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What Should I Do? - Printable Version

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What Should I Do? - FilipinaMuslimah - 07-08-2004


Salam Aleykom!


Hello everyone! I am a first time user of this website and was hesitant at first to post my situation, but I believe in the kindness of strangers, so here I go!


I converted to Islam almost 2 years ago. My realtionship with my parents before I converted was very strained. I never confided in them and constantly lied to them or omitted to tell them things. Now I am married to a very loving Muslim manand am 6 months pregnant with our first child, but unfortunately the lying that I subjected my parents to, has transferred over into my marriage. I have lied to my husband a few times over the past two years that we have been married, mostly about money and finances. He discovered the truth about my lies on his own everytime, and needless to say he was and IS very hurt, betrayed and angry with me. I want to make things right between us, but I don't know how. Any comments or suggestions would be greatly appreciated. I thank everyone who took the time to read this.


Jazakallah khair



What Should I Do? - Muslimah - 07-08-2004


as salam alykom sister


welcome to the boards and sorry I just saw your post, it is too late now here in Cairo [Image: huh.gif] I will try or may be other members will attend and give there input Insh aAllah



What Should I Do? - lifutushi - 07-09-2004


Walaykummussalam..


i think honesty is the key point here... tell him the truth, and don't forget to apologize. seek Allah's help, Insha Allah.....


i'm not a married person, so i can't give many advices... sorry..


Wallhu'alam..



What Should I Do? - Muslimah - 07-11-2004


as salam alykom sister


well lying is not acceptable among married couple or other wise except in three cases, to reconcile between people, a husband telling his wife how much she is pretty and he loves her, or in war.


So what u need to do sister, is seek Allah's help to stop lying, just as the brother said, pray 2 raka`a for tawba (repentance), then sit and have an honest and open talk with your husband, tell him u have a problem and u need his help to stop it, ask him to make dua for u to stop lying. he will feel involved with u in a different way Insh a Allah


and may Allah allow u to correct the whole situation



What Should I Do? - radiyah - 07-11-2004



Welcome to the boards sister FilipinaMuslimah, [Image: smile.gif] u r most welcome. As my sister and brother told u, start a new life by being honest with your husband, and prove to him that you are honest so that u will gain his trust. And first of all seek the aid of Allah to forgive u and guide u to the right way.


wasalam 'alaykom wa rahmat Allah



What Should I Do? - Qutuz - 07-13-2004


i believe the direct methods work better....try this


1 ) i'm sorry


2 ) never gonna lie again, but help me with it please


3 ) always think of you and him as one person....that will help alot.....you won't lie to yourself then [Image: smile.gif]



What Should I Do? - Muslimah - 07-13-2004


as salam alykom


u dont mind me popping in again


Mash aAllah I will just build up on item 3 in brother Qutuz reply


remember sister that Allah described the relation between husband and wife in Quran as u r garment to them and they are garment to u. A garment that covers up, that brings warmth, protects against eyes of strangers and provides modesty.


Why would u want to hide from your garment who is supposed to protect u, why would u want to hide something from someone when Allah Knows about it, what is the point, nothing is worth sister that Allah looks at u once when u r lying. Dont u think so? Nothing is important that we care for humans more than Allah, just keep this in mind. Put Allah as number 1. U will Insh a Allah easily stop this problem


And soon Insh aAllah we will hear good newsssssss [Image: biggrin.gif]



What Should I Do? - NaSra - 07-18-2004


Quote: lying is not acceptable among married couple or other wise except in three cases, to reconcile between people, a husband telling his wife how much she is pretty and he loves her, or in war.

[Image: ohmy.gif] Why lie at all, when you can be honest?


Filipina Asalamalaykum sister.


Please don't ever lie again. You owe this to yourself and the person you love. Lying destroys trust<b>and where there is no trust there is no love Sister</b>
.


May Allah make your home, a home filled with honesty,contentment, peace & happiness ameen [Image: biggrin.gif]



What Should I Do? - Muslimah - 07-19-2004


as salam alykom Intuition


I didnt invent this myself it is a hadeeth sister.



What Should I Do? - NaSra - 07-21-2004


Walaykuma salam


I didn't think you invented it Muslimah, i'm sorry if I gave you that impression it was not my intention. I was just asking thats all.