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Treatment of jealousy - Muslimah - 06-07-2003
Allah! In the name of most Affectionate the Merciful
For above objective these measures should be necessarily taken.
Honesty and frequently pray for forgiveness of Allah.
Keep recalling the disastrous consequences of jealousy so that the real fear of Allah’s unhappiness, ruin of faith (Eeman), good deeds and fear of punishment of hell is arouse in the heart. Unless this happens it would be difficult to avoid sin.
When a person believes that he is near to death, naturally he turn indifferent to the worldly things and he is more concerned of after death (Akhrat). Therefore the jealous should also recall his death frequently.Imam Ahmed reports that Hazrat Abu Darda (May Allah is please with him) said:“There will be a reduction in jealousy and happiness of the person who recalls his death frequently.” (Masnad-e-Imam Ahmed)
One of the causes of jealous getting into jealousy is his feeling of self inferiority when he sees favours of Allah conferred upon other person. This feeling of self inferiority is born because the jealous noticed a person better (in favours of Allah) than him. But this would have not happened if he had acted on the following injunction of Holy Prophet Muhammad (Peace be upon him), the meaning of which is “Notice the people of lower level (status) rather than upper and you will not consider any of favours of Allah inferior or immaterial.” Therefore jealous should see those people upon whom Allah has not conferred favours and not provided them capabilities, although as a hidden purpose of Allah’s unmatched justice.
The heart of jealous is filled with hatred of the person of whom he is jealous. This hatred keeps on provoking his feeling of revenge. Therefore to eliminate jealousy, it is necessary to adopt acts which change this hatred into love. The jealous will then like the other person and will never desire his deprivation of bestowments of Allah from that other person. To achieve this these acts are useful:
i. Be first to greet and salute (Salam), shake hands and give gifts too.Hazrat Aata Khrasani (May Allah is please with him) reports that the Holy Prophet Muhammad ( Peace be upon Him) said the meaning of which is: “Shake hands with each other, this will eliminate male valence and give gifts to each others, love will flourish and animosity eliminated.” (Mishkat Al-Mashabeh)
ii. If not forbidden by Shariah (Islamic rules of religion) pray for increase and betterment in the thing which is the reason of jealousy, for example one is jealous of other due to his beauty then he should pray Allah to make him more beautiful. If jealous due to respect and fame than he should pray to Allah to give him more respect and increase in his love in the hearts of people.
iii. Preventing one from exposing the shortcomings and deficiencies of the person of whom he is jealous. If some one other is doing this than he should leave the gathering or instead defend from the side of person of whom he is jealous.
iv. If the person of whom one is jealous is sad, then he should share his grief, if he is ill than visit him and if he is happy than congratulate him and participate in his happiness.
v. If the person of whom one is jealous needs help, then should help him. If can not help himself than try to get help for him from other sources, Further he should try give as much benefits as he can to that other person.
vi. One should recognize the capabilities and qualities of the person of whom he is jealous and praise him publicly. If someone else is praising him then be happy.
Source:Raafi@yahoogroups.com