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Divorce In Islam - Fatima84 - 12-10-2006
<b>Islamic Laws Regarding Divorce</b>
Islam allows divorce if circumstances warrant or necessitate it. Islam has permitted divorce reluctantly, neither liking nor recommending it. The Prophet of Islam has said:
"Among lawful things, divorce is most disliked by Allah" (narrated in the book of tradition of Abu Daud).
Islam has not made it necessary that the grounds of divorce should be publicized. It, however; does not mean that Islam views divorce lightly. In fact, publicity of grounds may not be of any positive consequence. The grounds may not be pronounced but genuine. On the other hand, the grounds may be stated and may in reality be false. Islam does not also want washing dirty linen of private affairs in public or in the court except in exceptional circumstances. It is for this reason that court comes in as a last resort in the Islamic scheme of separation of husband and wife.
The Quran states as regards grounds of divorce in very general terms:
"And if you fear that the two (i.e husband and wife) may not be able to keep the limits ordered by Allah, there is no blame on either of them if she redeems herself (from the marriage tie) "
(2 : 229).
The general ground of divorce in the Quran, therefore, is hopeless failure of one or both parties to discharge their marital duties and to consort with each other in kindness, peace and compassion.
The jurists have developed some indices which may be accepted as grounds of divorce in case the divorce matter goes to the court. Long absence of husband without any information, long imprisonment, refusal to provide for wife, impotence etc. are some of the grounds on which wife can ask for divorce. Either party may take steps to divorce in case of chronicle disease, insanity, deceptive misrepresentation during marriage contract, desertion etc.
A Muslim male is allowed three chances, that is to say, three pronouncements or acts of divorce on three different occasions provided that each divorce is pronounced during the time when the wife is in the period of purity (that is not in her menstrual time). A husband may divorce his wife once and let the Iddat (the period of waiting after divorce) pass. During the waiting period the two have the option of being reconciled. If however the waiting period passes without reconciliation, they stand fully divorced.
If after the first divorce the husband is reconciled with his wife but the hostility and conflict begins all over again, he may divorce her a second time in the same manner as stated above. In this case also he can return to her during the Iddat (or waiting period). If however, after second reconciliation, he divorces the wife the third time, he can not take back the wife during the Iddat. She is totally prohibited for him. The lady, thereafter can marry any person she likes according to her choice. (Ref: The Lawful and the prohibited in Islam by Dr. Yusuf Al Qaradawi).
The wife can divorce her husband if this condition is stipulated in the marriage contract. This kind of divorce is called ‘Delegated Divorce’ (Talaq Taffiz). Marriage can also be dissolved through mutual consent. This is called Khula in the technical language of Islamic law. Marriage can also be dissolved by judicial process through the court on complaint of the wife on the grounds explained before.
One of the consequences of the divorce is the commencement of waiting period for the wife. This usually lasts three months. If there is a pregnancy, it lasts as long as pregnancy lasts. The waiting period is basically a term of probation during which reconciliation can be attempted. It is also required to establish whether the wife has conceived. It also allows time for planning the future.
Maintenance of wife during the waiting period is on husband. The wife can not be expelled from her place of residence and he can not in any way harass her. These will constitute moral as well as criminal offence.
In case of divorce, the young children remain in the custody of their divorced mother. However, the father has to provide the cost of maintenance of young children though they remain under the custody of mother. (Ref : The Family Structure in Islam by Dr. Hammudah Abdul Ati).
Islamic law of divorce is based on practical considerations. The process of separation is basically a matter of husband and wife. However; when conflict arises, attempts should be made for reconciliation. It has not made judicial process obligatory in divorce for reasons explained earlier. The intervention of court has nowhere reduced the number of divorce. Judicial process in Islam is the last resort in so far as divorce is concerned.
Islamic law on divorce if followed in true spirit will enhance the dignity of man and woman, reduce conflict and ensure justice.
i hope this will help you
Divorce In Islam - Faith Hope Charity - 12-14-2006
Peace Fatima,
Thanks for the information :)
Truthfully, I'm more confused now than ever before.
If Islam doesn't perceive marriage to be a permanent covenant (I'm not fond of the word contract), then why doesn't Islam allow defacto relationships (with all the privileges)?
What's so special about marriage if it's not a life long commitment between a man & a woman who eventually form one heart & soul?
I'm aware of polygamy in Islam.
I guess I'm just clueless of the whole concept of marriage in Islam :conf06: What does marriage mean to Muslims? How would you define it?
Thanks pal :thumb:
God bless.
