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Hitting children - EEMAN - 02-13-2004
Asalam Alaykum Wa Rahmat Allah Wa Barakatu,
My fellow sisters and brothers I was wondering if anyone new of any verses in the Quran or hadith regarding parents hitting there children. Are we, as parents allowed to hit our children and if so, where on the body, and how hard? As I heard it is hararm to strike any human being on the face.
Jazak Allah,
Just a reminder to keep our hands raised, making much dua for our innocent sisters and brothers who are suffering in our muslim lands. May Allah not let them feel any pain, May he put comfort, eeman and strength in there hearts and may they be blessed with a justly reward in the akhira AMEEN!
Hitting children - Muslimah - 02-14-2004
ameen ameen ameen
welcome to the boards sister
Mash a Allah good question
Insh aAllah will make necessary search and get back to u, I know a hadeeth but need to confirm
Hitting children - amma - 02-15-2004
I work as a teacher and in the interests of the students I hit them but I do not leave any mark on their bodies, so that they will do better in class. Does this have any effect on my fast? Is there any sin on me because of this hitting? Please note that if I do not hit them they do much worse in class.
Answer :
Praise be to Allaah.
Shaykh ‘Abd al-‘Azeez ibn Baaz (may Allaah have mercy on him) was asked:
What is the ruling on hitting female students in order to teach them and urge them to do their homework that is required of them, and to make them get used to not being negligent?
He replied:
There is nothing wrong with that. Teachers and parents all have to pay attention to the children and discipline them if they deserve to be disciplined for falling short in their duties, so that they will get used to having the proper attitude and will behave properly as they should. Hence it was proven that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Tell your children to pray when they are seven years old and smack them if they do not do it when they are ten, and separate them in their beds.” Males may be smacked and females too, if either of them reaches the age of ten and falls short with regard to prayer, and they should be disciplined until they pray regularly. The same applies to other duties such as study and household chores, etc. Those who are in charge of youngsters, male and female, should pay attention to teaching them and disciplining them, but any hitting should be light and not harmful, but it should achieve the intended purpose.
Majmoo’ Fataawa al-Shaykh ibn Baaz, 6/403
We should also point out that it is not permissible for a teacher to be harsh in hitting, or to give more than ten blows, unless the student has transgressed a law of Allaah. But with regard to his studies and making him pay attention, he should not do more than that.
It was narrated from Abu Burdah al-Ansaari that he heard the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) say: “No one should be given more than ten lashes of the whip except in the case of one of the hadd punishments prescribed by Allaah.”
Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 6456; Muslim, 3222.
According to a report narrated by al-Bukhaari (6457):
“There is no punishment greater than ten blows except in the case of one of the hadd punishments prescribed by Allaah.”
Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
The words of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), “There is no punishment greater than ten blows except in the case of one of the hadd punishments prescribed by Allaah” refer to crimes that have to do with the rights of Allaah.
If it is said: What about the ten or less blows in the light of the hadeeth mentioned above?
The answer is that if a man hits his wife, slave, child or employee in order to discipline him or her, etc., then it is not permissible for him to give more than ten blows. This is the best explanation of the hadeeth. End quote.
I’laam al-Muwaqqi’een, 2/23
Hitting is not the only way to encourage a student to study. The teacher should combine both encouragement and deterrence according to what he thinks will achieve the desired goal. He should praise a good student and encourage him by offering gifts and prizes, and giving him high grades for participation and keenness. And he should deter bad students by smacking them sometimes and by depriving them of good grades sometimes, or by rebuking them or contacting their parents or guardians, and so on.
The teacher’s aim should always be the student’s best interests, not simply to punish.
And Allaah knows best.
Hitting children - amma - 02-15-2004
Question :
Is it a sin to hit one's children by hand or stick. I only do this when I feel the child has not obeyed my instruction after several warnings. Also, is it a sin to lift a hand for one's wife. There are times when I feel that it should be done but have resisted thus far. As for the case of the children, I feel extremely guilty after the spanking given and beg The Almighty for his forgiveness if the act is wrong. Is there duaas which I may read daily for The Almighty to guide my children and bless them with good Aqaa'id?
