use their faith and their mind in unison as tools towards achieving the ultimate goal of reaching Jannah.
http://www.islamzine.com/carlo/hijabc.html
-- Ali
this is important n very urgent plz help plz plz plz plz plz - Ali - 05-22-2003
Quote:she said she will try to do the basic things like learn more about the religion, learn the quran , read it, and pray five time a day on time then she will put the scaf on [/quote:83412b3ba8]Well that's a good way to start. And then you can help her understand Islam too.
-- Ali
this is important n very urgent plz help plz plz plz plz plz - albani - 06-28-2003
Quote:sorry for the slang language :oops: ,i 'll try not to use it in the futureas for her problem, when i said she wears the scaf ,i mean she doesn't cover all her body like, you know, she only covers her hair that's all
and she thinks she is not ready to do it now but she will make some efforts when she is much more older
thnx for your help jazakoum alah khayran
wasalam alykoum warahmat alah wabarakato[/quote:4175ad813a]
Asalamu Alaikum,
sister,
first to say what she saidd is not correct when she grows older?
has she been promised that she will get older? (ask her)
secondly
give her few books to read i.e the Muslim Belief by Uthaimin,
kitab tawaheed and tapes also a must read is The three Princeples explaination by shaik Uthaimin, tell her that becouse your or the rest of family friends so on dont put hijab now thast not an excuse becouse you want be asked in day of judgment for other peoples dids but yours to start with prayer and so forth, and tell her that is not matter of doing becouse others do but becouse you understand and you want to do it so If you really Believe In Allah and in HIS messenger then Allah has ordered the Prophet (s.a.w) to order the Beliving Women to be covered as the sharia has lesgislated, as the points above.
inshallah Allah guide her, and keeps us in the right path until our time comes.
i would suggest to go to this forum www.gawaher.com download the following books
http://gawaher.com/i2/index.php?act=SF&f=61&
The Authentic Creed
The Muslim's Belief
--------
http://gawaher.com/i2/index.php?act=SF&f=62&
Women in the Shade of Islam
Rights and Duties of Women in Islam
The Ideal Muslimah The True Islamic Personality.
I Appeal To Your Sense Of Shame
The Signs Before the Day of Judgement
Inshallah this will help
Asalamu Alaikum