Faith Hope Charity ... Openness Acceptance Equality
Divorce In Islam - wel_mel_2 - 12-15-2006
Bismillah:
Quote:Also, what are the reasons for Islam allowing divorce?
If you don’t mind me asking, but do you have any other solution for a married couple who can’t stand each other anymore and peace disappeared from their life? <b>do you have anything to offer them from your Bible?</b>?
I myself found the following from the Bible <b>which was abrogated later on by Paul in the NT.</b>
<b>Deut 24</b>
24:1 When a man hath taken a wife, and married her, and it come to pass that <b>she find no favour in his eyes, because he hath found some uncleanness in her: then let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give it in her hand, and send her out of his house. </b>
24:2 And when she is departed out of his house, <b>she may go and be another man's wife. </b>
So as you can see, divorce sometimes is the solution for the betterment of some people, and at the same time it is considered in Islam to be the most hateful permissible act in the side of Allah.
hope this answer your question insha'Allah.
Salam
Wael.
Divorce In Islam - Faith Hope Charity - 12-16-2006
In the name of God - Father Son Holy Spirit.
May the peace of Jesus Christ be with you!
Quote:If you don’t mind me asking, but do you have any other solution for a married couple who can’t stand each other anymore and peace disappeared from their life? <b>do you have anything to offer them from your Bible?</b>?
Wael, marriage is a natural bond. In the same way as I can't divorce my mother or my father or my brother or my sister... I can't divorce my spouse either. When we enter into a covenantal marriage, we are not signing a 50-50 contract, we are vowing to give 100-100. It's an exchange of persons, not goods. We make a faithful & everlasting promise to ourself, our partner & to God.
The Church allows couples to separate under severe circumstance, but they must always have an intention to reconcile. In the eyes of God & the Church, you'll always be validly married to your spouse, therefore, starting another physical relationship with someone is considered adultery.
Jesus said, "They are no longer two but one. What God has joined together, let no man put asunder" (Matthew 19:6).
Quote:I myself found the following from the Bible <b>which was abrogated later on by Paul in the NT.</b>
<b>Deut 24</b>
24:1 When a man hath taken a wife, and married her, and it come to pass that <b>she find no favour in his eyes, because he hath found some uncleanness in her: then let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give it in her hand, and send her out of his house. </b>
24:2 And when she is departed out of his house, <b>she may go and be another man's wife. </b>
Wael, habibi, I am a Christian not a Jew. The Old Testament is crucial in Christianity, but we are not, nor have we ever been bound by the Mosaic Law. Jesus Christ completed & perfected the Old Covenant by establishing the New Covenant. The O/T is important to us because it contains the history of God's chosen people & the events leading up to the coming of Christ.
When Moses agreed to allow divorce amongst the Israelites, it was neither divine nor natural law. It was a man-made decision.
When the Pharisees approached Jesus & asked about divorce, Our Lord's response was, "For your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce, but from the beginning it was not so" (Matthew 19:7).
The Commandments were written on stone tablets - stone represents hard hearts. The prophet Ezekiel says that when the New Covenant comes, God will take out your heart of stone & give you a heart of flesh. A new heart in which God will write His law upon (Ezekiel 36:26).
Not only did Jesus abolish divorce, he also elevated the natural bond of matrimony to the level of an irreversible Sacrament!
Quote:"All scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness." (2 Timothy 3:16).
How sweet it is for a Muslim to preach the Gospel as though he's a Theology professor & Biblical scholar!
Wael, I don't pretend to be a expert when it comes to the Koran or the Haddith, therefore, I'd appreciate it if you didn't use the holy Word of God as a weapon to win your battles. Be humble enough to ask questions in a non-sarcastic way rather than dictate your own answers.
There are no contradictions in the Bible! There are no one liners in the Bible! There are no errors in the Bible! There is nothing more dangerous than a Muslim alone in a room with a Bible!
Everything in the Bible is inspired! God is the principle author of the Bible!
Our actions are inspired by our conscience. Our free-will determines how we live our lives.
I think you need to make the distinction!
For example...
When the evangelists wrote about Judas' betrayal, they were inspired by God to do so. But did God make Judas betray Jesus? Absolutely not! Judas, like the rest of us, was gifted with intellect & free-will. All the stories in the Bible are included at God's request, by the actions of the people are performed through their own free-will.
I hope you understand what I'm trying to say & I sincerly apologize if I'm being too brutal. But I'm sure you get frustrated too when people misinterpret Islam.