Answer :
Praise be to Allaah.
The father’s duty is to bring his children up well and to take care of them, and hitting may be used as a means of discipline when the situation requires that. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) commanded us to smack children for not praying when they reach the age of ten, but this should be the last resort, when all others have failed, and there should be no harshness in the hitting, and we must not hit the face. The father should not hit his child at the time of extreme anger, or with a sharp instrument that may injure him, or with anything that may break bones, and he should not hit him in a place where a blow may be fatal. Brandishing the stick may be more effective than actually hitting. The point is that when disciplining his child, a father should follow the principle of using the gentlest means then the next gentlest; he should not resort to the harshest and most difficult means if he can achieve his aim with something that is easier and gentler.
With regard to hitting one’s wife, this is not the first choice of ways to discipline her. First of all one should exhort and advise her. If that does not work, then (the husband) should forsake her in bed [i.e., not have conjugal relations with her]. If that does not work, then he may hit her, but not severely, as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning);
“As to those women on whose part you see ill‑conduct, admonish them (first), (next) refuse to share their beds, (and last) beat them (lightly, if it is useful); but if they return to obedience, seek not against them means (of annoyance). Surely, Allaah is Ever Most High, Most Great” [al-Nisaa’ 4:34].
The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) has told us that the best of people are not those who beat their wives.
With regard the guidance of children, the parents must do the things that will lead to that, such as advising them, keeping them away from bad company, helping them to maintain ties with righteous friends, treating them well and continuing to pray for them to be righteous and to be guided. Among the du’aa’s for children that have been narrated are:
“Our Lord! Bestow on us from our wives and our offspring the comfort of our eyes” [al-Furqaan 25:74 – interpretation of the meaning]
and:
“and make my offspring good” [al-Ahqaaf 46:15 – interpretation of the meaning]
-- or any other good du’aa’, but along with making du’aa’ one must also use other means that will help to make them strong and steadfast in Islam. And Allaah is the guide to the Straight Path.
Islam Q&A
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com)
Hitting children - amma - 02-15-2004
salam
i hope the above to posts have given u the answer to your questions even though they have gne off the topic a bit. If u still want to knw pls let me knw inshallah i will also c wot else i can find.
Hitting children - Sara - 06-01-2004
Quote:I work as a teacher and in the interests of the students I hit them but I do not leave any mark on their bodies, so that they will do better in class. Does this have any effect on my fast? Is there any sin on me because of this hitting? Please note that if I do not hit them they do much worse in class. Answer :Hi, im trying my very best to understnd Islam im really comfused about this religion at the moment partly because i guess many people Explain ISLAM IN THeir "traditionS" and i believe because or traditions religions get scrwed up, most of my backround is in islam but for some reason, theres always somthing that i read that just bothers me so much about it , and then people tell me Islam is THE TRUE religion,
Praise be to Allaah.
Shaykh ‘Abd al-‘Azeez ibn Baaz (may Allaah have mercy on him) was asked:
What is the ruling on hitting female students in order to teach them and urge them to do their homework that is required of them, and to make them get used to not being negligent?
He replied:
There is nothing wrong with that. Teachers and parents all have to pay attention to the children and discipline them if they deserve to be disciplined for falling short in their duties, so that they will get used to having the proper attitude and will behave properly as they should. Hence it was proven that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Tell your children to pray when they are seven years old and smack them if they do not do it when they are ten, and separate them in their beds.” Males may be smacked and females too, if either of them reaches the age of ten and falls short with regard to prayer, and they should be disciplined until they pray regularly. The same applies to other duties such as study and household chores, etc. Those who are in charge of youngsters, male and female, should pay attention to teaching them and disciplining them, but any hitting should be light and not harmful, but it should achieve the intended purpose.
Majmoo’ Fataawa al-Shaykh ibn Baaz, 6/403
We should also point out that it is not permissible for a teacher to be harsh in hitting, or to give more than ten blows, unless the student has transgressed a law of Allaah. But with regard to his studies and making him pay attention, he should not do more than that.
