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Behaviour upon son's death - Muslimah - 02-12-2009
When Umm Salim got married with Aba Talha Al Ansari and she was granted with a beloved son, his father loved him so much. The child became ill and died while his father was in his work. When the father returned home, he asked his wife about the son. She replied: he is in his quietest modes. She prepared dinner, wore perfume and dressed up in her best garments. Her husband took her to bed and had an intimate relation with her. By the end of the night, she told him: Aba Talha, do you see if some people lent other people a loan, a trust and a deposit, then came to ask them for it, would those people refuse to give it back? He said no. She continued: Allah may He be Glorified lent you your son as a load, and then took him back to Him, account this with Allah and be patient..
He said Inna lilahi wa inna elayhee rajeoun (to Allah we are and to Allah we shall return) . Next morning, he went to the Messenger of Allah sallah Allah a`lyhee wa sallam and told him. He said, may Allah bless your past night. She became pregnant, the newly born was brought to the Prophet sallah Allah a`lyhee wa sallam. The Prophet took some dates, chew them, and he took the ground dates with his finger and place it into the infant's mouth and the infant would taste. She said: O Messenger of Allah, give him a name, he name him Abdullah. There no better young man in Medina than him. His off spring were all of the Mujahedeen who performed Jihad in the name of Allah on foot not riding. Abdullah martyred in Persia. In another narration. Abu Talha was granted ten sons who all memorized the Quran. (reported by Bukhari and Muslim)
Behaviour upon son's death - Muslimah - 02-12-2009
Narrated under the authority of Abdullah Ibn A`mr Bin Ala`as that
Rasullah salla Allah A`lyhee wa sallam said: Dunia (this world) is a
place of enjoyment and the best of this world's enjoyment is a rightous
woman" (reported by Musnad Ahmed)
Behaviour upon son's death - SisterJennifer - 02-13-2009
Sister Muslimah, or anybody,
Can you please explain this hadith to me. I've never really understood the point behind it and I know I am not the only one. Is it trying to say we are supposed to give our husband food and pleasures before bad news? I think if I were in this situation I would not even wait for him to come home, I will call him to come right away. I have a feeling there is more to this hadith than meets the eye.
Behaviour upon son's death - Muslimah - 02-14-2009
Bismillah
This is the whole point behind narrating such hadeeth and making Umm Salim a role model Jennifer is that the vast majority of women would just behave under emotional distress. But this woman (and the point is not giving food and pleasure), but the point is how to bring such news, how to analyse it, she introduced it as that Allah Took back the trust He originally granted. It is about how a Muslim woman should perceive the most difficult test a partent can go thru.
BTW, my grandmother behaved in a smiliar situation almost the same. Her daughter was very ill, she was looking after her and my granfather was downstairs, the daugter passed away, my granny came down saying she slept. Only in the morning that she broke the news, however, also after she felt the daughter passed away, she said 3 times Alhamdulelah for loosing my daughter. There are even role models in the modern time.
So to sum it up, no the hadeeth is not about giving the husband food and pleasure, it is about how to perceive/behave during tests and trials.
Leave alone that it also indicates how Allah Rewards those who are patient and accept Allah's decree.
Behaviour upon son's death - SisterJennifer - 02-14-2009
Yes, I understand that. Of course the emphasis should be on how she broke the news. Obviously, I can call my husband home from work and break the news the same way. Or just let him come home and break it in the same way. I didnt mean we should call frantically to bring him home. Do you think I want to make an accident? But for sure Im not going to feel like dinner and a rendezvous and I dont think a woman should have to feel like she is faulty for that.
And of course we have role models in every era alhumdulilah! Even in our own communities.
Behaviour upon son's death - Muslimah - 02-15-2009
Bismillah
Of course jennifer we do have role models in every era, however, as you asked me to try and explain the hadeeth, according to u, the point was a bit ambigous for you and others, I tried. So just to underline things, the main point is not only how did she break the news, but also how did she perceive it, which made such a hard test bearable for her and the husband and because of this Allah Rewarded them much. Again, as you certainly know, Quran and Sunnah are filled with teachings and landmarks which we must strive all our lives to follow as much as possible. Non of us will be able, though, to fully implement them. We can only try.
Behaviour upon son's death - Muslimah - 02-15-2009
Bismillah
Jazaki Allah khairan Jennifer for making me ponder more deeply in the hadeeth. Sobhan Allah, as far as I can see, probably Umm Salim realised and thought of the other hadeeth that promises parents who loose children and maintain patience saying inna lilahi wa inna elayhi rajeoun that Allah Commands for the building a house in Jannah for them. This is what mitigated the hard test for her and allowed her to behave in such a manner. wallahu a`lam.
May be you too if u try to ponder more deeply you can come up with more lessons to be learnt and share it with us.
Behaviour upon son's death - SisterJennifer - 02-15-2009
Jazak Allah khairn sister. Actually I have been thinking about it too. I was thinking about the story of Musa when we met the wise man, Khidar (I dont know if I have the name correct) and while he was with him the wise man killed a little boy. Musa could not understand why he would do such a seemingly cruel thing and came to find out later that the boy that was killed was not a believer but his parents were good people and believers and he was going to be a problem for the parents and later the parents, didn't Allah replace the lost child with a better one?
Behaviour upon son's death - Muslimah - 02-15-2009
Bismillah
Mash a Allah Jennifer, see when we try and look for the insight of the hadeeth we Alhamdulelah come up with more and more lessons that makes us realise the wisdom of our beloved Messenger salla Allah a`lyhee wa sallam.
Behaviour upon son's death - Muslimah - 02-18-2009
Bismillah
I also believe that it is about how to invest any situation in getting closer to Allah and Please Allah.