God bless you, Mate :)
Faith Hope Charity Openness Tolerance Equality
Divorce In Islam - SisterJennifer - 12-17-2006
Quote:
Wael, marriage is a natural bond. In the same way as I can't divorce my mother or my father or my brother or my sister... I can't divorce my spouse either. When we enter into a covenantal marriage, we are not signing a 50-50 contract, we are vowing to give 100-100. It's an exchange of persons, not goods. We make a faithful & everlasting promise to ourself, our partner & to God.
The Church allows couples to separate under severe circumstance, but they must always have an intention to reconcile. In the eyes of God & the Church, you'll always be validly married to your spouse, therefore, starting another physical relationship with someone is considered adultery
Hi Faith,
As you say, our actions are inspired by our conscience. One size does not fit all. Is it reasonable then, to assume that every couple having marital difficulty will be able to reconcile and make ammends?
For example: I know of one situation where the husband was very abusive with the wife and children. There were endless advices and people trying to help the family, but the man would not change. In fact, the abuse just became worse and worse to the point that the lives of the wife and kids was in danger. Their last family vacation ended with the husband in jail for assult, the mother in the hospital, and the children staying with reletives until she had recovered well enough to come home.
I cant believe for one second that God will wish to punish this woman further by forcing her to stay married with this man, OR even if she did divorce to prevent her from marriage with a good man who will care for her and support her and her children. THAT is the real hardness of the heart.
God knows better than us the many circumstances that will arise in marriage, be they this extreme or soemthing else. Sometimes divorce is the only option. And brother Wael said, in Islam, it is the most hated of the permissible actions. Therefore, we should try to avoid it and save ourselves from it as much as possible. But sometimes we just cannot.
Divorce In Islam - wel_mel_2 - 12-18-2006
Bismillah:
My question was:
Quote:If you don’t mind me asking, but do you have any other solution for a married couple who can’t stand each other anymore and peace disappeared from their life? do you have anything to offer them from your Bible??
and this was your answer??
Quote:Wael, marriage is a natural bond. In the same way as I can't divorce my mother or my father or my brother or my sister... I can't divorce my spouse either. When we enter into a covenantal marriage, we are not signing a 50-50 contract, we are vowing to give 100-100. It's an exchange of persons, not goods. We make a faithful & everlasting promise to ourself, our partner & to God.
The Church allows couples to separate under severe circumstance, but they must always have an intention to reconcile. In the eyes of God & the Church, you'll always be validly married to your spouse, therefore, starting another physical relationship with someone is considered adultery.
You didn’t answer my question FHC… all the above is nice and sweet, <b>but do you have any solution for a married couple who can’t stand each other anymore and peace disappeared from their life?</b> <b>do you have anything to offer them from your Bible??</b> I don’t care much about what the Church allows or disallowed!! <b>There are many churches out there that impose their own laws and doctrines on their followers and they contradict each other continuously </b> . So let the Bible speak of itself. <b>does your Bible offer this couple any solution to their problem? </b>
Quote:Wael, habibi, I am a Christian not a Jew. The Old Testament is crucial in Christianity, but we are not, nor have we ever been bound by the Mosaic Law. Jesus Christ completed & perfected the Old Covenant by establishing the New Covenant. The O/T is important to us because it contains the history of God's chosen people & the events leading up to the coming of Christ.
I know you are not a Jew, but you must understand that Jesus pbuh brought no new religion, and that his was the confirmation of all the teachings that had gone before him. He says:
<b>Think not that I am come to destroy the law</b> (Hebrew - Torah), <b>or the prophets</b>: <b>I am come not to destroy, but to fulfil.</b>
For verily I say unto you. <b>Till heaven and earth pass,</b> <b>one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled.</b>
Whosoever therefore shall <b>break one of these least commandments, and shall teach men so, he shall be called the least in the kingdom of heaven: but whosoever shall do and teach them, the same shall be called great in the kingdom of heaven. </b> BIBLE Matthew 5: 17-19
Now you are saying that “we are not, nor have we ever been bound by the Mosaic Law”
You see, you may convince me if you can bring some verses <b>FROM THE LIPS of Jesus Christ </b> where he himself said that "we are not bound by the law" Otherwise, <b>Mathew 5:17-19 clearly states that you must follow the Law/Torah otherwise you will be called the least in the Kingdom of heaven. </b>
Quote:When Moses agreed to allow divorce amongst the Israelites, it was neither divine nor natural law. It was a man-made decision.
So you are saying that God inspired Moses to write something <b>which was not divine</b>? Or you mean that <b>the first 5 books of Moses were not inspired by God at all, and they were man made decision?</b> If they were inspired by God, <b>then they are indeed divine and so they are valid because Jesus did not come to change the law or the teaching of the Prophets. </b>
Quote:How sweet it is for a Muslim to preach the Gospel as though he's a Theology professor & Biblical scholar!