It was narrated from Abu Burdah al-Ansaari that he heard the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) say: “No one should be given more than ten lashes of the whip except in the case of one of the hadd punishments prescribed by Allaah.”
Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 6456; Muslim, 3222.
According to a report narrated by al-Bukhaari (6457):
“There is no punishment greater than ten blows except in the case of one of the hadd punishments prescribed by Allaah.”
Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
The words of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), “There is no punishment greater than ten blows except in the case of one of the hadd punishments prescribed by Allaah” refer to crimes that have to do with the rights of Allaah.
If it is said: What about the ten or less blows in the light of the hadeeth mentioned above?
The answer is that if a man hits his wife, slave, child or employee in order to discipline him or her, etc., then it is not permissible for him to give more than ten blows. This is the best explanation of the hadeeth. End quote.
I’laam al-Muwaqqi’een, 2/23
Hitting is not the only way to encourage a student to study. The teacher should combine both encouragement and deterrence according to what he thinks will achieve the desired goal. He should praise a good student and encourage him by offering gifts and prizes, and giving him high grades for participation and keenness. And he should deter bad students by smacking them sometimes and by depriving them of good grades sometimes, or by rebuking them or contacting their parents or guardians, and so on.
The teacher’s aim should always be the student’s best interests, not simply to punish.
And Allaah knows best.
well for starters some one posted up "The answer is that if a man hits his wife, slave, child or employee in order to discipline him or her, etc., then it is not permissible for him to give more than ten blows. This is the best explanation of the hadeeth. End quote." Can you show me where the fairness is in that ? MAN IS ALLOWED TO HIS HIS wife....Then what is the value of that women. Is a women in islam allowed to slap her husband? how does some one have the right to BEAT a nother human life? I dont find that a bit fair that a male can BEATa women becasue she doen't folloew him or what not, what ever its is 10 hits or 1 my point is that its stilll hitting. yeh and "supposedly" ISLAM
is FAIR TO WOMEN IF any one can tell me howwwwww ISLAM is FAIR to women and how its is ok for a MAN to BEAT a WOMEN it will be very much appreciated.
thnX
Hitting children - NaSra - 06-02-2004
Quote:Hi, im trying my very best to understnd Islam im really comfused about this religion at the moment partly because i guess many people Explain ISLAM IN THeir \"traditionS\" and i believe because or traditions religions get scrwed up, most of my backround is in islam but for some reason, theres always somthing that i read that just bothers me so much about it , and then people tell me Islam is THE TRUE religion,well for starters some one posted up \"The answer is that if a man hits his wife, slave, child or employee in order to discipline him or her, etc., then it is not permissible for him to give more than ten blows. This is the best explanation of the hadeeth. End quote.\" Can you show me where the fairness is in that ? MAN IS ALLOWED TO HIS HIS wife....Then what is the value of that women. Is a women in islam allowed to slap her husband? how does some one have the right to BEAT a nother human life? I dont find that a bit fair that a male can BEATa women becasue she doen't folloew him or what not, what ever its is 10 hits or 1 my point is that its stilll hitting. yeh and \"supposedly\" ISLAMHello there, This what a Respected Scholar had to say about a question that relates to your questions up there. Hopefully by the time you finish reading you'll have a better understanding of this whole issue that concerns wife beating in islam. You might realize that islam does <b>NOT</b> allow the beating of a woman after all. I'm not trying to read your mind, but by the way you word your words, I get the feeling that you indeed really believe that in islam a man can <span style="font-size:9pt;line-height:100%;"><b>literally</b> </span> beat a woman. That is not true, and if you ever see that happening anywhere please keep in mind that islam does not encourage a such act at all. You can't even hit an animal in islam, let alone a human being I.e. a Woman. I know that there are some muslims who's cultures think it's ok to hit/beat/abuse a woman, but that has nothing to do with the teachings of islam. We know many christians who abuse their wives, we know many hindus who treat their women horribly, can we Criticise their religions for their actions? That would be pretty Superficial wouldn't it? Anyway I'll let you read this now. Bye
is FAIR TO WOMEN IF any one can tell me howwwwww ISLAM is FAIR to women and how its is ok for a MAN to BEAT a WOMEN it will be very much appreciated.
