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Ummrah experience of a young Muslimah - Muslimah - 07-01-2007
Bismillah
as salam alykom brothers and sisters,
I received this deeply touching experience about Ummrah on an email and thought i must share it with all of u here.
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When a dear friend shared her story of her Ummrah with me, I got that abnormal chill again. It's not a physical chill that you feel up your spine or on your skin; it's an inner chill of a longing feeling that I can't explain. I thank her so much for sharing her experience with me – since she is the cause of letting me share my story too.
But as I sit here and try to come up with words to explain the experience I don't find anything that is enough. I NEVER in my life thought that it would be so wonderful. So wonderful that it cancelled away all the peaks of my 30 past years. The Ummrah became my peak and nothing else matters anymore. I can't look forward to anything else except the next one and I don't enjoy anything as I used to anymore. I just ask God that He helps me to settle on the right path that I believe I have started.
Around 10 years ago – I was devastated when I heard that my Mum was going on the Hajj and will come back veiled from there. Haji, Hijab this was all to far fetched for me. So you can imagine how I used to think about Ummrah and Haji for myself– no way I could never go there!
For the past two to three years I have been wanting to go there so much. I remember how I spent the last sunset of 2006 praying and crying to Allah that He would grant me this trip in 2007. Sobhan Allah – Allah is Great. The circumstances of timing and traveling where planned and known by Him – I could never believe that it would have worked out with the timing due to my work schedule and needed paperwork for my travel. But I could hear Him call me throughout the procedures. He was waiting for me and my time had come to visit the best place on this Planet.
Upon the arrival in Medina I ran to the hotel window to look at the Prophet's mosque. I could understand how he loved Medina with it's peaceful atmosphere that is still felt and will be felt until the end of time. I was literally a different person in these 10 days. A person that would NEVER cry in public was sobbing and crying for 10 continuous days. I didn't feel the people that were around me – I got angry when I received a phone call from Egypt because I just didn't want to connect to that other world again.
My spirit was so high – I had a feeling that Allah is happy that I was there. I felt that I was somewhere in between two worlds. I had disconnected from our world on Planet Earth with all it's issues. I was only concentrating on prayer, reading Quran and feeling the atmosphere. I literally felt that I was between two lives – our life and another one.
Visiting the Prophet was an experience on it's own! The unknown world of the unseen feelings reveal and one is shocked with one self with feelings of humbleness, anxiety to get near him and the amazing feeling of being in the Rawda. Allah gives us so many gifts – a piece of El Genna on Earth, with the chance of all Muslims to visit, with the chance to feel things that are not felt anywhere else.
For the first time in my life I felt the feeling of envy when I observed the Indonesian girls cleaning and maintaining the Mosque. What a wonderful job I thought! She is living and working next to the Prophet. Her job is to make the visit of millions of Muslims easier every day of her working life. When she dies she will be buried in the Baquea. What a wonderful life!
I saw some of the nicest mountains in the world in Germany, Switzerland etc… But Ohoud was by far more than sensational. He too is part of El Janna and Allah's gift for us is that he is here with us. He has a spirit, he's happy; each and every stone lies back with pride and self respect, because he knows who he is and who he was. He is beautiful while every single stone is doing Tasbeeh.
I was happy with the person I had become there worried of what will turn out when I com back to our world.
The actual day of the Ummrah was probably the best day of my life. As we headed down from the hotel that was right in front of the door of the Kabba I felt with every step I was taking was a step towards the biggest thing in my life. I couldn't breath – I was so excited. I was sobbing before I could even see the Kabba… this was really it! I was so emotional once I got there and saw the Kabba that I actually got confused with that first prayer of mine – a prayer that again is such a valuable gift from Allah. A prayer that will come true.
Doing the actual Ummrah rituals was exquisite! I felt so small and so big. Small that I was here and doing this for Allah, asking Him for his forgiveness and mercy, and big because I was a Muslim with Allah's Love to come here. Big that my Islam gives me the chance to come to a place like this. Big because at this very point you feel Islam is the strongest weapon on this Earth and yet I felt small because I felt the responsibility I had towards not doing anything to show the unknown Islam to those how don't know.
The night after the Ummrah was the best sleep of my life. I felt that I was washed, not with soap and water, but my soul was washed with Allah's satisfaction – Ameen ya Rab!
From the time Allah made Earth until Judgment Day, the Kabba has people going around it 24/7 – what can be more powerful than that I felt! The peace and quietness was unlike any other peace and quietness.
The last day at the Kabba was the hardest. I didn't want to leave. I prayed and talked to Allah telling Him:" This is my last day and prayer from this place ….. please…..". I would finish and get up to leave but I couldn't. I find another spot and pray and say: "This is my last day and prayer from this place ….. please….."….. I just didn't want to leave. I couldn't walk giving my back to the Kabba.
The experience has literally made everything in life not worth that much as before for me and cancelled all the peaks in my life. The Ummrah has become my peak in life. The only thing I look forward to now is the next Ummrah.
I just ask Allah to make me strong in this world of ours since it is so difficult to live as a good Muslim in our community. Ever since I have been back I have an inner struggle of the next steps and what I should do to be a better Muslim.