First of all I am not preaching “the Bible”, I am only a student of several other religions and using Timothy in this manner <b>was taught to me by a Bible scholar</b>. The above mentioned verse is crystal clear and doesn’t need any help from any Bible scholar to interpret. And if i misuse it as you claimed, then please explain to me what it means!!
Quote:I'd appreciate it if you didn't use the holy Word of God as a weapon to win your battles. Be humble enough to ask questions in a non-sarcastic way rather than dictate your own answers.
What are you talking about? <b>Did you understand why I’ve quoted 2 Timothy 3:16 in the first place?? </b>
Quote:There are no contradictions in the Bible! There are no one liners in the Bible! There are no errors in the Bible!
Everything in the Bible is inspired! God is the principle author of the Bible!
These are different topics in which we may discuss on other threads. We respect your beliefs anyways.
Quote:There is nothing more dangerous than a Muslim alone in a room with a Bible!
Wow… is this your own judgment?
Quote:I hope you understand what I'm trying to say & I sincerly apologize if I'm being too brutal. But I'm sure you get frustrated too when people misinterpret Islam.
No, not at all, I am fine and open for more discussions, in fact I always ask Non Muslims what do you think is wrong with Islam, and accept their criticism with smiling face. So don’t get emotional while discussing issues in the Bible, or else no need to discuss at all. :)
Salam
Wael.
Divorce In Islam - Faith Hope Charity - 12-18-2006
Wael,
As difficult as it is for me to discuss Theology with you, I'll give it my best shot :)
The One, Holy, Catholic & Apostolic Church which Jesus founded on St Peter, the Rock, is referred to in the Bible as the Bride of Christ. She has the authority to teach, govern & sanctify her children on earth, with Christ as the head, of course. Christ & the Church are inseperable!. St Paul in his letters states that married couples image Christ & the Church. They become one & it is impossible for them to part ways.
Married couples who experience hard times are free to seperate temporarily (or permanently if lives are in danger), but they are never divorced from each other. Marriage requires sacrifice! When a man & a woman say their vows during their marriage ceremony, they promise to stick by each other in "sickness/health, good times/bad times, poor/wealth for all the days of their lives!"
In situations like domestic violence, it is definitely better that couples/children live apart, but that doesn't necessarily mean it's the end of the marriage. Rehabilitation and reconciliation is crucial & encouraged by the Church (who's sacred tradition is equal to sacred scripture).
You don't have to agree, but please try to understand, as I've tried to understand your position :)
Quote:I know you are not a Jew, but you must understand that Jesus pbuh brought no new religion, and that his was the confirmation of all the teachings that had gone before him.
Now you are saying that “we are not, nor have we ever been bound by the Mosaic Law” You see, you may convince me if you can bring some verses <b>FROM THE LIPS of Jesus Christ </b> where he himself said that "we are not bound by the law"
Jesus fulfilled the Old Covenant by establishing a New Covenant. Here's the difference... Christians do not get circumcised (we get baptised); Christians do not celebrate passover (we celebrate Mass instead); Christians do not perform the purity rituals described in Leviticus (we have the Scaraments which make us clean); Christians do not offer animal sacrifices (Christ, the Lamb of God, offered Himself as the ultimate sacrifice); Christians do not worship on Saturday's (We worship on the 8th Day - Sunday - the day of Jesus' resurrection); CHRISTIANS are no longer preparing for the coming of the Messiah (we are awaiting His second coming). The Old Covenant is finished (Jesus's last words on the Cross)!!!
Christ often conversed with the Pharisees (a group of pious Jewish lawyers) & called them hypocrites because of their legalistic life-styles. Jesus called for the coversion of their hearts.
I recommend you read the whole N/T (hahaha), but maybe start off with St Matthew's Gospel, chapter 5 (the Beatitudes), & the Acts of the Apostles which deals with the cessation of the Mosaic Law.
God inspired all the books in the Bible, however, he did not inspire the "characters" to do what they did within the stories. Moses was not a robot, he was a human being with intellect & free-will!
Quote:We respect your beliefs anyways.
Alleluia! I respect you for respecting me :peace:
Quote:No, not at all, I am fine and open for more discussions, in fact I always ask Non Muslims what do you think is wrong with Islam, and accept their criticism with smiling face. So don’t get emotional while discussing issues in the Bible, or else no need to discuss at all. :)
I'm open for more discussion too :) I don't wish to criticise Islam... I only seek a better understanding of it. I can talk non-stop about the Bible but I get emotional when it's taken out of context. I want everyone to see its beauty for what it really is.