thnX
<b>Does Islam allow wife beating?</b>
<b><i>Respected scholars! Does Islam allow wife beating? Some husbands are violent and they say that the Qur'an allows them to beat their wives. Is there any logical explanation given regarding men being allowed to beat their wives, as stated in surat An-Nisa', verse 34? </i> </b>
The verse you mention has been greatly misconceived by many people who focus merely on its surface meaning, taking it to allow wife beating. When the setting is not taken into account, it isolates the words in a way that distorts or falsifies the original meaning. Before dealing with the issue of wife-battering in the perspective of Islam, we should keep in mind that the original Arabic wording of the Qur'an is the only authentic source of meaning. If one relies on the translation alone, one is likely to misunderstand it.
<b>Commenting on this issue, Dr. Muzammil H. Siddiqi, former President of the Islamic Society of North America, states: </b>
"According to the Qur'an the relationship between the husband and wife should be based on mutual love and kindness. Allah says: "And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): verily in that are Signs for those who reflect." (Ar-Rum: 21)
The Qur'an urges husbands to treat their wives with kindness. [in the event of a family dispute, the Qur'an exhorts the husband to treat his wife kindly and not to overlook her positive aspects]. Allah Almighty says: “Live with them on a footing of kindness and equity. If ye take a dislike to them it may be that ye dislike a thing, and Allah brings about through it a great deal of good.” (An-Nisa’: 19)
It is important that a wife recognizes the authority of her husband in the house. He is the head of the household, and she is supposed to listen to him. But the husband should also use his authority with respect and kindness towards his wife. If there arises any disagreement or dispute among them, then it should be resolved in a peaceful manner. Spouses should seek the counsel of their elders and other respectable family members and friends to batch up the rift and solve the differences.
However, in some cases a husband may use some light disciplinary action in order to correct the moral infraction of his wife, but this is only applicable in extreme cases and it should be resorted to if one is sure it would improve the situation. However, if there is a fear that it might worsen the relationship or may wreak havoc on him or the family, then he should avoid it completely.
The Qur'an is very clear on this issue. Almighty Allah says: "Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has given the one more strength than the other, and because they support them from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient and guard in the husband's absence what Allah would have them to guard. As to those women on whose part you fear disloyalty and ill-conduct, admonish them <b>(first)</b>,<b>(next),</b> refuse to share their beds, <b>(and last)</b> beat them (lightly); but if they return to obedience, seek not against them means (of annoyance); for Allah is most High and Great (above you all). If you fear a breach between them twain, appoint (two) arbiters, one from his family and the other from hers. If they wish for peace, Allah will cause their reconciliation; for Allah has full knowledge and is acquainted with all things." (An-Nisa': 34-35)
It is important to read the section fully. One should not take part of the verse and use it to justify one's own misconduct. This verse neither permits violence nor condones it. It guides us to ways to handle delicate family situation with care and wisdom. The word "beating" is used in the verse, but it does not mean "physical abuse". The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) explained it "dharban ghayra mubarrih" which means "a light tap that leaves no mark". He further said that face must be avoided. Some other scholars are of the view that it is no more than a light touch by siwak, or toothbrush.
Generally, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) used to discourage his followers from taking even this measure. He never hit any female, and he used to say that the best of men are those who do not hit their wives. In one hadith he expressed his extreme repulsion from this behavior and said, <b>"How does anyone of you beat his wife as he beats the stallion camel and then embrace (sleep with) her?” </b> (Al-Bukhari, English Translation, vol. 8, Hadith 68, pp. 42-43)
It is also important to note that even this <b>"light strike"</b> mentioned in the verse is not to be used to correct some minor problem, but it is permissible to resort to only in a situation of some serious moral misconduct when admonishing the wife fails, and avoiding from sleeping with her would not help. If this disciplinary action can correct a situation and save the marriage, then one should use it."
Dr. Jamal Badawi, professor at Saint Mary's University in Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada, and a cross-appointed faculty member in the Departments of Religious Studies and Management, adds:
If the problem relates to the wife's behavior, the husband may exhort her and appeal for reason. In most cases, this measure is likely to be sufficient. In cases where the problem persists, the husband may express his displeasure in another peaceful manner, by sleeping in a separate bed from hers. There are cases, however, in which a wife persists in bad habits and showing contempt of her husband and disregard for her marital obligations. Instead of divorce, the husband may resort to another measure that may save the marriage, at least in some cases. Such a measure is more accurately described as a gentle tap on the body, but never on the face, making it more of a symbolic measure than a punitive one.
<b>Even here, that maximum measure is limited by the following: </b>
<b>a. </b> It must be seen as a rare exception to the repeated exhortation of mutual respect, kindness and good treatment. Based on the Qur'an and Hadith, this measure may be used in the cases of lewdness on the part of the wife or extreme refraction and rejection of the husband's reasonable requests on a consistent basis (nushuz). Even then, other measures, such as exhortation, should be tried first.
<b>b. </b> As defined by Hadith, it is not permissible to strike anyone's <b>face, </b> cause any <b>bodily harm </b> or even be <b>harsh</b>. What the Hadith qualifies as "dharban ghayra mubarrih", or light striking, was interpreted by early jurists as a (symbolic) use of siwak! They further qualified permissible "striking" as that which leaves <b>no mark </b> on the body. It is interesting that this latter fourteen-centuries-old qualifier is the criterion used in contemporary American law to separate a light and harmless tap or strike from "abuse" in the legal sense. This makes it clear that even this extreme, last resort, and "lesser of the two evils" measure that may save a marriage does not meet the definitions of <b>"physical abuse," </b>"family violence or "wife battering" in the 20th century law in liberal democracies, where such extremes are so commonplace that they are seen as national concerns.
<b>c. </b>The permissibility of such symbolic expression of the seriousness of continued refraction does not imply its desirability. In several hadiths, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) discouraged this measure. Here are some of his sayings in this regard: <b><span>\"Do not beat the female servants of Allah\"; </span> </b>
<b>"Some (women) visited my family complaining about their husbands (beating them). These (husbands) are not the best of you." </b>
In another hadith the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) is reported to have said:<b> “How does anyone of you beat his wife as he beats the stallion camel and then he may embrace (sleep with) her?” </b>
<b>d. </b>True following of the Sunnah is to follow the example of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) who never resorted to that measure, regardless of the circumstances.
<b>e.</b>Islamic teachings are universal in nature. They respond to the needs and circumstances of diverse times, cultures and circumstances. Some measures may work in some cases and cultures or with certain persons but may not be effective in others. By definition, a "permissible" act is neither required, encouraged or forbidden. In fact it may be to spell out the extent of permissibility, such as in the issue at hand, rather than leaving it unrestricted or unqualified, or ignoring it all together. In the absence of strict qualifiers, persons may interpret the matter in their own way, which can lead to excesses and real abuse.
<b>f.</b> Any excess, cruelty, family violence, or abuse committed by any "Muslim" can never be traced, honestly, to any revelatory text (Qur'an or Hadith). Such excesses and violations are to be blamed on the person(s) himself, as it shows that they are paying lip service to Islamic teachings and injunctions and failing to follow the true Sunnah of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him)."
and Allah knows BeSt.
Hitting children - Dan - 06-02-2004
Bismillah
As salam alaikum
Jazaki Allah Intuition for this answer.
As mentioned in the article, permissibility does not mean that it is encouraged or allowed except in extreme cases. We are allowed to eat pork if it is the only food source and we are starving but that does not mean that we get to have bacon and porkchops all day. When it is allowed, it is only a light tap. To me, this is only used when a wife is completely out of control (borderline nuts). To the woman it should serve as an awakening by the fact that her husband who has never touched her except out of tenderness and love is so exasperated with her actions that he taps her. If you are trying to tell someone something and they continue to keep their back to you, what do you do? You tap them to get their attention. Same thing here.
I would never ever hit my wife. The idea is repulsive to me so please do not let bad examples taint the religion with their trying to justify their sin. There used to be an American saying that was used to justify beating children, "Spare the rod, spoil the child." Did that mean that all Americans believed in beating children? Allah Forgive me if I am wrong.