It's all good, champ :thumb:
Take care!
Divorce In Islam - wel_mel_2 - 12-19-2006
Bismillah:
Quote:As difficult as it is for me to discuss Theology with you, I'll give it my best shot :)
i was hoping to find an answer from your Book of authority.
Quote:The One, Holy, Catholic & Apostolic Church which Jesus founded on St Peter, the Rock, is referred to in the Bible as the Bride of Christ. She has the authority to teach, govern & sanctify her children on earth, with Christ as the head, of course. Christ & the Church are inseperable!. St Paul in his letters states that married couples image Christ & the Church. They become one & it is impossible for them to part ways.
Married couples who experience hard times are free to seperate temporarily (or permanently if lives are in danger), but they are never divorced from each other. Marriage requires sacrifice! When a man & a woman say their vows during their marriage ceremony, they promise to stick by each other in "sickness/health, good times/bad times, poor/wealth for all the days of their lives!"
This solution of "separation" is <b>terrible</b> one, you haven’t been to Philippines to see the damages which were caused by this ‘separation System’, the Government along with the Catholic Church do not allow divorce in Philippines, and so when situation gets worse between husband and wife, they get separated, but then what happens? Each of them find a new partner and instead of getting divorce and marry this new partner (which is not allowed), they commit fornication and bore <i>“bastard children”</i> (as the Bible would call it), then the relationship will not last for long, and again they will find new partners and so on....
Now people in Philippines (and in some western countries as well) do not prefer to marry because divorce is prohibited, and so <b>having multiple girls and boys friends is more preferable than marriage</b> in other words, fornication was declared as HALAL. What kind of solution is that?
The rest of your post regarding the OT and NT was also discussed before on the web. please try to search and see my responses.
Thanks and salam
Wael.
Divorce In Islam - Faith Hope Charity - 12-21-2006
To my dear friend, Wael...
Quote:the Government along with the Catholic Church do not allow divorce in Philippines
I'm very impressed with the government. No surprises from the Church - it's always been the case :)
Quote:when situation gets worse between husband and wife, they get separated, but then what happens? Each of them find a new partner and instead of getting divorce and marry this new partner (which is not allowed), they commit fornication and bore “bastard children” (as the Bible would call it), then the relationship will not last for long, and again they will find new partners and so on....
Now people in Philippines (and in some western countries as well) do not prefer to marry because divorce is prohibited, and so having multiple girls and boys friends is more preferable than marriage in other words, fornication was declared as HALAL. What kind of solution is that?
You can't be serious, man! What difference does a piece of paper with the word "divorce" make? I don't see God's signature anywhere! Who's fooling who here? Divorce is a man-made invention that was created in order to allow people to do what they want & not feel guilty!
Someone who willingly enters into an unchaste relationship or an immoral lifestyle only has himself/herself to blame. Using the Church's doctrine on marriage/divorce is a weak excuse & I'm not buying it. The easy way out is always a recipe for diaster!
The Church does not relax her standards. She aims to help us distinguish between an authentic relationship & a counterfeit one. I hold the opinion that when divorce is permitted, marriage becomes less meaningful.
Peace & blessings :)
Divorce In Islam - wel_mel_2 - 12-22-2006
Bismillah:
Quote:I'm very impressed with the government. No surprises from the Church - it's always been the case :)
Well, you should hear what Catholic Filipinos say about this law… they just <b>HATE IT</b>.
Quote:You can't be serious, man! What difference does a piece of paper with the word "divorce" make?
It allows you to move on and find peace and tranquility with another person. I already told you that divorce is the most hateful yet permissible act in the side of Allah, but separation and not getting married again, might lead you to sin.
Quote:Divorce is a man-made invention that was created in order to allow people to do what they want & not feel guilty!
Now are you trying to say that the Qur’an is a man made invention? Or you are trying to say that the <i>“inspired words of God” </i> that was revealed to Moses in the OT were in fact <b>not</b> God’s words but man made invention?
Quote:Someone who willingly enters into an unchaste relationship or an immoral lifestyle only has himself/herself to blame.
I have to disagree, since your religion/Bible offer no solution for unsuccessful marriage, then people need to move on, the wife who can’t raise the children by herself needs some financial support, and the husband by nature cannot always live without partner. Now if both husband and wife get separated “and yet still married but don’t live together anymore”, then what is the point for marriage here? It is just <b>USELESS</b>.
Quote:I hold the opinion that when divorce is permitted, marriage becomes less meaningful.
I hold the opinion that when<b> SEPARATION </b> is permitted, then marriage becomes <b>TOTALLY meaningless</b>.
Salam
Wael.